Crossdressers-Haven.com

Hi girls!

Thank you for all the welcoming words. It’s nice to be among such friendly, supportive people.

My feelings and desires about crossdressing were confused and repressed until I was in my early 20’s. I had made a few fumbling attempts, but being clueless about women’s clothing, sizing, fit, etc. – and without anyone to help me – my attempts were futile.

Then I met the woman to whom I’ve been married for the past 43 years. It was the luckiest thing that ever happened to me. The basis of our relationship from the beginning was total honesty and acceptance. I was very open about my crossdressing desires, and my wife has been more than accepting; she’s enthusiastic and helpful, and my crossdressing has been fully integrated into our life – it’s just one of the fun things we do together.

Like many of you, my crossdressing life has gone through many stages. At first it was purely a sexual turn-on and I tended to favor the trashiest, most blatantly sexy looks. But over the years, and through several wardrobe “purges,” I discovered the styles that most truly reflected my inner feminine feelings. While there is still a sexual element to being dressed (who wouldn’t feel sexy wearing beautiful clothes and sensuous fabrics?) the feeling I get now from crossdressing is one of total comfort and relaxation, knowing that I’m being true to my inner self.

Only my wife and few close female friends know about my crossdressing. Our daughter knows and fully approves, but I’ve never crossdressed in front of her. I’ve been out “en femme” a couple of times, but for various reasons – my age, physical disability and a total lack of “passability” – I dress only at home now. I must admit to a twinge of jealousy when I see how beautiful you girls look, and when I read about your shopping trips to the mall. But just as in love, the most important thing about crossdressing is not outward appearance but innermost feelings.

Being semi-retired now and working at home, I’m freer than ever before to indulge my secret passion and more content than I’ve ever been. I count my blessings every day. All of this is no accomplishment of mine – I was simply lucky enough to have met the right woman. The real heroines are all of you girls who have the courage and honesty to be true to yourselves without the help and encouragement that I had. For every one of you, I bet there are twenty men (maybe more) who, deep down, would like to crossdress but lack your courage and honesty.

Thanks for listening.

XOXOX
Dinah

What a wonderful story. I think many of us would love to be in your shoes with your wife being so supportive. My wife knows but has never seen me dressed. I tell her enough times that I dress almost daily when I am at home working. One day, I'm sure she will catch me dressed and I secretly hope that to be the case.

My daughter keeps making little comments. THe last was asking me about my eyebrows, if I plucked them. Hmmmm, I didn't lie, and I am sure she is questioning things in her mind, she is 18yo.

Thanks for your story.

Congratulations on those 43+ yrs of being married to your wonderful wife.

Hi Dinah--
I like that story. I'm glad your daughter also knows, and I can understand why you don't need to demonstrate it to her. I have family like that, too--it's enough that they know. They don't have to meet "me."

I suspect there are a lot of 'bubbling under the surface' crossdressers out there, too. What mystifies me as much as the reasons why we do it, is...what is it that reaches 'critical mass' and suddenly it becomes a neccessity to express this?

I told at least three girlfriends that I had crossdressed as a teen, just covering my bases, I suppose. But the need never came up to do anything about it, with them or without them. Until I was 49, I would feel wistful when I saw advertisements for drag shows, but it was like something I had decided would not be part of my life again. And it was not a struggle to do this at the time. It was not convenient to have CDing as part of my life, so I didn't do it. How I was able to do this is not known to me, sitting here.

And then it came back in a new way, and it was no longer much of a choice. If I didn't express it somehow, I was going to suffer.

It's also easy for me to say that you should be applauded for being honest from the start. That certainly is the ideal, but there's many CDs who feel that they'll have to go through ten years' worth of potential partners to find anyone who will accept them.

I say, "easy for me," because I didn't have to deal with making this a part of my relationships. There are many women who can accept this as something that one 'used to do,' or might want to do. It's having to deal with the actuality of it that gets to an SO. So you've got a ggod situation there, as you know.

dinah wrote:I had made a few fumbling attempts, but being clueless about women’s clothing, sizing, fit, etc. – and without anyone to help me – my attempts were futile.

I think we've all been through the futility stage, Dinah. It's good to have a supportive spouse who can nurture and guide you. Count your blessings, girlfriend. You're very fortunate.

Thanks for sharing your early experiences with us.
Hugs,
Kyra

Dinah,
I understand completely about finally feeling at ease with myself when I'm dressed en femme. I think I would call a lot of the other feelings more sensous than sexual.As far as making love to my wife it's strictly a "male" thing, although Lisbeth is right there also. Since I came out with my wife she says that I am much more attetive and sexy when we ""fool around". She likes it.
I also can tell you that I went through the sex pot slutty stage and found that it got old pretty fast. Now I'm most comfortable just being the girl that I am inside and, although I don't think I pass very well I really don't care. In my mind I'm beautiful and feminine and I can leave all the macho bulls**t behind for awhile. It's such a relief to just be able to finally express my emotions like I want to.
By the way. Welcome to the forum. This is one bunch of really wonderful and understanding people here. we are all here to help and encourage each other any way we can. If you need anything just ask.
Love,
Lisbeth

Thanks to all for your responses. I love being among girls I can be honest with, who’ve gone through all the same stages I’ve gone through. Right now I’m all excited: a blouse I bought on ebay just arrived in the mail and I can hardly wait to try it on. It’s semi-sheer crepe with a floral pattern, big billowing sleeves and ruffles down the front and at the wrists. Hope it fits!
Hugs to all,
Dinah

Now I'm most comfortable just being the girl that I am inside and, although I don't think I pass very well I really don't care. In my mind I'm beautiful and feminine and I can leave all the macho bulls**t behind for awhile. It's such a relief to just be able to finally express my emotions like I want to.

Lisbeth, that's it exactly!

Have I told you I hated you lately??? hehehe Just kidding lucky girl......

Love Karren

I just looked through your albums, Karren. Lucky girl....

Awwwww.... I just practice a lot, that's all it is!! hehe... Thanks, your too sweet....

Karren