My journey: baby steps and gigantic strides

[PaigeK]

Perhaps I discovered my desire to dress a little later than most. As I recall, I think I was about 12. This age seems accurate because I vividly remember mixed feeling of arousal, comfort, and shame the first time I put on my mom's clothes.

The first item was a gorgeous pair of black suede pumps. I felt so elegant standing on those 4" heels! After that, I started looting her closet at every opportunity for items I knew she no longer wore. Out of sight, out of mind, right? One afternoon, home alone, I found some red garters and black stockings in a box in the back of the closet. I was enthralled...I had to try them with the outfit I had cobbled together. Those stockings and garters under a mid-thigh length skirt made me feel so alive!

Since then, I have dressed off and on. As I've reached my mid-40's, I realize my tastes run toward the flirty and fun; short skirts, high heels, etc. I've never been in public, or seen. I've driven around during the day dressed as Paige, and also at night. I have taken movies back to the Redbox at off-hours dressed as Paige, and it was nerve-racking, but I survived. I've had grand plans of going to a drive-thru window, or to the bank, or to pump gas in the car, and I always back out. I'm nearly certain that no one will recognize me, but even though I'm perfectly comfortable sitting in traffic next to a car full of gawking teenagers, I can't bring myself to "emerge" from my safe haven behind the wheel. I'm 6'3" and proportional in build, so I make a tall and broad-shouldered woman. I'm fine with that. I would just love to be comfortable enough with my look to go out when I chose and not be mortified to be read.

My wife does know I've dressed. She has accepted that it's part of my life, but that's about it. I love her dearly, and don't want to hurt her, and I think coming out would devastate her. So, I remain closeted, but for the occasional business trip, or when she and our children are out of town.

In the day or so I've been accepted here, I feel so welcome. And confident. Thank you to everyone who has extended a welcome and encouragement. I'm looking forward to learning much from this group.

Hugs,

Paige

[Martha G]

Why thank you Paige.

There are so many friendly and knowledgeable women on this forum.

I have been on the forum for about a year and have gotten so much good advice and encouragement as well as making wonderful friends.

This forum has helped me to bring out and enjoy my feminine personality as well as the joys of dressing as and acting like the hidden woman within me AND presenting my self as an attractive mature lady.. I just love dressing as a woman. It is so relaxing! I feel so comfortable as Martha.

Do enjoy yourself on this forum the way that I have.

[PaigeK]

Thank you, Martha! I'm looking forward to learning much from this wonderful group of ladies.

[Requal Jo]

Thank you for sharing Paige.