11 to 11
Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 8:39 pm
I was an 11-year old boy the day I realized I wanted to be an 11-year old girl. Actually, as I later discovered, I wanted to be a woman. Mind you, I'm not pretending I was a girl trapped in a boy's body. That's a serious issue that needs to be addressed with care and compassion.
In fact, I felt like a boy trapped in a boy's body and I wanted out. I simply wanted to be female because women seemed happy, pretty, nice and they got to wear the most beautiful clothes. (Probably influencing me was the fact that I was raised by two divorced women; my mother and her sister.)
I remember distinctly how it happened. I was playing in our apartment while mom and my aunt were at work.
I had been dancing around the living room to the music from the just-released My Fair Lady Broadway show album and I was in love with the idea of being transformed into a lady just like Julie Andrews was in the show.
(In my youthful enthusiasm, I ignored the fact that she was already a woman before she became a lady.)
Rooting around in drawers and closets, I gathered together my mother's bra, a skirt, a frilly blouse and even a pair of her high heels. I dressed up in her clothes and this sudden euphoria came over me. It was the happiest I had ever felt as a youth. I looked in the mirror, loved what I saw and cried tears of happiness. I looked almost like a woman. For the next few months, I sneaked around and wore my mother's clothes whenever I could. I went to the library and read books about female impersonators like Julian Eltinge and Jim Bailey. I also poured through my aunt's magazines which had lots of pictures of women in pretty dresses in them.
more here: http://kdcleve.blogspot.com/2007/01/why.html
In fact, I felt like a boy trapped in a boy's body and I wanted out. I simply wanted to be female because women seemed happy, pretty, nice and they got to wear the most beautiful clothes. (Probably influencing me was the fact that I was raised by two divorced women; my mother and her sister.)
I remember distinctly how it happened. I was playing in our apartment while mom and my aunt were at work.
I had been dancing around the living room to the music from the just-released My Fair Lady Broadway show album and I was in love with the idea of being transformed into a lady just like Julie Andrews was in the show.
(In my youthful enthusiasm, I ignored the fact that she was already a woman before she became a lady.)
Rooting around in drawers and closets, I gathered together my mother's bra, a skirt, a frilly blouse and even a pair of her high heels. I dressed up in her clothes and this sudden euphoria came over me. It was the happiest I had ever felt as a youth. I looked in the mirror, loved what I saw and cried tears of happiness. I looked almost like a woman. For the next few months, I sneaked around and wore my mother's clothes whenever I could. I went to the library and read books about female impersonators like Julian Eltinge and Jim Bailey. I also poured through my aunt's magazines which had lots of pictures of women in pretty dresses in them.
more here: http://kdcleve.blogspot.com/2007/01/why.html
