Crossdressers-Haven.com

Hi there,

So Goths.. what's the deal? To me you get the coolest clothing, the ability to make black a desirable fashion, great makeup, and a mystique. That so rocks! How'd you get there?

If you are goth (and we have quite a few girls here who are) Why do you think you were born Goth? Like how did you know? I wanted to be, but I ended up just being in awe of the lifestyle, fashion, fun, and mystery. ~~~~~ You usually can't fake Goth. It's attitude too and if you don't have it, oy'.

Sorry for the ramble, but I've been wanting to say this for a while, but end up getting busy and don't remember until I'm away from the computer.

Beauty

ahem . . . I've been a member of a TG/goth forum longer than I've been a member here! Good thread topic. I'll yield the floor now . . .

Hi there,

Ok then Goth Gal One. Answer the questions.

Beauty

Hey Beauty,
I'm kinda like you. A one time Goth Gal wanna be. I tried to dress that way once...and only once. I looked dreadful. I admire and respect those who make the look fashionable.

Hugs,
Kyra

I am sort of Goth. If you go to any goth site you'll find a wide variety of goths, there is no standard look. Just the same as CDs have many different looks and styles. In fact most goths are like CDs, where they don't like using labels. They have the attitude that goth is more of a state of mind rather than a look. But some goths, like myself do like the black clothes and heavily made-up white faces, sort of like death warmed up look.
I evolved into goth. I was a punk before goth came about, I was one of the punks who turned goth when it started in the early eighties. I would really enjoy walking down the street with a bunch of other goths, it would look like a funeral from a Vincent Price movie. We were sort of exibitionist in our look. We wanted to be seen, but we also wanted to be left alone, we were walking oxymorons.
It was sort of like being in a club, that anyone could join if they were into goth. If I saw another goth (girl or boy) on a subway train, I could easily walk up to this strange peson and talk to them. Unlike other people who would be afraid to talk to strangers on a train. There was this understanding between us, a trust, I guess it would be similar if two CDs were to meet somewhere, there was this bond between us.
Just like CDing, there is no true standard or look for goth, but we know one if we see one. I also like being a punk/goth CD, it makes it easier to go out dressed. I sort of confuse the public as to what I am. They can't make out if Im a CD, Goth, GG, they don't know how to react at first look, which gives me a better chance at dressing without to many troubles that other Cds might encounter. I am not saying being goth is trouble free, Just that I find it easier to dress as a goth CD.
Also I love the make-up, I must have dark black eyes and the darkest lipstick. If I wasn't a goth I'd probably be a 1920"s sort of girl. They had the Louise Brooks style hair and similar make-up to goths, the look is very similar to goth.

Alexander,,What is this TG/Goth site you are on? I have never heard of this site. Can you tell me, either on the board or PM me if you like. I would appreciate it. Thanks.

PS-Alexandra, love your "Death" avatar.

Amelie-Laveau wrote: We wanted to be seen, but we also wanted to be left alone, we were walking oxymorons

I think Amelie is on to something . . . perhaps this is why goth-leaning TG girls can deal with being TG or a CD than the average person. Hmm maybe worth a PhD dissertation subject?

I would say that anyone growing up feeling different from everyone else might have a goth attraction at one time or another. Having a favorite color of black helps too.

In the beginning perhaps 1/2 of my girly stuff was black, but you know, I never felt comfortable in those, so now virtually everything I have is either black or very dark blue. In the case of wigs, very dark brown. I don't go overboard with the makeup or piercing. As a male or female I always fit into a goth crowd or a punk rock crowd without getting too uncomfortable.

As for Goth forums, there are a lot of them, but not many specifically geared to the TG -- those don't have much action unfortunately. Still its good to just know there are goth TG sisters out there feeling the same as you do.

Amelie, check your PM!

Honestly I love the look and the attitude. In the past I've gotten very close but never quite fit the whole image. As you say it's not something you can fake. You either are or your aren't.

Love
Tristen

I started to drift into Goth in HS, because I didn't fit anywhere else. Most of my friends were tech nerds or drama geeks, but I was a bit too extreme even for a lot of them. I first discovered it all through some (non-Gothik) friends who recommended the newly-popular Nine Inch Nails and Marilyn Manson to me, I was hooked from there on in. The music was a perfect reflection of everything I felt inside, the pain and the rage and the sick euphoria. Then I started wearing black and trench coats and growing my hair out, because it made me look better than the clothes my mom bought me. Everyone started calling me a 'Goth' and I honestly wasn't quite sure what they meant. I didn't meet most of the other Goths in my city or going to club nights until I was in University. When I did, though, I found I fit in perfectly even though I knew almost nothing about the wider kultur or ideals. I also learned that I do enjoy dancing, as long as it's to the right kind of music...

