>>While trying my hardest to remember, I recall the first time being when I was younger. I'm not really sure as to what age but I would assume somewhere around Pre-school to Kindergarten (4-6 ish). I remember first playing in my sisters room with her when she got the idea to dress me up. I really can't recall my reaction but I dont think I was too embarassed.
I remember I wore a little red jumper and I had so much fun (I still get teased about that heh). I think I remember that plastic play jewelry as well and maybe some other accessories. I don't think I was embarrassed until my mom saw, but she just laughed and thought it was cute. My dad didn't care at all from what I remember and I still have a somewhat clear memory of him wearing something of my moms (but I really don't know if I'm just imagining that).
The next day we were playing outside and I remember asking my sister if we could do it again, but she said no because her friend was coming over. However, we did do it quite a few more times but I dont remember any other clothing. We used to do a lot together and we still do sometimes but not so much. We even shared a room for a while and had a blast.
As I got older, my interests kind of faded in and out as usual and I progressed further in my discoveries. I remember trying on make up one time in the bathroom when I was home alone and my dad came home. He said we had to go somewhere right away and I paniced as I wiped it all off (on a white rag no less
). I remember playing in the basement with the large washing room and bathroom and played dress up by myself with all of the clothes I could find. When I was probably nearer to middle school, my sister told me to try on a black dress that was in the basement but I refused to. No less than 5 minutes later I remember pulling the "I guess if you really want me to I can" excuse.
In Jr High I guess I really got more into it and I loved wearing what I could and even began "rescuing" some things. However that slowly turned for the worse as I began to "borrow" and so on. I would dress at night and watch my favorite shows before I went to bed. I would sometimes wear stuff underneath (and still do) and would wear stuff around the house at night while nobody was home.
About 2 years ago, disaster struck and my CDing life came to a screeching halt. My hiding place was found and I was so busted. I remember my sister and my mom were just laughing but I thought it wasn't funny at all. I could hear their conversation about it upstairs and I was so nervous I almost died. I ignored them until my dad told me they were calling me, so I dragged my feet upstairs and just wanted to cry.
My mom asked me if I was a crossdresser but I said no. I didn't know what to say because her body language seemed threatening but there has yet to be a word about it for all of these years. I didn't know what she would do so I lied and I'm 95% sure she knows it and it is kind of like a mutual understanding (or a "Dont ask, dont tell" sort of deal). I re-rescued some things but I really decided to stop for quite a while and kinda remained laid back.
Now it has come back in full force and I know I have the love and support I need. I love my SO, Amanda, more than anything and I believe I am so lucky to have someone so wonderful (yet she thinks she's the lucky one
). She has helped me discover who I am and is very supportive of everything I do (as I am with her). Hmm... well, I let her discuss that, hehe.Thanks for listening to this really long post and I'm sorry about that. I like to write and there is alot more I could but I just left it out for the sanity of the readers. I hope to have fun here and I can't wait to say more.
Bye for now!
AJ
