Crossdressers-Haven.com

How it all began. I started roughly when I was 19-20 years old. I had no desire to dress in any way before then. At this time in my life I was going through a confusing time emotionally, I thought it was the-am I gay or straight dilema. For months this was tearing me apart . This will sound crazy but one day I had an awakening, little did I know this would be my rebirth. All the pieces of the puzzle were coming together. I am different not because of Straight-gay dilema. I was not different because of sex, I was different cause I was the wrong sex. It was inside me, I was a woman. A feeling of relief came over me, a ton of bricks was taken off my shoulders. But now what? I had to dress as a woman if I was to be a woman. I was in the punk scene at the time so dressing differently would be no problem, Everyone was already calling me names, so nothing would change. I would go out half dressed for a while but it wasn't enough I had to dress completely fem( albiet punk fem). I would go to dance clubs dressed, what a feeling, dancing all night, nobodies bad words could spoil my evening. I was in heaven. Being dressed made it easier for me to block out the bad in the world. Although dressing was enchanting I didn't get a sexual thrill from it. The feeling wasn't sexual, I wanted my outer appearance to reflect who I was on the inside.
But I love hearing all the girls stories in this forum. I have had the same encounters in life as you, I can relate to your fun times and troubling times.
Love Amelie

Hi Amelie

Most interesting tale ... I'm amazed how the world is opening up about CD/TGing ...
for decades I "closeted" myself "suspecting" but never wanting to "believe" that I was "sick" ... talented and good natured, but "sick" ...
thinking I had been dealt a "losing hand" by the Gods of genetics ... no body hair to show- fair, smooth skin - relatively fine features - certainly nothing that makes a "Man" other than good working parts ... until a few weeks ago I was resigned to existing in hiding

as mentioned elsewhere one of the best compliments I ever has was when a former intimate SO told me I'd make a "Good Girl" ... and when I coyly asked her how she knew that she just said "Girls know these things" ...

well I'm graitified to hear your tale and believe that people like us (never mind the clinical or media terminology) are coming "out" earlier in their lives and not placing so much importance on how others react

I guess we all take our place in the pages of the CD/TG Success StoryBook

c u in the fitting room

Love / Marda

Yes Marda, us grrrls must stick together.

Love Amelie

Amelie,
Glad you have found yourself and for sharing with us. We look forward to hearing from you and your adventures, I am sure you have some great stories to tell and I love your wardrobe. I can not wear it, but it is wonderful and I hope you share more with us.
Love,
Deborah

Hi Amelie,

That was a really cool beginnings story. I found myself thinking "Am I gay?" a lot when I was a child too. It wasn't until later in life that I found out, "You know you're gay because you like men!" How ditzy am I to not know that from the start, huh?

Thanks for sharing your beginnings story with us and I surely hope you continue to share yourself with us and we get to know you better.

Beauty

Hi all,

That was a great post, Amelie. Thanks for sharing. I look forward to hearing more about you.

I'm also trying to picture you as a cross between Nancy Spungen and Amélie Poulain (Audrey Tatou is just so cute). Will you eventually post pix on the gallery?

Love,
CJ

Thanks for the wonderful comments, I will post more of my life as I get used to things. As far as pictures on the gallery, I have a camera problem, I don't have one yet. I have a few pictures but I was rushed and they look like drivers liscense photos-Unviewable. I will try again in the future.

Thanks and Love Amelie

Hey Amelie
If you want ... I have a buddy down at the police dept who will "loan" you some of the pics "they" have of you as long as they're returned in time for your trial

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(Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha ... *Couldn't resist*)

Love / Marda

Marda, How did you know they have my pictures?

Amelie, Starting out when you are in your late teens and early twenties , I wonder if it was easier to deal with or harder? Just a question that no one can answer. I really like your look, if I was young today I would be into the goth look. Glad to hear you get that gay straight thing sorted out. We all go through that question. Your beginning didn't have any hiding like most, How refreshing, and nice to see you accept yourself so fast and completely. Sorry that i haven't seen your post of your beginngs sooner, been a might busy with school starting next week, and so tired ,I have not been online as much as i have in the past. Very intresting reading your beginnings . i look forward to hearing more. .......Kristen

Wotcha Amelia,
Its not unusual (Cue- Tom Jones)
to start later in life. You were able to deal with it, which must have helped.
I like your look, I have always liked Goth but you couldn't do it in my day.

I was a "Greaser" in my youth which meant riding a motorbike, leathers, long greasy hair, huge beard and lots of bottles of Newcastle Brown Ale.



Kerry

Did you fight the mods over there?

Love Amelie

Hi Amelie,

No not the MODS. They were a tadge ealier than my era. We did however have a fair few rammies with skinheads. I remember on bright sunny day riding my motorbike through our neighbourhood. Up ahead about twenty skinheads formed a line across the road from fence to fence.
I can still see the look of disbelief on the gang leaders face when I opened my throttle fully and aimed straight at him. He stood his ground till the last moment, I didnt look back.