En femme at the nail salon

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

As mentioned, I no longer write about most of my outings, but this one counts as "special."

I've been getting manicures and pedicures at a local salon for about a year now -- and yes that does include getting color on my toes -- and the nail techs not only know about my crossdressing but always want to know if I've got new photos. Last time, one of them asked when they were going to see me en femme, so....

Two weekends ago I came en femme. Some of the reactions were priceless. I did get a bit of a second-take at the reception desk -- but that's OK because while I blend in crowd, I don't have any illusions about being mistaken for female in up-close interaction.

One of the nail techs, Cammie, came out because it was time for my appointment and it tok her a minute to recognize me -- then was "OMG!" Unfortunately, she tipped off the others, so I wasn't able to get their candid reactions. (One of the hair stylists also told me she didn't recognize me until she stared at me for a minute.)

There was a woman in her 20s getting a manicure, who did a brief double-take initially, but then treated it as no big deal. The nail techs wanted to know if I did my own make-up -- and they were oohing and ahhing over it once I told them that yes I did. (Personally, I still think I've got a bit to learn, but it's not the first time I've gotten compliments on it.) The other woman commented that she'd never really learned to do make-up herself. I replied that I wasn't born knowing it either, it was just a matter of practice, if she cared to learn.

So it just like another day at the nail salon with all of us chatting. Sally, one of the other techs, commented that she kept forgetting I wasn't a woman. Another tech Chrissie -- who in the past had asked all sort of friendly questions -- said she missed having me in guy mode. I told not to worry, I took requests so I could come back en homme next month. Chrissie mentioned that maybe I could alternate.

The first woman and left another client, Krystal, came in to fix a broken nail. She didn't bat an eye, but she'd been there before when I'd talked about my crossdressing. Then came the thing I totally didn't expect -- I got upstaged by Krystal! I'm not sure how they got on the topic, but Krystal started showing Chrissie some dirty pictures and animations (such as Fred and Wilma like you'd never seen them on TV) that were on her cell phone. Pretty soon, several of the other hairstylists were coming over to take a look and asking Krystal to forward them to their phones.

I'd made the mistake of wearing closed-toe shoes, so I had to wait around about 30 minutes for the polish to fully dry (and I still got a smudge, grrr). In that time Krystal left and a mother came in with her twin nine-year-old daughters, who were having a birthday pedicure. I got a little nervous, knowing moms can get protective of their children, but if she noticed that I was a guy in dress, she didn't let on. (The two girls did sneak an occasional peek in my direction.) However, I would've loved to have been a fly on the wall after I left... Guess I'll find out next time.

Standard disclaimer: Going out of the house was right for me, it may or may not be right for you. If you've got no desire to leave the house, that's fine, I'm not trying to push you out the door. But for those who've been yearning to do so, I just want to let you the world may not be as scary a place as you think.

[S. Lisa Smith]

Great outting! I enjoy hearing about your trips. I expect that you pass better than you think you do. It's more about additude than physical appearence (and yours appears great!). Just go to any Walmart on any weekend, the variation of women is soooo large (as are are some of the women), most of us would fit right in without a second glance.

[Virginia]

Hi Marlena,
Not wishing to coop your thread and I too love to read about my sister's who go forth and "BE."
I have a problem with my nails in that they seem to grow irratically, the thumbs are nice, fairly long, strong and filed to a nice shape and very firm. The others seem to spilt and crack and break-off before I can get any length to them. I have never been to a salon as I have heard that "silk wraps" and other things they do althought they look good can damage your real nails and make them difficult to work with. I have been using Sally Hansen's various "nail enhancements" and they seem to help somewhat, but for me the bottom line is that since our hands seem to be our biggest "give away" it is an area that we need to concentrate on and it is the hardest to work with. A lot of us end up putting our hands where they don't belong and breaking nails. I know I get really upset anymore when I "break a nail!" Yeah, I know "its a girl thing" and I love it!
Anyone found any over the counter stuff that you have had any luck with?
Love ya,
Virginia

[KimberlyS]

Marlena, I just love your posts. They are so realistic and just normally out and about doing standard daily tasks.

