Stephanie Gets Her Wings – My experience Flying and Crossing the U.S Border Enfemme
THE PREP - The thought of taking to the skies in femme mode has been a common theme I’ve run across many times on message forums such as this. While this has always been something I’d dreamed of doing as one of the pinnacles of my transgender life, I’d always seen this as something reserved for only the bravest among us. Firstly because we need to be totally comfortable with ourselves, and secondly, because we need to be prepared to be subjected to the utmost scrutiny from people in positions of power, which in rare cases, could potentially lead to us being outed should any problems arise. Not for the faint of heart for sure! However, balancing that prospect with the fact that we aren’t doing anything illegal and are entitled to present in whatever gender we’re most comfortable, it made me more determined to find a way through my anxiety and see whether I could actually do it.
Once I had made my decision, I spent a few months researching everything I could find on other people’s flying experiences through these types of online forums and through various website articles. The good news was that 98% of the experiences I read about were positive! However, it’s that other 2% that usually sticks in our minds right? Why is that? Well, simply because it’s our fragile human nature to focus on the negative isn’t it? Invariably, we assume the worst if anyone gives us a second look on the street, rather than accept they might have just been admiring us or our outfit. Unfortunately, the negative is what keeps us from moving forward in life. We need to realize that the overwhelmingly positive experiences are becoming the norm these days and that's good. Those positive experiences should be our motivation to get out there and do whatever and just be ourselves. That’s what I would stay focused on.
So, as I read through all that advice from those who have flown before, three basic rules kept coming up, namely;
1. Always be honest in answering questions and never try to lie. You will be found out!
2. Ensure you carry valid Government issued photo ID
3. The name on your airline ticket MUST match the name on your Government issued photo ID or you will be denied a boarding pass.
These are all true regardless of how you’re dressed and is basic common sense. However, being dressed can take us out of our comfort zone sometimes and nerves in any stressful situation can bring more attention than we might anticipate or want. In this post 911 world, airlines and airport security have every reason to be extra diligent, so any additional checks or scrutiny are essentially measures designed to keep us all safe and should be seen as just that, rather than an excuse to be intrusive. That’s often hard for people to accept but it is the reality of the world we live in now.
Once you get past this, it doesn’t hurt to do what you can to mentally prepare yourself and be ready to answer even the most intrusive questions should you run into an overzealous airline agent or security person. As I said, just tell the truth and you can’t go wrong. It’s your right to be treated fairly, with respect, and with dignity. If you have any problems, you are entitled to speak to a supervisor.
For my preparation, I wanted to see if the airline (Air Canada in my case) as well as the Canadian Air Transport Security Authority (CATSA) had any kind of written policy for dealing with transgender passengers. I forwarded my question online via their respective websites.
The first reply I received was from an Air Canada customer service representative who turned out to be extremely helpful and understanding of our ‘dilemma’. After following up with her supervisor, she informed me there isn’t any official policy regarding TG passengers and they conceded it was a grey area. However, I was assured that as long as they could tell I was the same person in my presented photo ID, there shouldn’t be a problem. Hmm…that might not be so easy if we happen to look nothing like our male picture, so I followed up asking what their criterion was to determine that. We exchanged more emails with my follow up questions as I tried to get more assurances that I would be OK. Eventually we ended up speaking on the phone which was very helpful as she said she would make a note on my passenger file so the check-in agent would be aware. That was a good first step.
The reply I received from CATSA was essentially the same, saying they had no problem with my choice of presentation provided they satisfy themselves that my male ID picture and the person in front of them was the same person. As is routine, they said I could be subject to a random search (as anyone would be) and had the right to request a female employee do the search if I was selected for additional screening. I was assured that the security personnel are all trained to deal with us and we could expect to be treated professionally at all times. Obviously, any attempt to hide anything will be dealt with appropriately regardless of how you are dressed so make sure you follow the standard guidelines about what you can take with you in your carry-on bag and/or purse. (see links below for more information)
For those of you who travel frequently you know that getting through the metal detector depends on making sure you have put all your metal objects into the bins for the x-ray machine. Anything with metal that you can take off should be removed first. Avoid wearing corsets or other garments with metal in them which may cause you unnecessary scrutiny and delays. For underwire bras, I have heard people getting through ok while others have set off the alarms, so it seems to depend on the sensitivity of the detector. I chose not to wear an underwire bra for my trip. Wearing your forms is permitted under the CATSA guidelines but taking them in your carry-on may or may not be permitted due the liquid restrictions. The best advice is to pack them in your checked luggage if you’re not wearing them.
