Today, after moments of great time enjoying my feminine side at home, I decided to finally dress up and go out to the club, at least just to settle my mind and get some long needed hands on "in public" experience.
Well I was excited to get ready for this. did the best I could to get my make up right. (which was
terrible btw) Clean dress and clothes, hair all brushed fine, nails painted. All happy until the moment I closed the door behind me and went in my car. Then the "nervous part" of doing this hit me. So, once in the car, it was dark so no neighbors have seen me, which was also a new learning moment... you don't have as much leg movement when getting inside a car with a dress instead of wearing a pence. Then I decided not to go to the beauty store where I purchased most of my beauty supplies, but instead just go to the club. Part of this decision was influenced by me being nervous. So I drove of to downtown Richmond and one of the first things in my mind was "how does a 51 year lady behave when confronted at a red traffic light and man or woman in the car next to you are looking? Well that went okay, one man looked but did not show any "signs", another young girl did not even looked up at all.
Then the club. I was able to park in the same street so I did not had to walk to far. I drove on my day to day shoes, so I replaced them with my 2.5 inch heels when I got out the car. Then I aim at the door of the club to find the most direct way across the street, took a deep breath and I went for it.
Thank goodness there where only about 10 people inside, mostly gay man. After all I did choose to go to a GLBT friendly "gay" bar, since I think that would be my best bet on my first time out. As I opened the door and went inside my nervous really hit me. Of course they all look at me coming in the club, and murphy's law of course I tripped on my heels. I just went straight to the first table across the bar and sit down. Then after a few moments I raced up my face and looked around. Almost all where busy doing there stuff and they did not looked at me, at least so I think. The two man, clearly a couple, on a table next to me looked but no expression, negative or positive. They just pretty much left me for who I am.
The waiter came to me and asked what I liked, so kind of quietly I asked him for a Cola. Then later some chicken tenders, so I had a reason to be occupied and loose some of those nervous. One guy walked up to me and introduced himself, and he told me that he knew I was a guy (no surprise at all to me) and he liked the way I looked and asked me if being feminine on the outside makes me feel any better then feeling feminine on the inside? Good question, I said yes but he could tell I was nervous. Any way he gave me his number and left.
That did broke some of my nervous though, enough to actually stand up and walk to the counter, next to the few other people, and asked the bartender for my bill. The other gay couple greeted me and asked how I was doing, and I told them it was my first day coming out and I was testing the waters for the big moment coming up soon. They where very polite and congratulated me and encouraged me as well. After this moment I pretty much lost all my nervous and I was able to just do as I like. Paid the bill and went to the car, replaced my shoes so I can drive my stick shift car and went straight home.
Now I am ready to take a relaxing bath tub and think it all over in much more detail then what I wrote down.
In all, these couple of hours have been very educating for me.
Erin.
PS Definitely in for a repeat, and NO I did not went out with this guy.
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