Have you ever PURGED?

Michelle Miller · Post by **Michelle Miller** » Fri Sep 26, 2008 9:23 am

Yes, I have...but I don't plan to again. The wife's told me it's too expensive to keep replacing it, and besides, I think we'd go broke replacing my closet now.

Stephanie H · Post by **Stephanie H** » Mon Sep 29, 2008 11:57 am

About 15 yrs ago when I returned from a business trip and brought the wrong suitcase into the house.
Was instructed to remove and get rid if the items.
Was I upset over discarding the items, you bet, but the SO was more upset. We still do not discuss that evening

DianeCD · Post by **DianeCD** » Fri Oct 03, 2008 6:23 pm

Only once and that was 33 years ago. I got rid of everything. About two weeks later, the urge returned and I had to go on another shopping spree to re-stock. It bugged me later, as I had tossed some very nice dresses, not to mention some wonderful lingerie (bras, girdles and slips). Ever since then, if anything gets tossed, it is because I just plain wore it out!!

Marjory · Post by **Marjory** » Fri Oct 03, 2008 8:33 pm

10 years ago when I moved to the west coast. I had to get rid of everything.

I had a large collection of Capezio flats from the late fifties through the 1960's. I really hated getting rid of them.

Usually, as things went out of style and I got older my wardrobe changed with the times and Goodwill got some very expensive clothes and shoes.
I slowly rebuilding my wardrobe again.

Marjory

Stephanie Stephens · Post by **Stephanie Stephens** » Fri Dec 19, 2008 9:40 am

The last time I purged I tossed out all of my male panties.

Erin L · Post by **Erin L** » Fri Dec 19, 2008 10:13 am

I can't count the number of times I've purged. Sometimes, there were only a few items, and a few times there were substantial amounts. The last time I purged was two years ago, and that was the largest ever.

When I made the decision a short while back that I still needed to dress, I resisted buying things of my own because I knew I would someday purge again. But then my wife found some of her things that I had borrowed in my dresser drawers when reorganizing. She said nothing about it, and, as I posted in another thread, I have to assume that she has put it down to either a laundry error or me working off some of the incredible stress I've been under. So, I went on a small shopping spree and found a better hiding place.

I know I'm going to buy more things. But this time, I don't think I'm going to purge. There's no point to it.

Jillian · Post by **Jillian** » Tue Dec 30, 2008 11:13 am

Once. My girlfriend once bought me a bunch of panties to wear in the bedroom. When the relationship ended, I tossed all that stuff out.

Now I buy stuff for myself and attempt not to attach sentimental memories to articles of clothing. And I'll never purge again. Potential mates can choose to deal with it or not.

Katyana · Post by **Katyana** » Thu Jan 08, 2009 10:11 am

Yes I have purged. Then, after I came out to my SO, it became just boxing it all up and placing my things in the basement, the "Out of sight, out of mind" tactic. Needless to say that worked about as well as purging did

Kimberly Kael · Post by **Kimberly Kael** » Thu Jan 08, 2009 10:35 pm

I've never purged, but then I've never had the strong feelings of guilt that many associate with their cross-dressing. I've certainly been unsure how to interpret the desires, and certainly afraid of being "discovered" by people who wouldn't understand. Somehow, though, I was always pretty good at accepting what little I understood about my feminine choices.

The times I have gotten rid of clothing it was more about eliminating things I'd bought that didn't fit, were of poor construction, or otherwise just the same kind of pruning any woman might do with her own wardrobe (exaggerated by buying so many things without trying them on first, at least up until the last year or two.)

April Rose · Post by **April Rose** » Thu Jan 08, 2009 11:13 pm

I have purged several times, as seems to be the common experience. The only one that is worth mentioning is the last time. I had gone through a course of Jungian therapy, thinking I needed to work on my gender identity issues. My therapist was a wonderful and wise woman, who eventually got me to see that Yep, I had gender identity issues all right, and I probably always would, but I also had a real problem and that was that I needed to grow the ***** up. My wife had been making baby proposals. My resistance melted and in no time we were expecting. I was in Fatherman mode now and decided that I would stop cross dressing until I was sure it wouldn't have a negative impact on my family. Being a convinced jungian by that time I knew I couldn't just throw everything out. This situation called for a spiritual ritual. I won"t go much into the details; they are between me and the universe, but they involved dance,and meditation, and culminated with me, in a favorite green dress that my wife had made, sitting , painting a picture of my feminine self. I then took off the dress and placed it with my other things, cleaned and folded in a bag for the salvation army. I then painted over the image with an abstract red snake,representing the sacred energy, the kundalini associated with the spine in yoga.

Did I never dress again? I never intended it so. What it did do was let me take a break from the gender wars when I needed to, without the guilt, shame and depression that was associated with all the previous purges.

I have read a lot of sensible advice about not throwing out clothes. What I say is; make sure you keep yourself.

Kyra · Post by **Kyra** » Sun Jan 11, 2009 1:21 pm

Wow, I can't believe as old as this thread is, that I never saw it.

Yes, I have purged in the past, but I'm happy to say that it will not happen again. My last purge (mid to late 2004) strained me to the breaking point. Someone here said it was a violent act. I couldn't agree more. I'll never put myself or those I love in that situation again.

If you think about it, it's foolish to deny oneself that which is an inherent part of one's being. (i.e.- "I don't like the wart on my hand, so I'll cut off my arm.) It's extreme and painful, and as we've seen time and time again, it just doesn't work.

I hope this thread helps anyone who is thinking of "purging". Just don't do it. It's not a cure-all answer.

Regards,
Kyra

Erin L · Post by **Erin L** » Sun Jan 11, 2009 10:38 pm

Kyra, while I agree with you, I would never say to someone, "Don't purge." I have found that there are very few, if any, absolutes in all of this. And sometimes, the process of purging and later returning is a journey of discovery of who we are.

Kyra · Post by **Kyra** » Mon Jan 12, 2009 4:05 pm

You're right, Erin. There are no absolutes. I suppose there are certain circumstances that I'm just not aware of where "purging" would be an advantage.

I just feel very strongly against it.

Regards,
Kyra

Willie W · Post by **Willie W** » Fri Jan 23, 2009 9:58 am

I only purge when I run out of storage space. And then I only get rid of items that are damaged or don't fit quite right. Once in a while I get rid of duplicate items.

Diannna · Post by **Diannna** » Fri Jan 23, 2009 3:36 pm

While I personally have never purged, my X one day long time ago threw everything I had out. While heart broken, bewiltered and some what angry, I never made mention to her about it. Needless to say the marriage didn't last much beyond that, and it really wasn't for the above reason. Now I'm in another relationship and she fully supports me. However, I have so many clothes that she asked if it might be time if she were to help me sort through everything and get rid of a lot of stuff that I don't need.