SO's dealing with different types of CDs

[Betty Ann]

Hi all

I have been lurking for a while and decided to join the group as I have a question for the GGs. There seems to be different types of CDs so does each type have the same impact on you as a woman.

For example:

1) CDs wear bra and panties fulltiime.
2) CDs fully dress enfemme at home
3) CDs fully dress enfemme and go out in public that way
4) CDs that want more than women's clothes so want hormones to assist in femininzing.
5) CDs that dress in items that the SO approves of making her in charge of your dressing

So with these examples do most women consider them all the same or would you be ok if your spouse only did the first example. I guess what I am trying to say is do you as a woman think of all CDs the same way?

I for example are #1 but did #3 with a girlfriend years ago. Oh by the way it was her choice to do #3 as she felt if I wanted to dress in women's clothes then she would test just how much. Now I am happy to wear a bra and panties.

Thanks, Betty Ann

[Renee N (SO)]

I don't think of all CD's as the same. I believe there is a spectrum with everyone falling somewhere on it, some more conservative and some more liberal, depending on their tastes and habits.

I'm okay with #2 as it's only been four months since I found out about my husband. As time goes on I believe I will become comfortable with more.

[Absaroka]

That's one way of differentiating types of CDs. Another is the reasons behind it.

Wearing clothes as affection. Wearing my wifes sweat shirt is not CDing. Wearing her nightgown is. But part of the attraction of both is that they are hers. I can wear my daughter or sisters flannel shirt too.

Wearing them as a random sexual thrill. It doesn't matter who's they are. But now that I'm married I'll wear my own panties, my wifes panties, never my daughters panties, and would feel uncomfortable wearing any other womans panties. As a young boy in the throes of my Oedipal stuff I wore my moms clothes, also my aunts and the next door neighbors. At a certain age wearing my mothers lingerie no longer felt okay, but I could wear my girlfriends. Be inside the clothes, be inside the woman, in the sexual connotations of "inside" Enjoy the endorphins.

Fashion and comfort. Mens clothes are boring. (So are my womens solid color skirts and tank tops. Can't use that arguement.) Womens clothes are more comfortable physically. I have womens tanks I wear under my guy tee shirt in the winter, quite openly. They are softer, warmer because of the fit, and just seem more functional in terms of comfort and warmth. Barely even CDing.

Theatricality and fantasy. Some folks do this as performance art, including drag queens. Some do it as a way of being their own imaginary friend. Sort of like masturbation while wearing panties except there is no masturbation and it doesn't feel sexual. The feeling I get that the woods is the best place to wear a skirt. (and clearly this is not a question of practicality)

Liking to push boundaries. Instead of piercings and tattoos everywhere I can just wear a dress.

Feeling uncomfortable with being 100% male. Many people here talk about wearing womens clothes openly as a way of escaping from male roles or machismo. But they are feminine men, with no desire to transition. This is CDing at a psychic level. A part of my personality I am able to incorporate independently of attire.

Trans or intersexuals. I have a male body, but inside I'm a woman. I'm wearing my correct clothing for who I am. I might be a NOTS like Virgina. (Non Operative Transexual) for a variety of reasons ranging from not wanting to have major surgery to not feeling I need surgery.

Transexuals who are on their way to surgery. Again this is not CDing. In fact when this person wears mans clothing they are CDing.

The first category feels pretty benign to most people. The next few are the categories that earn us the epitet of pervert from people disturbed by things out of the ordinary. The last two categories, with good reason, are deeply disturbing to most of our spouses, who married a man and don't want to be married to a woman no matter how much they love who we "really are" any more than we want our wife to become a man.

Great topic.

Zari

[DanteCarrie (FTM)]

Yeah I agree there are different types of CDing like just wearing underwear or wearing all opposite sex clothes or trying to pass in public
although i think cross dressing and transvestitism are two different things. Thats why there are different words for it. a transvestite attempts to pass as the other gender in what they wear whereas a crossdresser is happy to wear the clothes but not try to pass i.e. maybe not stuff bra etc.
and then transgendered is different again those wanting to atke hormones are not crossdressers as they wish to be more permenantly and physically like the other gender and are not fully happy with their own gender.
and transexualism is a desire to undergo surgery to achieve the opposite gender.

I would be very very ok with a man wearing bra and panties full time or a girl wearing boxers full time. thats so sexy. I would be very ok with a man dressing enfemme at home again super sexy and I would be ok with a girl dressing as a boy but I would hope that if i had a girlfriend rather than a boyfriend that she'd dress femme for me sometimes as that would be a nice treat.
I would also be ok and find it sexy for a man or women to crossdress in public.
I personally would be ok with number four as i find both men and women ttractive BUT it is different. its transgenderism and i could see why straight or gay people would be unhappy with a change in partners physical body to the other gender. I'm ok with it. I'd be more ok with a man getting hormones to look more female than a girlfriend wanting hormones to look like a boy as transgendered FTM tend to cut their hair. I do not find male looking people attractive with short hair. On the whole I'm more attracted to MTFs because they are gaining things i.e. rocking tits rather than loosing their breasts. be either way i would have some reservations as i would miss parts of their body I'd grown attatched too but i guess I'd ajust either way in the end.
I don;t really understand type 5. I mean i don't want to tell people what to wear.
My type of CDing is pretty mild. I sometimes wear men's underwear and shirts and jackets or jackets and shirts styled to look masculine or androgynous and i love ties masculine suits etc. and tie back my hair and gell it up and wear no eye makeup to be more boyish and very occasionally pretend to be a boy inline and when I'm alone stuff my boxers just for fun. thats the extent of it for me. My partner is ok with this as i still go femme as well to vairing degrees. and i never try to pass as i can't anyways.

[Merryn (SO)]

Hi Betty Ann,

I am a GG in my 20's. I have very recently found out about my partner's CDing.

At this point in time I would only be comfortable with 1 or 2. I would like to explore 5 ie: assisting him to dress but because this is so new, we need to move at a speed that is mutually agreeable.

I would definitely NOT be open to him being dressed in public yet but that's just the place I am in at the moment and may change in the future as I become more comfortable with it.

The taking of hormones to assist feminising opens up a whole new set of mental hurdles for me as I am not, nor have I ever been physically attracted to females and it would cause his body to take on feminine characteristics. At this stage, I am comfortable in the knowledge that he can dress in what he likes but can undress and just as quickly become the masculine man I have loved for so long.

One big problem for me is that I am so feminine myself and I sometimes worry that I will be forced into a masculine role in our relationship, which would have a serious impact on my own identity as a woman. I also don't like him dressing in my clothes (I have alot of nice clothes, stockings heels etc) because I use my clothing to express myself as a woman and I feel it is deeply personal, so I will assist him to buy his own when he is ready to discuss it more openly.

Take care,
Merryn

[DonnaT]

One big problem for me is that I am so feminine myself and I sometimes worry that I will be forced into a masculine role in our relationship, which would have a serious impact on my own identity as a woman.

Don't let it change who you are, or you might come to resent it, instead of finding (hopefully) mutual enjoyment in it.

[Betty Ann]

Great replies to my post from both CDs and SOs. I was just curious how the SOs thought of their guys dressing enfemme. If anyone else has anny ideas or feedback feel free to add it here.

Thanks, Betty Ann