Croydon Trans Group

Paula G · Post by **Paula G** » Sun Jan 16, 2011 3:19 pm

Although I don't actually live in Croydon (the 10th largest town in the UK) I am right on the borders, after a little bit of work on the web I have found this group. They meet in a local pub, know as a "gay" pub, but quite close to me and a little off the beaten track. Meetings are scheduled for the second Saturday of each month, I am inclined to go to the next meeting, but am a little nervous since I have never been to anything like this before (unless you count Weight Watchers).

My worries are
A/ what are they like - does anyone here have any experience of this group? I'm sure that they won't all just laugh at me, but any prior knowledge would be good.
B/ As I have mentioned alse where, my wife is not at all accomadating to my "hobby" so I don't think she would approve if I said where I was going, I wonder if I am better off just saying I'm going to meet some friends at the pub?
The benifit of your experiences woudl be much appreciated. Then I only have to worry about what to wear.

Geri Robinson · Post by **Geri Robinson** » Sun Jan 16, 2011 10:27 pm

Paula,
My first encounter with a group was a Tri Ess group and yes I was so nervous but I decided to go through with it anyway. I went dressed en femm was greeted with open arms, never did I feel put on the spot. Enjoyed the whole evening. I would guess the same would be waiting for you however you decided to dress. As for the Misses, I would air on the side of honesty. Maybe it could be just some friends at a pub?

Paula G · Post by **Paula G** » Wed Feb 09, 2011 4:19 am

Well I am definately going, it's this Saturday, I've told the family I'm meetin some friends for a drink, next questions are what to wear, when and where to get changed, and what do I say if I meet someone I know there?

Post by **DonnaT** » Wed Feb 09, 2011 6:07 am

How many people do you know that would be going to a gay pub?

Besides, it's a lesbian run club anyway. Croydon Bird in Hand.

There is a spacious disabled loo with good lighting and mirrors where, those who want to, can change which the staff at the pub are completely fine about. If you have not been to a Trans get together before, and perhaps feel a little nervous, you are welcome to come along dressed as whichever gender you are more comfortable as for the first time if you prefer.

Say hello to Julliette Preece for me. She may be late, if she makes it.

http://maps.google.co.uk/maps?f=q&sourc ... 22,,0,3.88

The address of the pub is The Bird in Hand, 291 Sydenham Road, Croydon. CR0 2EL. It is located immediately after the hump back railway bridge on the left hand side coming from East Croydon (SEE MAP). The Bird In Hand also has it's own Website and Facebook page in case you would like to find out more about the pub. Parking is easy either on the pub forecourt or along the road outside. It is only about a 5 minute walk from Selhurst BR and 10-15 minute walk from East Croydon train station.

Susan · Post by **Susan** » Wed Feb 09, 2011 8:12 am

Donna

Thanks for helping Paula, I have never been down there - its over 200 miles from where I live so I was unable to give any advice.

Paula

You have a great time. Relax and enjoy the evening. I promise you you will blend in just fine. I for one am looking forward to your report and some pictures.

Best wishes

Paula G · Post by **Paula G** » Wed Feb 09, 2011 7:45 pm

Donna, I met my wife while we were both working behind the bar at The Ship, a local Pub, the landlady at that time was gay, and used to take some of the staff over to the "Bird" on thier night off - nothing sinister just for a drink - well, while that was over 18 years ago you never know, I also know that there are a few members of local bands and orchestras I have played in over the years who are gay, but maybe more to the point what if I find my (male) vicar, or a neighbour there in a dress, then who would be most embarrassed? But if they are there, then I guess it would be a case of "I won't tell if you don't"

This is of course highly unlikely, after all I have often heard it said that about 1 in 100 people cross dress, so in most of the groups I have been involved - bands, orchestras, churches, rugby clubs etc, I have always assumed that I alone was the one percent. But wouldn't it be weird to walk in to find someone I used to play Rugby with was also a cross dresser. I expect that that is why so many of us tend to "play away from home"

What ever happens now I have made the decision to go, I am looking forward to saturday evening, and promise to give a full(ish) report, and, Susan since it is all about cross dressers I expect that there will be plenty of photos

Paula G · Post by **Paula G** » Sun Feb 13, 2011 4:38 am

I have managed to let a lot of what should be on this stream migrate over to http://crossdressers-haven.com/forums/v ... 543#141543 I have put up a bit of report there already. Haveing now been to my first support group meeting I think the "Fun stuff to do while CD" is a better place!

It was interesting to go into oa small Pub on a Croydon side street to be greeted with "How do you know Donna?" this made e think what a small world, then as the evening went on I started to think about how many of us there are, and well if there are so many what are we frightened of? why can't we make ourselves accepted?

Sorry I'm not realy the campaigning type, and family committments make it difficult to be fully out locally (for my SOs sake) but I think I will try to be more active. I suppose since our central aim is not to be identified as cross dressers at all but as women means that if we are succeeding then we are invisible, but how many of us can realy pass ( no question mark since this is a hypathetical stream of consiciousness sort of thing brought on by too much time in a short skirt and to little in bed

Post by **DonnaT** » Sun Feb 13, 2011 6:44 am

Congrats on your first meet up.

One of the problems with being out and getting accepted, is the getting out. As you mentioned, family is one consideration. Then there's job security, housing, etc., since there are not many laws protecting crossdressers (gender expression).