What's the deal? Hard to say. Ask 10 different Goths what it's all about, and you'll get 20 different answers. To me, it's all about seeing beauty in darkness, seeking out the shadows others avoid, becoming comfortable with them and making them your friends. It's also about freedom. When I started CDing, my Goth friends were the only people I know who accepted it without reservation. As a general group, Goths are the most accepting tolerant people I've met anywhere - even of self-destruction (some might say especially of self-destruction). But you can't stop someone from destroying themself, if they're really bound and determined. The best you can do is look out for each other and do your best to make sure that, when someone goes, they don't take you or anyone you love out with them.

Amelie-Laveau is onto something with that 'walking oxymoron' thing. Our very being invites attention, yet we react violently to intrusive attention; we'll tolerate so many practices that others would revile, but refuse to tolerate control or attacks on us (individually or as a group); many of us are deeply spiritual, but have no use for religion; deeply individualistic, yet also deeply identified with one peer-group; willing to accept anyone for who they are, yet capable of detecting an InstaGoth at 100 paces, and resentful of the fakeness. We skate the thin edge of madness and suicide, yet many of us are (IMHO) mentally healthier than a lot of 'normals', because we at least will admit that we're broken souls. Angry music makes us happy; happy music makes us angry. And of course we can put more variety into black and white than a lot of people have in a wardrobe full of colours! Walking oxymorons indeed....

PS I would also like the URL of that TransGoth site, if you don't mind, Alexandra...

Violet wrote:Nine Inch Nails and Marilyn Manson

Oh yes, NIN is one of my favs, I however don't care for MM, but rather lean towards the direction of Joy Division

Violet wrote:yet many of us are (IMHO) mentally healthier than a lot of 'normals'

You bet! Many of the "in crowd" or popular people have much more warped things going on mentally pushing them to a breakdown. I also agree that they are FAR more tolerant of people's differences than most others, especially the ones that claim to be tolerant!

(check your PM!)

What Violet said!



Love,
CJ

Howdy Y'all

Violet Wrote:

I didn't meet most of the other Goths in my city or going to club nights until I was in University. When I did, though, I found I fit in perfectly even though I knew almost nothing about the wider kultur or ideals. I also learned that I do enjoy dancing, as long as it's to the right kind of music...

What's the deal? Hard to say. Ask 10 different Goths what it's all about, and you'll get 20 different answers. good night To me, it's all about seeing beauty in darkness, seeking out the shadows others avoid, becoming comfortable with them and making them your friends. It's also about freedom. When I started CDing, my Goth friends were the only people I know who accepted it without reservation. As a general group, Goths are the most accepting tolerant people I've met anywhere - even of self-destruction (some might say especially of self-destruction). But you can't stop someone from destroying themself, if they're really bound and determined. The best you can do is look out for each other and do your best to make sure that, when someone goes, they don't take you or anyone you love out with them.

Amelie-Laveau is onto something with that 'walking oxymoron' thing. Our very being invites attention, yet we react violently to intrusive attention; we'll tolerate so many practices that others would revile, but refuse to tolerate control or attacks on us (individually or as a group); many of us are deeply spiritual, but have no use for religion; deeply individualistic, yet also deeply identified with one peer-group; willing to accept anyone for who they are, yet capable of detecting an InstaGoth at 100 paces, and resentful of the fakeness. We skate the thin edge of madness and suicide, yet many of us are (IMHO) mentally healthier than a lot of 'normals', because we at least will admit that we're broken souls. Angry music makes us happy; happy music makes us angry. And of course we can put more variety into black and white than a lot of people have in a wardrobe full of colours! Walking oxymorons indeed....

I couldn't have stated it better myself First time at a Goth club, I fit right in. Heck, before that, I wasn't even aware that I had Goth in me

*Hugs & Love*

Aloha! (it's a phase)

Originally I was going to name this thread "Goth Gals and Why We Love Them", but I thought it would be arrogant to start a thread name that when it was me saying "We"

Now that everyone has responded. It's "WE!" by a landslide!!

Beauty

What can I say? To me, goth girls are the sexiest women in the world. Their beauty. Their creativity. Their deeper than average sense. Their love & pride of self-expression.

Plus, they love us too! An added bonus.

Just as I was a closet CD many years ago, I was also a closet goth. I used to listen to disco & hip hop around my friends, all the while wishing that I could listen to some nice Ministry or Skinny Puppy. But then we eventually grow!

Hah! And another shiny happy person falls into the deepening darkness of the grave!! @#%*&^ )))))

Right on. I always love hearing about people who 'embraced their inner Goth'.

I am going to Albion/Batcave tomorrow night...