Hi all,
Rikki wrote:
Whether men wearing women's clothes as men is crossdressing depends on your definition of crossdressing.
I agree wholheartedly. For many (but by no means all), a defining feature of crossdressing is the desire to actually
pass as a member of the opposite sex. I think there's a difference between my wearing women's slacks, blouses, underwear, or shoes while in boy mode (I even keep a short beard most of the time) and dressing fully en femme. Yes, it's all women's clothing; however, the intent (and, hopefully, the result
) is completely different.
In one instance (fully en femme) I'm a crossdresser, because I've acknowledged the existence of an essentially feminine component in my psychological makeup (pun most definitely intended!
) and present accordingly. It's something I
am. In the other (boy mode partial "dressing"), I'm a crossdresser, because I wear women's clothes even though I'm not necessarily trying to present as female. Wearing those clothes is something I
do. Is there a difference between the two slightly different senses in which I use the word? Maybe.
I tend to make a distinction between being a "polygendered" person who, when en femme, dresses "across" traditional gender boundaries--a matter of [cross-]gender conformity-- and merely wearing women's clothes, while in boy mode, as a matter of preference, comfort, and convenience--a matter of gender rebellion.
For me, a big motivation in trying to "pass" is that I don't want to make it too obvious that I'm wearing gender-inappropriate clothing. The acrylic nails, the makeup, the long flowing hair, the delicate jewelry, the smooth skin and, yes, the pretty clothes, are all signifiers of femininity; in order not to have anyone doubt this femininity, many CDs are tempted to go to great lengths to emphasize these signifiers, with decidedly mixed results. We just as much wish to be taken for women because of the clothes and "accessories" we wear as we want to present the way we do (to pass, in other words) because it allows us to express our feminine side. It's a two-way street. In boy mode, that's a moot point; if I'm wearing women's clothes, well, it immediately becomes obvious to anyone who looks a little more closely that I
am, indeed, wearing gender-inappropriate clothing. There's no possibility of "passing" as either a man or a woman if you're obviously a man wearing women's clothes. I think that, to some extent, this may bother people more than meeting a fully crossdressed gal because this gal is at least trying to fit in an accepted gender "box." (Something I think many SOs have an issue with.) Dress (and change your looks) in a more androgynous manner and, suddenly, you're outside the box, you become a "third term" (in Marjorie Garber's parlance). Now, that makes people squirm because they can't fit their brain around the idea of someone not being either a man or a woman. You have to be one or the other, culture dictates. Want to see what I mean? Look at the drawing below, and try to tell if the triangle is leaning toward or away from you. It's actually doing neither--it's just lines on a piece of (virtual) paper. However, our brain is constantly trying to jump from one to the other. It's a little bit like that when men and women play close to the gender fence. We're profoundly binary (yin-yang; up-down; light-dark; right-left; good-bad; girl-boy, etc.); we want clarity and contrast. But this is a soft-focus world.
I, for one, wouldn't want it any other way, though. I love the essential mystery (and "un-pin-down-ability") of who I am. I welcome my "Spirit breaking through finite human boundaries to Divine ecstasy."
Love,
Christina
) so I enjoy bringing femme attire with me even endrab, but I have a long desire to show some of this ( as scary as it can be ) especially the thought of dressing in mostly male clothes ( maybe girls jeans ) and putting on a pair of my spike heeled boots ( Mmmmm esp. my granny boots ) and just going about my affairs. I can't tell you how much this thought sits on my mind, but to go out obviously dressed as a guy ( basically) looks but wearing high heel boots or pumps ( the pumps would show my pantyhose be they beige,suntan or black etc. ) would be intimidating as I would wonder and worry how others might see me. I know most people would probably not or hardly notice or care, but it's that GREY ZONE that keeps me in fear ( as much of a turn on it would be ) I would love to imagine that maybe a lady would take interest in my crossing male/female attaire and make a beautuiful comment or ask a question on my shoes, boots etc. but I can't seem, to cross that line from dreaming of celebrating my femme side even endrab to doing it. Have you all ever done/do similar things and what kind of feelings did you all have and responses did you recieve... T.I.A.
I love that look with white socks.