I saved the email correspondence from my Air Canada and CATSA representatives which I printed up to include with my travel documents just in case.
During my conversation with my Air Canada rep, she had suggested I could get a letter from my doctor to say I was transitioning or a letter from a lawyer swearing an affidavit that my male name and Stephanie were one and the same. As I wasn’t ready to out myself to my doctor or contemplating transition, I decided to follow up on the latter option. I contacted a family lawyer after researching lawyers in my area and found a lady who had worked with the GLBT community before. I explained what I wanted to do and we set up a meeting the following week. Seeing as it had to do with my identity, I asked how she would like me to present myself. She simply said, be yourself! So Stephanie met with her for an initial ½ hour consultation that ended up lasting for over two hours as we chatted about all kinds of things. She was very accommodating and said she would be happy to assist others anytime.
My affidavit stated that Stephanie Williams and the person named in my passport and other photo ID’s such as my driver’s license, are one and the same. She also attached copies of my male ID and any cards with both my male and femme name on them as part of the document. Once I had this in hand, I felt a lot more confident that my upcoming travel experience should be OK. Let’s hope so!
Coincidently, I had to renew my passport right after that and once I received it a few weeks later, it was just a matter of counting the days.
I was also able to obtain a letter from the counsellor of a TG support group I attended just before leaving. It was a standard letter of support which stated the fact that I was TG and was required to present as female as part of the long ‘transition’ process.
The following are some useful links which will provide the most up-to-date information.
(CANADA) Canadian Air Transport Security Authority (CATSA) – Identity Screening - http://www.passengerprotect.gc.ca/identity.html
(CANADA) Canadian Air Transport Security Authority (CATSA) – Carry-on Items - http://www.catsa-acsta.gc.ca/english/tr ... list.shtml
(US) Transportation Security Administration (TSA) - http://www.tsa.gov/travelers/airtravel/ ... ience.shtm
National Centre for Gender Equality – Air Travel Tips for TG People http://www.nctequality.org/Resources/airtravel.pdf
THE EXPERIENCE - For our trip to Port Angeles, Washington, we were scheduled on a direct flight from Toronto to Victoria, BC, staying overnight there and then take the Coho Ferry from Victoria to Port Angeles the next day. It’s worth mentioning that I wasn’t taking any male clothes at all. If I ran into any problems, so be it. I would have to deal with them as Stephanie.
As if I didn’t have enough to think about, choosing what to wear for the flight is not as straightforward as you might think. During my earlier research, I ran across numerous articles out there covering everything from what not to wear on a plane (everything from safety reasons to clothing the airline considers inappropriate) to what is most comfortable for a long flight, or in a potentially cool cabin, or getting through security. I have mentioned some suggestions already, but generally speaking, just choosing something to ‘fit in’ is a good rule of thumb. Remember, we aren’t looking for attention. Whether that means a comfortable pair of slacks and a nice top or a skirt and blouse, it’s up to you. These days of course, most women opt for comfort which is usually pants, but regardless, I wanted to wear a skirt. As it turned out, I counted about 10 women of the 250 or so passengers on our flight in a skirt or dress which was enough for me not to really stand out.
AT THE AIRPORT (Toronto) Once we arrived at the airport, we went straight to the Air Canada check-in. If you aren’t checking any luggage and want to minimize your face to face contact with people, you have the option of using the automatic check-in machines for your boarding pass. As we had luggage, we had to deal with an agent which was OK. Actually, I was feeling a lot more relaxed than I thought I would.
CHECK-IN - As we had gotten there early, the line up and wait time wasn’t too long. They also had luggage weigh scales in the waiting area which is really useful to make any adjustments if the weight is over the limit. This saves you the embarrassment of having to do it in front of the lineup behind you.
When it was our turn, we handed the agent our electronic tickets (which we got when we booked online) and went through the usual check-in process. She just checked our passports and ticket (which was in my male name) and handed us our boarding passes, no questions asked. As my companion had booked separately, she did apologize for not being able to seat us together but wished us a pleasant flight and that was it, our first hurdle over.
