Crossdressers-Haven.com

I've about convinced myself to go out enfemme to a local mall this week. I think I'm passable, if not perfectly.

For those who have really done this, not just fantisized it, should I do it? How much danger am I putting myself into? I don't expect to run into anyone I know at the time and place I plan.

I really want to try this, but I need your serious advice.

Bob,
Virginia goes out often and the mall would be my last choice for your first time, especially on a week-end. As I have said before our worst enemy will be found at the mall, especially on week-ends. You do NOT want to be confronted with this pack of "outters" ESPECIALLY on your first time out. Who?? Teenage girls? They are like sharks and it is not their fault, it is just a GG's, a young GG trait. They do not know why they do it but research show that they (subsciounsely) are seeking roll models and if you have ever watch them in a pack = 2 or more, they scrutinize everyone, male and female, but especially female. How they walk, hold themselves, dress, make-up, gestures, everything and if they "out' you they not only share it with eachother, but they will let everyone with in the same zip code know they have found something that needs to be disected, socially right on the spot! They probably have never seen anything like it, it is totally alien to them and it appears defensless so they go for the "kill." Don't really think you want to put yourself at that kind of a risk, especially on your first, second or even tenth time out. You need a lot and I mean a lot of experience before you face that potential nightmare!
That being said, one of our sisters posted that she was once in that postion and she simply walked over to the girls and began talking to them, like, yes I am a crossdresser, how did you know, what can I do to improve my appearance? my projection? my make-up? etc. She said she turned them on a dime and she made about four friends real quick. But what if you had to do that several times with the same trip and some were not as "forgiving" as the ones she dealt with. NO I can not in good spirit recommend a mall especially on a week-end.
What then - How about a movie, afternoon or evening on a week-day? Afternoon matinees (my first outting) was very successful. No crowds, no direct interaction other than having to "whisper" through a piece of glass the name of the movie, "Cold Mountain." I was handed the ticket and walked in and straight to the theater. It is relatively dark so even if your makeup is not hollywood no one can really see and you arrive and leave in relatively seclusion, yet you have made a visit to society. Needless to say at night you have a bit of darkness to hide in but you have many more obstackels to deal with in that it is much more crowded. Anyway afternoon matinees are, at least around here $3 - $4 cheaper and it sure is not crowded and you get entertainiment and can "pracitice" your feminine moves in relative privacy.
Just a suggestion. let us know what you decide to do. Oh, you might try a "drive-thru" first as well: Mickey "D's"; Hardees etc.
Good luck, honey and keep the faith!!!
Virginia

I've only been 'out' as a fem once, and that was to sweep the snow off our front walk during the evening when it was dark, and that only took 5 minutes.

I like what Virginia has stated, she had lots of good ideas, for instance do a matinee on a weekday, the theatres are usually quiet and no one will really take notice.

This sounds like very good advice, though this may be one of the few, if not only, times I'll ever be able to go out. How about a non-enclosed shopping center? There is one not too far away that has an Avenue store.

Bob,

I agree with what Virginia said. The mall is a tough place to go for your first time, and the movies and drive through fast food are much safer.

My first time out was to a T-friendly consignment shop.

Its best to take a small step first until you are comfortable with that, and you can try other things later on.


Sharon Rose

Hi, Bob

I have to echo what my sisters have already said. A mall is dicey at best. A morning walk in the park is always nice. Some are busier than others. Stores such as Lane Bryant are usually not a problem. I would advise against shopping near where you live. You're sure to meet someone you know sooner or later.

Best to leave the malls to at time when you can go with a group or once you have gotten more comfortable being out. I visited a busy mall in Atlanta during SCC. There were a few stares, but no one knew me there, either. The desire to experience the world as a woman is strong, but just use good judgement.

Take Care
Angie

Bob, I know you've thought about this a lot, I did before my first time out too. I first did a drive thru fast food. Then I got out of the car and sent to a grocery store with a pop vending machine outside, then went to a drugstore, then a K mart and Walmart. These were all on seperate ocaisions. Later on that month I then went to a Salvation Army store and the same night to a ARC thrift store ( locked my keys in the car had to call a lock smith) haven't been out since to a store since , other then getting gas emptying trash, and returning videos. But I have been thinking about going to the K mart again I really enjoyed the time I had looking at underwear, shoes and bras. The mall would be the last place I would go unless I was with a group of other cd's or at least a GG. Hope you have a good time with going out, which ever you decide. Keep smilin , keep dressin and keep postin......Kristen

Well, I made my first outing today. I took your advice and avoided the mall.

