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SL and I are putting a deck on the house. Of course that led to having to remove the vinyl siding and replacing it with what is technically referred to as T1-11RS siding (don't ask ) During the course of this reconstruction my hand drill finally gave out, but after rebuilding five HUD houses and numerous other tasks, I guess it was time (Bosch - great drill!) So I found a replacement on sale at Lowe's and brought it home. Inside the case were the instructions. Well, here goes!

They unfolded to the size of a road map. The instructions actually had instructions on how to refold it - that's one! It was printed in, best I can tell at least six, perhaps seven different languages - that's two. You have to spread it out on the floor to find whatever language you need to read if you don't know how to use a power hand drill - that's three.

Now the fun stuff: The actual directions (not all, but some) and related comments and editorials (from moi! - ):

1. Keep work area clean and well lit! - UH!? guess they are saying don't drill in the dark?
2. Avoid body contact! i.e., don't place drill with bit next to temple and engage?!
3. Do not abuse the cord! Instructions did not specify if that was physical or verbal abuse. Will have to call 800 number to verify that one!
4. Stay alert! Huh? no napping while drilling, when do you get a break?
5. Do not over reach. Your abilities or the drill's?
6. Do not force the power tool. To do what? Commit crimes, slack off, take a vacation? What?
7. Maintain power tools? Brash commercialism = buy more tools!!!!!
8. Use the power tool, accessories and tool bits. Guess it means just don't sit it on the mantel and stare at it.
9. It is recommended to use rubber gloves. Say what? My first interpretation was to take it in for a medical exam to see if it had any communicable diseases!

and finally my personal favorite:

10. Dress Properly: All right ladies - take your best shots at that one!
flats or heels - what height heels "kitten" to what? 5"
How about mini skirts? a bit too much? Short-shorts OK?
knee highs or panty hose with or without garders?

Oh and for what its worth, "This warranty does not apply to products sold in Latin America."

Carry on straight people!

Love ya, and wear eye protection, i.e., shadow, mascara and eye liner!

Virginia

What, you still use a drill with a cord?

What is TR1 11 RS? Actually I really do want to know.

You'd be unpleasantly surprised at how many people would not even be able to follow those instructions, let alone know without being told. Bring back shop class....

Zari

HI Zari,

I can only tell you what I know about the T1. It is a 4'x8' sheet of modified wood panel. It says it is for exterior use if "properly prepared." Which I take to mean it needs to be primed and painted. It has a modified tongue and grove and should take two people to install. We put it across the front of our home last summer and it really looks good. We put two coats of Behr primer and two coats of exterior on it and it cleans up nice too. The cost last year was about $24.00 a sheet this year $30.00 on sale from $34.00.

Hope you are planning a great summer!

Love ya,

Virginia

Virginia,

Your instruction are cute! I got a good laugh out of it.

Thanks,

Erica

Fear not my sister as Carol has tryed that being dress while doing wood work. Never run a bench saw with a wig and a nice outfit on, saw dust plays hell with a wig. So in the house I go for a band danna ( didn't spell that correct) and a shop apron. Hon I don't care how you dress you will be full of wood shaveing

Have fun you two as Carol is still working on finishing her new addition, and then the garden needs planting, and oh ya I still need to paint the house, cut grass and weedeat.

Oh heck it is so much fun to be RETIRED , ok who buys the next round?.

I sell electronics for a living. Twice in recent years I have had licensed technicians return a particular piece of equipment to me because it was lacking two of what they thought was four stand offs to fasten the printed circuit board in the cabinet. When somebody returns something we open up the package and inspect it. The first thing that comes out of the box is the instructions. On the instructions to this particular device, the first sentence of the first paragraph reads: "Slide board into slots in cabinet fastening with two stand offs, supplied". Apparently, they didn't get that far.

These guys are Licensed, mind you.

So, Virginia, I wouldn't worry too much if the instructions are weird. BECAUSE NOBODY EVER READS THEM!!

So Virginia...
You didn't mention what you decided to wear whilst putting up the new siding!
C'mon girl, inquiring miinds want to know!

-or do you want us to use our imaginations.
"...and now our lovely model, Virginia, will demonstrate the proper use of power drills. You'll notice Virginia is wearing a short sleeved top as she doesn't want a loose fitting garment that could get caught by the twisting motion of the drill. She's also wearing conservative heels with an enclosed toe. This will keep the shavings from getting on her feet..."




I have to admit, April's right. (at least in my case) I never look at the instructions for a power tool. If I can't figure out how to work it, I shouldn't have bought it in the first place...right? (yeah, it's a shameless male ego thing.)

Hugs, girlfriend!

After my mother died, and my 30 year old Craftsman circular saw also died, I splurged big-time on a Milwaukee re-manufactured circular saw. A great saw. I'm not impressed with it's plastic carrying case though. It takes me 10 minutes trying every contortion possible, to stuff that contraption back into the case without pinching the cord, and being able to close it. Nothing in the instructions tells how it should go back in the case.

But being dressed appropriately is worthwhile. I wish I had worn goggles in 1976 when drilling a hole in my car's hatchback door from underneath. The metal flake that rusted in my cornea came back to haunt me 20 years later, when I went for an MRI.

Still, I can't help thinking of Heidi on the Tim Taylor Tooltime show. She was always smartly dressed for working with tools.

Hugs,

Bernice

See, Virginia, the health and safety nazis of today can't have someone just pulling their product out of a box and using it, nosirreebob.

They have to cover all their bases, dot their P's & Q's and so on and so forth, to make sure they don't get sued when some idiot out there uses their power drill to do dental work with, or clean their own ears out with a Q-tip at 8000 RPM.