As we had some time to kill before going through security, we spent the time in the bar just talking about our experience and seeing the humour in what could happen if we had any problems. A nice way to ease those nerves which had crept in by the time we had got to the security checkpoint.
AIRPORT SECURITY - When we got there, it wasn’t busy at all so we each took a different line. On my side were three young women working there who seemed to be in a good mood and very pleasant. Telling me to make sure I put my shoes, all my jewelry and anything that might make the machine beep into the box, along with my purse and carry-on. As I did so, one of them smiled and said you probably have a belt on under that top (which I did but had forgotten about). She was really friendly and very professional. Taking that off and handing it to her, she put it through as I proceeded to walk through the metal detector. A fourth gal who was working the detector had this strange look on her face as she checked me over with her electronic ‘wand’. I think she was more nervous than I was which I found quietly amusing. She did get one beep which was just the metal zipper on my skirt which I showed her. She continued checking me over before coming back to that same spot and another beep. I told her it was the zipper again and showed her, but I think she was just using that as an excuse to check me out as her face was a picture. This only took about half a minute and after satisfying her that I was a safe traveler, I went to retrieve my purse and carry on. One of the security gals was holding a bottle of nail polish remover she had taken from my bag and said I can’t take that with me. It was about 25ml over the limit but said, rules are rules. I smiled and said I hoped she could use it as it was a new bottle. She said she wished she could but they have to throw everything away unfortunately. No biggie as I was only out about $2.50. I said goodbye and we were through. Again, pretty painless and hurdle number two over and my confidence was soaring at this point even before we were up in the air!
When we arrived in the departure lounge, we took our seats as we waited for the announcement for our flight. There were lots of people around now, but no looks or anything out of the ordinary. When they finally called our seat numbers, they asked all passengers to have their boarding pass and photo ID ready. I had my passport open at my (male) picture with boarding pass on top. They just took my pass, with barely a glance at the passport (not taking it from me) and I was easily through.
ON THE FLIGHT - When I arrived at the plane, the flight attendant smiled and welcomed us aboard. My companion and I were seated apart but in the middle seat of the same row on opposite sides of the aisle which meant we both had somebody either side of us. I was feeling pretty relaxed by now so didn’t worry about that as the other passengers took their seats around us.
I had an older lady seated to my right and an empty window seat to my left. My girlfriend had a lady to her left and a young mom with a baby to her right. This should be interesting I thought, but Stef offered to help Mom if she needed assistance. No one gave us any strange looks and everyone was very polite and courteous which was great. Just before takeoff, Stef had asked an attendant about switching seats which would also give the mom and her baby more room as well as seating us together, which they did.
With the roar of the engines, we were soon airborne and I was enjoying my first flight enfemme. It was awesome! We got chatting to the lady next to me and had a great conversation all the way to Victoria. It was a five hour flight with no problems or weird looks from anybody at all, even when I had to use the washroom which usually gives everyone a chance to watch you. The experience couldn’t have been better!
The beautiful scenery over the Rockies and islands off the coast of Vancouver on our approach to Victoria, was amazing. After we landed, the flight attendant hastily announced that it looks like we would have to leave using the stairs they were wheeling to the plane instead of the usual closed walkway. That was fine as it gave me an opportunity for a souvenir picture with our plane.
BAGGAGE RECLAIM - This was my first time at Victoria airport and it was much smaller than I expected but we found our luggage ok. I did have to quickly retrieve one of my cases from a guy who had already loaded it onto a cart thinking it was his. He apologized but the thought of the look on his face if he had opened it would have been funny to see, although I wouldn’t have been laughing having lost half my clothes. The irony of suddenly acquiring a suitcase full of male clothes wasn’t lost on me either.
With a seventeen mile drive to our hotel in downtown Victoria, we boarded the shuttle for the scenic ride in. After checking into the hotel and freshening up, we took a nice stroll around Victoria Harbour and onto a restaurant for dinner. A perfect end to an amazing day!
U.S. CUSTOMS - After breakfast the next morning, we took the short stroll to the ferry terminal. We had already bought our tickets online which required using our male names and passport numbers but no problems there. As expected, we had to clear U.S customs prior to boarding the ferry and waited in line for our turn. We had to go to separate customs officers and the lady dealing with me was very pleasant, asking only a few routine questions such as where I was going and the purpose of my trip. When I told her I was going to the Esprit convention, she knew about it and just said have a great time. It was as simple as that.
