Crossdressers-Haven.com

My SO told me today she wished I would cut my nails shorter. She said it embarrassed her around our friends.
She knows I crossdress, she doesn't know to what extent. I wear panties exclusively, no drab underwear.
I have only recently come out to her. She is okay with my panties, and my night wear, and I wear her shorts. The ones I wear are too small for her anyway.
I'm just kinda putting it on her a little at a time. Not pushing too hard.
I comprised with her today, on the nails. I got a manicure and had my manicurist corner them, but not shorten them too much. They still look great and, I believe, more stylish.
We have been married many, many years, have grown children, and many grand children. I have kept my crossdressing in the closet all these years. I feel better now that she knows, but don't think I will ever be able to tell anyone else in my family.
The kids are so busy with their own lives and family that we mostly only see them on special occasions. So, we just go our merry little ways, and do our own things.
I said all that to say, I don't want to embarrass my lovely SO around friends.
Give and take, I think, is an important ingredient in a happy marriage.
What do you think?

LaDonna,
Thanks for telling us your current status with your wife. If you have not read and you have the time to read, under "Coping for CD's" the topic of Bounderies..... it is probably the best - NO it is the best thread that this forum has ever produced and well worth the time to read and study. It goes right to the heart of us and our relationship with our SO's. You have been doing this (crossdressing) for quite a while. I think a lot of us would like to hear what you have to say about the positions and opinions expressed in that thread.
Virginia

Hi LaDonna,

Give & take, 50/50, that's what a happy marriage is all about! Just as long as the both of you are happy...

But hypothetically speaking, if you had to cut your nails all the way down, would you ever consider press-on nails as an alternative? Just curious...

Hi LaDonna,

I'm glad you went and got a manicure, but you still didn't make them shorter. Have you asked her how important it is to her? If she's kind of been giving, can you say you feel you've been doing the same?

I'm one of the people here who thinks that there should be as much give as there is take unless you are ready to leave a relationship because you can't take a request being made by your spouse or girlfriend because it would compromise who you are. Otherwise I think it's a good time to be the feeling husband with a femme side that your wife married and compromise with her if you've gone outside of her comfort zone.

If you haven't asked her how important it is to her or if getting the manicure was what she wanted, then you're in your own world and not an active participant in your marriage. I suggest that you go to her and ask her to be brutally honest about the nails. It may stink sweetie if she says, "I can't live with it", at least you'll know. I honestly doubt she'll say that. She's already been accepting that you're a CD'r. Give her the benefit of the doubt and the opportunity to be honest and also be fair. She may change her mind about it later. Right now you've taken, maybe it's time to give too. At least until she's more comfy.

Beauty

LaDonna, my wife sometimes has issues with the length of my nails. I'll grow them out every once in a while. She particularly doesn't like it when mine are in better shape than hers. She makes it a point, when we are holding hands, to check thier length sometimes.

I tell her it's only temporary, and will shorten them soon, but for now I want to enjoy the lentgh and look when I polish them.

Being a hobbiest woodworker, they will break or crack eventually anyway, and when I do manage to keep them in good shape, I think I should have the right to enjoy them for a bit.

It's all a little give and take. No-one else notices them anyway, unless I have a darker polish on when out.

Do you polish yours?

Thank you so much for your comments, Girls.
She seemed okay with my nails after the adjustment. She even commented that they looked nice. However, I think you are right, Beauty, it wouuld be fair of me to ask her outright if she is okay with the way they are.
She did ask me if I was planning on going all the way with my crossdressing, like going out in public dressed as a woman. I told her I really didn't know, at this time. I havn't actually made up my mind to it.
I am very sensitive to her feelings and opinions. The most beautiful scenario would be if she ever completely accepts LaDonna, and would get involved with her growth as a woman.
I asked her if she felt threatened by the crossdressing. She said she knows nothing can ever come between us, and she is right. We love each other dearly, and we are very happy with each other's company.
She told me she always knew I had a softer side to me, and she is happy to see that side. Even though it's always been there, like some others, I built up a defense mechanism so my sensitive side could not be used to hurt me. A shell, so to speak.
I will read the piece on " Boundaries", and let you know my feelings on it.
Love 'ya all, LaDonna

dear ladonna,first wellcome dear to our group.well now i can say i have been out to my wife around five years now after a very long marriage.she knows that i go out to my cd group and i grow my nails so i can pass while i ride the subway.some times she comes over to me and asks to see them and if they are a bit long she asks me to cut them.so i file them down a little and put on some nailpolish.i really enjoy having my nails long and i love to polish them. again wellcome and keep in touch love phylis anne

