Crossdressers-Haven.com

I will get the opportunity to dress and go out alone for the first time to see if I have the nerve to do it alone. I have been out dressed but always in the safty of a support group, nobody payes notice to a bunch of ladys out for dinner or a movie. My mine is spinning as to where I should go, maybe the mall and just walk around and window shop. What to wear? just casual don't want to drew attention. The more I thing about it the more nervice I become. almost as bad as my first solo flight. Carol Ann

Carol Ann , How exciting!!! I would suggest you go somewhere that you know the surroundings and is full of people. The mall is a great place, not on the weekend if you don't want the high school girls attention. The best thing I can tell you is to be calm. Nervousness is a bad give away, I know I've done it. You look very passable in your avatar, don't worry about that. Relax , relax relax, your not doing anything illegal, I am looking forward to hearing of your "solo" expierence with great anticapation. Have a wonderful time and let us know how you felt during your "solo". .....kristen

It can definitely be nerve wracking. My first time was back in the 70's, took a walk around the block, and when I got back the land lady saw me enter the apt., but I don't think she new who it was.

Haven't been out in public since the 70's, but am trying to get my wife to take me out. and never been out with a support group.

Once you can get out of the car at the mall, a good place to go since there is more of a crowd and these people aren't that interested in checking every one out, you'll settle down a bit. And once in the mall, just relax and be yourself. Have fun.

I've had my daughter with me but I've never gone solo

I can understand the nerves but theres nothing to worry about , I hope you have a great time .

Carol first take a deep breath,, OK

You go where-ever you are most comfy. For me it is going out at night to a club. But you go where you like to go. When you go out, if at any time you feel uncomfortable, you can always go back. You're not getting points for how far you can go. Just go as far as you want,, then go back. That is your outing untill next time. Whatever you do have fun and enjoy yourself.
Love Amelie

Carol,

Best of luck I'm sure it will be really cool, you'll have to tell us all about it Maybe you could go shopping for clothes Could take some clothes into the changing room That would be so cool!

*hugs*

Sophie xx

OH, I forgot, I did go out once on Halloween. Went to work dressed enfemme and took the Washington DC Metro in. Didn't even shave my mustache off. No problems from any of the other passangers, maybe because it was Halloween.

Changed back to drab at the Office before anyone came in though.

The first time Calina went out was to the 7-11. I can tell you that was a rush. I have only been out by myself a few times and once with my wife(not wearing a trench coat). Each time I truly had to force myself to calm down because I was ready to flip out. A friend once said, "When I was in the Marines, I dodged bullets. I was more scared the first time I went out in a dress." Those words are true but I think that there is also ways of doing it to reduce the fear. One time I went out in a black pleated skirt, black panyhose, and a black velvet stretch shirt to the gas station. Until I came to the counter, noone really noticed me. When I got there, the clerk did a double take and I told him, in my normal voice, that it was switch day at the City Club(a gothic club in Detriot that I have not been to in years) and he laughed it off. Also I always have the "best excuse" ready if I am ever called on it. "I lost a bet" Ya, ya, I know that is lying and it is not coming to terms with myself enough to be "out" to others, but I just don't have the guts Elizabeth does. Surprisingly, I have never had to use it but it has put me in another mind set where it is easier for me to be out. The last time I went out, it was with my wife and we went to the grocery store, granted it was at 11pm, I think only one person actually stared at me. I really felt like I was under a microscope until I stopped anc looked around. BTW It was the cashier behind the U-SCAN station and I could see her in the reflection of the screen while we were buying our groceries. FYI U-SCAN, a self serve check out, is a girl's best friend because you don't have to talk to anyone. I really do not have a femme voice, so if I am out, I talk really quite. I wish you have a great first time out and remember most people will not even notice.

OK girls tonight is the night, Didn't do it last night as it was Saturday and everybody is out and about on Saturday. Tonight being Sunday I don't believe there will be to many people (I hope). Town is 32 miles away and nobody knows me so if I can get passed the nerves I should be alright. Head up shoulders back lets done it. Carol Ann

Carol Ann, I am just so excited for you, big step going out there on your own. I know that you will be fine as far as being "read " . Your avatar is so fem that I had to make sure you were a cd"r and not a GG when i first got here. So rock on girl , be all that you want to be and don't let anything get in your way. This will be more than a kick for you, I can hardly wait for you to post how great things go for you. ........Kristen

P.S 32 miles from home, but where did you decide to go, a Mall or what?

Hi Carol Ann,

<========Fingers and toes crossed for you. GOOD LUCK!!!!

Love always,
Elizabeth

Thanks Kristen for the wonderful complement but I don't believe I look to good But for 65 it's OK . Well I went to town last evening and the first stop was the walk in postoffice to put the first of the month bills into the mail. No problem as there was only one other person there and she was in the back at her dropbox. I was feeling really good as I walked across the parking lot and the sound of my small heels clicking away. Next I headed to Wal-Mart and parked aways off so I could walk across the lot, Passed people going but when it came time to walk in side I froze and chicken out. So sadly I return to the truck and headed home. So I pull into the gas station to fill up under all those lights and everything was OK ,but again I chicken out and didn't pay inside used my card at the pump. I guess outside of going out with a group I'm not ready to go solo and see and meet people face to face. . I was dress casual nice with a black dress trimmed with gold buttons, 3/4 sleeves and a pair of small heels. In fact I looked nice (in my opinion) . Oh well there is always the next time. Carol Ann

Carol Ann, The nasty little nerve bug got cha. i know what you mean , i was dressed and got up to the Walmart ( lighting in walmart is so harsh)
entrance and did the same chickened out. Heart must of beem puonding pretty hard. Hey it took me 17 tries to get up on water skis, but you just keep trying it does get a little easier. Sounds like you are going to try again good. The nest time i went in Walmart in the morning, i had on cute little panent leaather heels with a litlle strp, i slipped and almost landed on the floor, three employees were walking by and of course they all said are you okay .
How embarrasing
I was truly sincere in what I said about your aavtar, I do not give compliments for just something to say.
You sound almost apoligetic , you did good, you are going to get the face to face thing. You don't just dive into a lake, you always test the water. make sure it's wet.
You've done more than i have eating in a cafe. I would really like to get a meal enfemme, I think that would be a real kick.
I bet it was still fun ? Keep smilin, keep dressin and keep postin.......kristen

Carol Ann, ya Done good girl!!!!!
My first time I went to an afternoon movie matinee. Not crowded, only person you have to converse with it ticket seller and in most cases that through a thick glass, so I just kind of whispered the name of the movie "Cold Mountain." She slid the ticket to me and I walked in, handed it to the guy he tore in in half said "enjoy the movie maam, down the hall, theater four." Cheap entertainment, get to walk acoss a mostly empty parking lot, etc. Just don't go on a week-end, those teenage girls are worse than a "herd of sharks."
Love,
Virginia

Carol Ann,

WOO HOO!!!!!!

That sounds like a fantastic first outting by yourself. I bet you felt great?

I look forward to hearing about you next outting.

Love always,
Elizabeth