From the "inside-out" I wore a beige underwired bra with molded foam cups and lace trim, size 38C, filled with two sets of Naturalbra forms, and a beige lace string bikini panty. To give me a more convincing shape, I added a four-pad girdle. My hosery was sheer, square patterned black trouser socks.

Then a blue rib-knit long-sleeved turtleneck top and an ankle-length black knit skirt. Over the top was a black women's blazer. My shoes were 2.5" heeled pumps. To finish the outfit, I wore my shag-cut salt and pepper wig (probably the weakest part of the outfit) and my femme prescription glasses.

Unfortunately, the coverup I used, advertised to cover even tattoos, didn't do a good job of covering my beard. I added foundation, blush, mascara, and eye shadow and lipstick, and would have looked pretty good if the beard weren't visible. Guess I'll have to get some Dermablend if I want to do this again.

I picked an open-air, not enclosed, shopping center in an upscale part of town. While they don't have any department stores, they do have Lane Bryant and Avenue stores. I drove the 20+ miles to the center without incident, en femme. When I got there, I drove around to checkout the situation and got up the nerve to park in front of the Avenue store. I got out and walked down the sidewalk, window shopping. A clerk in the store spotted me and gave me a big smile. I'd like to think she thought I was a GG, but I don't think she was close enough to get a real good look. I chickened out and didn't go inside. Then I went and parked at the Lane Bryant and did the same thing...got a smile from a clerk there too. Still chicken, I drove back home, but I did stop at a McDonald's drive-thru and bought a Coke. The cashier give me a big smile, not a smirk, but a smile, so I don't know if I fooled her or not. But seeing the pink lipstick on my straw was a real rush.

I drove home and pulled into my garage without being caught.

It was an exhilarating experience. I don't know if I'll ever have the opportunity to do it again, but I'd like to try some real shopping next time.

Thanks for all your advice and encouragement.

Bobbi

Sounds like a good first outting Bobbi, congratulations.

I can see you took some good advice. If it was hard to go into a store with only the clerk there, I imagine the mall would have been a disaster.

Note that Lane Bryant and the Avenue are familier with CD customers, so next time, with a better bear cover, go on in

There were GG customers in the stores too. The Avenue was running a big sale--"Up to 80% off. Don't let anything stop you!" Guess I should have taken their advice.

Courage! I was lucky, in that when I started dressing I already knew where the Goth club and the gay bar were, and had been to both plenty (I practically *lived* at the Underground), so I had some fairly easy options of places to socialize where I knew I would be accepted. I know how tough it is for sisters who have no such options, and I applaud each and every time someone like you has the guts to 'take it up a notch'.

Way to Go Bobbi!!!!!!
Just one bit of constructive criticism - we are not out "to fool anyone." We are attempting to pass!!
Ya done good, darlin!!!! We are all proud of you. Like Donna said, Layne Bryant teaches their sales folks to be very tolerent of crossdressers. They will be fired if a complaint is registered against them for not treating "us" with all due respect!
It is such a rush to drive around and get out and walk.
Keep the faith and look forward to your next outting - yet another ambasssador is "out the door!!"
Virginia

Bobbi, Isn't it just a rush, CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!! Being there in front of a store is so excting. Before long you'll being buying things while being a complete Bobbi. I am so happy for you. I don't think you were "read". You must have been smiling too....
Did you think everyone was looking at you, I know I felt that way the first time out. But I felt I was only read at the gas station she just smiled at me (clerk) when I paid for my gas.
I shave up down left to right when i go out seems tohelp the shadow then I am good for about 3 hours. I have a light beard but very fair skinned.
Hope you do it again real soon. Have a blast and CONGRATULATIONS !! Again.
YEEHAW another one hits pay dirt. Yippie yi kie yeh.......... Keep smilin, keep dressin, keep postin and You Bobbi keep goin out.......Kristen

Congratulations Bobbi!

You took your first steps today. I agree with what has been said by everyone else.

Kristen has a good point in that not everyone is going to notice, or even care. While its true that nobody passes 100% of the time, its also true that not everyone is going to notice or pay attention to a CD.

What's important is to be aware of your surroundings, and avoid unsafe or uncomfortable places.

Sharon