The ferry crossing which took about an hour was great with some more fantastic scenery to look at as we relaxed on the main deck. I took a walk around the outside deck but the wind out on the open water made being inside a little more comfortable. When we docked in Port Angeles, we had to clear another checkpoint which I hadn’t expected. Taking our place in line, we waited to be called which wasn’t too long. Again, just a few more routine questions. This time though, the customs inspector was more embarrassed that we were when he asked if we were bringing anything into the country that we planned to leave behind. My travel companion began to list all the things she had in her case such as lingerie, dresses, makeup etc. He then said, “let me repeat my question” and asked again as his face was a nice shade of red. A moment later he just said go on through. We laughed about that all the way to the hotel.
So the outward bound trip was great with no problems at all and we never had to show any of the documents I had or answer any difficult questions. Totally uneventful and everything I had hoped for.
HOMEWARD BOUND - The return trip was also uneventful and another great experience. This time, after we got the ferry from Port Angeles back to Victoria, we would be staying overnight again, then taking a short flight to Vancouver and another flight from there to Toronto.
We shared our ferry ride back to Victoria with a couple of other gals from Esprit and chatted about our wonderful experiences there. In Victoria, we said our goodbyes and waited in line to go through Canada Customs. The customs officer just asked us a few routine questions and we were through. It couldn’t have been simpler.
That evening we met up with Karen, one of our forum regulars who had been to Esprit before but couldn’t make it this year. We enjoyed a nice dinner and conversation and getting to know each other a little before it was time to say goodbye.
The next morning, we spent a little time shuffling things around in our cases and trying to figure out whether we would be ok or not with the extra weight we had acquired during our stay. A short time later, the shuttle picked us up from our hotel for the ride back to the airport. This happened to be Victoria Day and the big parade was about to get underway. It would have been nice to have stayed to watch it but if we didn’t get out when we did, we would have been stranded as the roads all around were about to be closed.
Check-in at Victoria airport was good except as we held our breath watching the weigh scale climbing. Luckily, we were spot on the weight limit with all our cases. Don’t ask me how but if I had added even a safety pin, it would have put us over!
The only question I got was when the pretty agent, reading from my passport asked me “are you the passenger named (just my legal last name)” I answered yes and she handed me my boarding pass. Whether she was confused or not, I thought that was a very professional way to ask. Stef was actually booked on different flights home so she had to be put on standby in the hope she could get on my flights if there was room. She lucked out both times and each flight was great with no problems at all. We met three girls on their way to New York who kept us company en route to Vancouver.
To get to our connecting flight in Vancouver, we had to walk a ways to the departure gate which wasn’t easy to find. We stopped to ask a couple of airport workers where we could find the gate. One of them answered, “That way sir” not specifically addressing either one of us. Hearing this, I turned to him and just glared at him and said…”Sir?” He soon realized his mistake and quickly corrected himself. I just put that down to ignorance and probably unintentional as he looked quite embarrassed. Anyway, we found our gate and waited for boarding.
After calling out our seat numbers, we went through the final checkpoint without any problems. Just before we took off, it was musical chairs again as a kind gentleman offered to exchange seats with me so I could sit near to my travel buddy. I was one seat away which was taken by a gal who barely made it onto the plane before we took off. I think she was regretting her tardiness, because despite our friendly introductions, she had no interest in talking with us, probably wondering, “why me”. Well, you can’t win ‘em all!
The five hour flight was great, and again, no reactions or strange looks from anyone. Our mutual seatmate kept herself occupied with the in-flight movies as I just relaxed taking it all in. The flight attendant looking after me was very courteous, calling me ma’am whenever she came by with drinks or snacks. That really felt good.
Once we landed back in Toronto, we took our time getting to the baggage claim area. Although the baggage claim area was pretty crowded, we found everything ok and Stef’s wife was there to meet us for the ride home.
It was the most amazing experience I’ve had as Stephanie and I look forward to doing it again soon. It’s worth noting that this was an in-Canada flight so an experience flying directly to the U.S or another country may be different. However, I have no qualms about doing that next time I’m heading Stateside for some girl fun.
With the new U.S border requirements that kicked in on June 1st of this year, you will need a passport or enhanced driver’s licence for a road crossing or a passport for air travel. As long as you answer the questions truthfully, you shouldn’t have a problem. Have fun and look forward to seeing more of us join the TG flying club.
Stephanie
