Don't know when it started
Posted: Fri Feb 18, 2005 12:27 pm
I really can't remember when I DIDN'T feel a strong desire to crossdress. It just always was. Several of the neighborhood friends I had were girls and I used to be so attentive to what they were wearing. Baaaaack then, petticoats were the norm and I was entranced by the noise, look, etc. And of course, always wondered how wonderful it must be to wear them.
I had only two older brothers. Naturally, the only source of female clothing available then was my mothers and whenever the opportunity arrose, I took advantage wearing bras, girdles, etc. Mom had a sewing room and one day I found several yards of nylon net. With a little imagination and some, I managed to gather it into a faux petticoat. Heaven!
Sometime around first grade, I found an old trunk in our basement. Opening it up, I found some old dresses and thinking no one knew I was down there, put one on and zipped it up on the side. Suddenly, I was busted. There was my Mom asking what I was doing. She swatted my bottom, took the dress and packed it back away and told me to go upstairs to wait for Dad to get home. Strangely, nothing more was ever said.
It wasn't until just a few years ago, after my mother's death, I was going through an old scrapbook and found a picture of a neighbor girl and her friend. The picture was taken when she was probably around 4 and her friend, maybe 3 years old? Close scrutiny of the photo however, reveals her 3 year old friend was in fact me! Wearing the cutest little dress and petticoat! Now, I have to be honest here. I was always told the first girl was my best friend until she moved away. I have no recollection of her at all however, and that could explain why I don't remember being dressed as a little girl.
Now I wish I could have talked to my mother about it all. Maybe I could finally figure out how all this started? Perhaps not, but....sigh....Maybe mom always wanted a daughter.....maybe it just is what it is....so many questions, so few answers.
Thanks for listening
I had only two older brothers. Naturally, the only source of female clothing available then was my mothers and whenever the opportunity arrose, I took advantage wearing bras, girdles, etc. Mom had a sewing room and one day I found several yards of nylon net. With a little imagination and some, I managed to gather it into a faux petticoat. Heaven!
Sometime around first grade, I found an old trunk in our basement. Opening it up, I found some old dresses and thinking no one knew I was down there, put one on and zipped it up on the side. Suddenly, I was busted. There was my Mom asking what I was doing. She swatted my bottom, took the dress and packed it back away and told me to go upstairs to wait for Dad to get home. Strangely, nothing more was ever said.
It wasn't until just a few years ago, after my mother's death, I was going through an old scrapbook and found a picture of a neighbor girl and her friend. The picture was taken when she was probably around 4 and her friend, maybe 3 years old? Close scrutiny of the photo however, reveals her 3 year old friend was in fact me! Wearing the cutest little dress and petticoat! Now, I have to be honest here. I was always told the first girl was my best friend until she moved away. I have no recollection of her at all however, and that could explain why I don't remember being dressed as a little girl.
Now I wish I could have talked to my mother about it all. Maybe I could finally figure out how all this started? Perhaps not, but....sigh....Maybe mom always wanted a daughter.....maybe it just is what it is....so many questions, so few answers.
Thanks for listening