Lorna wrote:Hi LaDonna,

Give & take, 50/50, that's what a happy marriage is all about! Just as long as the both of you are happy...

But hypothetically speaking, if you had to cut your nails all the way down, would you ever consider press-on nails as an alternative? Just curious...

I don't think so, Lorna. I've read the pos and cons, and I just don't think press ons are healthy for my nails. I have been fighting a little discoloration in a couple of nails. Love your smile.

DonnaT wrote:LaDonna, my wife sometimes has issues with the length of my nails. I'll grow them out every once in a while. She particularly doesn't like it when mine are in better shape than hers. She makes it a point, when we are holding hands, to check thier length sometimes.

I tell her it's only temporary, and will shorten them soon, but for now I want to enjoy the lentgh and look when I polish them.

Being a hobbiest woodworker, they will break or crack eventually anyway, and when I do manage to keep them in good shape, I think I should have the right to enjoy them for a bit.

It's all a little give and take. No-one else notices them anyway, unless I have a darker polish on when out.

I have never painted my nails, Donna. Not that I don't want to, I just have not been out with my SO very long. Being retired, we are together practically all the time, and I have not had the opportunity.
I intend to broach the suject with her and, in fact, see if I can get her to help me the first time. You know, kind of involve her each step of the way. That's kind of my game plan.

Like your SO, she too has compared my nails to hers.
I told her," So, go see my manicurist." She took it well.
I'm a people person, and my intuition tells me you are a loving and caring.
Hug, hug, Sweetie.

Hi Phylis Anne. You look like a real lady. I appreciate your post.
I was in Brooklyn one time, a long time ago. Came into the Brooklyn Navy Yards on a troop ship.
Love that Brooklyn accent.
Hope I can become friends with all you wonderful girls. Love Ya'll

I have the bad habit of biting my nails. It seems as soon as they start to grow out I bite them off.

I don;'t think that I can possibly improve on what Beauty saied so I will leave it at I strongly agree with her.

I sounds like you have a wonderful wife and that you treasure the marriage. That is a great benchmark that you can measure various things against-how is affecting the relationship.

Andrea

LaDonna, you quoted my post but forgot to add your replay. Were you going to answer the question Do you polish your nails?

Hi Donna,

It was there. It was just in the quote. I fixed it so you can see her response easier now.

Beauty

LaDonna wrote:Thank you so much for your comments, Girls.
She seemed okay with my nails after the adjustment. She even commented that they looked nice. However, I think you are right, Beauty, it wouuld be fair of me to ask her outright if she is okay with the way they are.
She did ask me if I was planning on going all the way with my crossdressing, like going out in public dressed as a woman. I told her I really didn't know, at this time. I havn't actually made up my mind to it.
I am very sensitive to her feelings and opinions. The most beautiful scenario would be if she ever completely accepts LaDonna, and would get involved with her growth as a woman.
I asked her if she felt threatened by the crossdressing. She said she knows nothing can ever come between us, and she is right. We love each other dearly, and we are very happy with each other's company.
She told me she always knew I had a softer side to me, and she is happy to see that side. Even though it's always been there, like some others, I built up a defense mechanism so my sensitive side could not be used to hurt me. A shell, so to speak.
I will read the piece on " Boundaries", and let you know my feelings on it.
Love 'ya all, LaDonna

Hi LaDonna,

That was so sweet. Your SO is so cool. "Nothing can ever come between us." she said. Awwwwwwww.

That is so beautiful!!!!

Take care and it's good reading more about you.

Beauty