...I came en femme. Some of the reactions were priceless. I did get a bit of a second-take at the reception desk -- but that's OK because while I blend in crowd, I don't have any illusions about being mistaken for female in up-close interaction.

You have such a great attitude to be out. To "Blend in" and not to completely "Pass" like so many try for and think they need to do. I also try to blend in when I go out. For those that may not understand "Blending in", for me, I try not to stick out. So when people do see me I am just another person in the crowd.

...The nail techs wanted to know if I did my own make-up -- and they were oohing and ahhing over it once I told them that yes I did. (Personally, I still think I've got a bit to learn, but it's not the first time I've gotten compliments on it.) The other woman commented that she'd never really learned to do make-up herself. I replied that I wasn't born knowing it either, it was just a matter of practice, if she cared to learn.

I think it is great that you are out and do not think you are doing a perfect presentation and makeup. Most GG's do not look perfect every time they go out. My wife will often say something like. Just a little makeup to look a little more presentable and put together. Most GG's do not have the perfect going to the prom or wedding look every time they go out.

...Krystal left and a mother came in with her twin nine-year-old daughters, who were having a birthday pedicure. I got a little nervous, knowing moms can get protective of their children, but if she noticed that I was a guy in dress, she didn't let on. (The two girls did sneak an occasional peek in my direction.) However, I would've loved to have been a fly on the wall after I left... Guess I'll find out next time.

Ah yes the Mothers with young kids. Any mother, animal or human, protecting their young from any perceived danger can be very mean. But I think that you handled it the best way. Staying calm and just going about your business and out of theirs. I have been in malls with families and just going about my business and being in a blending look draws little to no attention. But as with you, the little nervousness is there reminding me to keep things calm and keep interaction to a very minimum. And I would love to hear an update if you have a story when you go next time about the mother or kids reaction.

... Standard disclaimer: Going out of the house was right for me, it may or may not be right for you. If you've got no desire to leave the house, that's fine, I'm not trying to push you out the door. But for those who've been yearning to do so, I just want to let you the world may not be as scary a place as you think.

Marlena, I think your "Standard disclaimer" is the best part of this post. IMHO too many CDers are pushed or feel pushed by others to get out. If one is happy with dressing around home and do not want more, I think they just need to be themselves and stay home. Actually most of the time I am ok with CDing around home or doing my daily mix of male and unisex femme attire. I think a lot of CDers spend too much energy on thinking they want to go out and worry about getting the perfect "Passing" look before they can get out. I think there are many CDers that could benefit from just deciding to not go out and just enjoy their CDing at home or in a private group setting such as a support group.

I am glad you had a good outing and you seem to have enjoyable outings. I personally look at my outings not just as a way I can get out and be. But also as a way to give others a positive exposure to the TG/CDing community where they just see me and either know or question me as a male in femme clothes or we actually have up close or verbal interaction and the know for sure. Like you, I am not standing on a corner and waving my hands and telling everyone I am a CDer to help the acceptance of CD/TG's. But I figure I can do my little part, often one or two people at a time just be giving them positive exposure to a CDer.

KimberlyS-Cd
Joe in a skirt

[KimberlyS]

Lisa, I agree very much so with you:

... I expect that you pass better than you think you do. It's more about attitude than physical appearance (and yours appears great!). Just go to any Walmart on any weekend, the variation of women is soooo large (are are some of the women), most of us would fit right in without a second glance.

I think we all "pass", blend, meet some level of acceptance, are ignored or are just not noticed, a lot more that we think we do.

And I strongly agree being out is more about attitude and than physical appearance. Act like a shopper, you are. Act like you are going out to eat, and you are treated like a customer. Act like you are just getting your nails done, you are a client.

KimberlyS-Cd
Joe in a skirt

[Karren Hutton]

So this is where you've been hiding, Marlena.. You always have sooo much fun out, girl!! And of coarse you reside in an area that is just the greatest for that!! Lucky girl!!

I've never had my nails done.... Sigh...

Love Karren

[Ronnie M]

since I have not had this opportunity,...I'll live my thrills through your story.

thank you for sharing. it gives me hope.

ronnie in Wi