A few days ago I tried to go out with my wife as Steffie and I dressed up in skirt/heels. We went shopping together. After a short while, my wife told me that everyone was staring at me and that I looked like a guy in a dress. She didn't say this to be hurtful but she says it bothers her when people stare and make fun of me. I can honestly say I didn't notice it ever (at that time or in my trips before). Even that day with my wife when I was in the store (Dress Barn), one of the sales ladies called me mam. At the time my wife said these things to me, it hurt my confidence a little and I was a little sad. She said she will continue to support my crossdressing but prefers not to go out with me anymore (as Steffie). I can respect this and am grateful she accepts and supports me as she does. I'm not greedy.
On reflection I later thought that because my wife has always been leery about going out with me, maybe she may have assumed some people were staring? I decided I wasn't going to let this derail me even if some were. Each time I have gone out , I have made eye contact more and more and was careful to look and see if there were any double takes or stares and I honestly have seen very few if any. I feel they have all been positive.
This brings me to the subject line and why I went out yesterday. Plus I found another crossdresser to go out with too from my CD meetings (my wife is fine with it-I, of course, asked her first).
Up to now when I have gone out I have gone to clothing shops like Dress barn or to malls (i.e., women clothing stores). However, yesterday I decided to push the envelope a little bit more and went to a little mini-mall in Princeton which had a movie theatre. I went with one of my new friends from a CDing meeting. I went en-femme and my friend dressed androgenously (he dometimes dresses en-femme and sometimes androgenously).
To try and blend it a bit more instead of wearing skirt/heels (which I usually prefer), I wore a pair of women's jeans, a burgundy top and women's sneakers. I paninted my nails burgundy and had some dark red lipstick. I was a bit nervous as this was my first time in a setting where there were as many men as women (unlike in women's clothing stores) plus I guess I was subconsciously still thinking of my wife's comments. I didn't see any stares and asked my friend if there were any. My friend said there were no stares and for me not to worry and that I looked fine. After the movie. we went to grab a bite (a sushi place in the mini-mall). This was yet another first for me-going en-femme in a restaurant. After we ate, I had to use the restroom but I was too afraid to go to any ladies rooms. I asked my friend to check the men's room as he was dressed androgenously and to let me know when it was empty. After giving me the signal, I ran in, went in the stall and my friend let me know then that the coast was clear to exit. I thus made it in and out unscathed with no one seeing me!
I guess I can call the day a success. It was nice to have someone to go out shopping and a movie with (because I know my wife won't do that part with me any more). I don't think I could have gone to a movie or restaurant alone. After that my friend and I left and at the end of the afternoon we each went our respective ways. I drove to a secluded lot and took off my makeup and changed back into my male clothes (I put on my makeup earlier in the day in the same lot). I then arrived back home as 100% male. That's my story. At least the week finished on a positive note, though, I think.
I guess in a manner of speaking I fell from the horse a few days earlier but at least got back up in the saddle. Maybe the falling is just all part of being a CD, I guess. And to think all this is with no one laughing at me (that I could see)! Can you imagine me if I actually saw someone openly laughing? lol
One last thing: My last couple of trips out before yesterdays, my wife did take a pic of me dressed (I recently got a couple of new wigs which I now wear). I'll have to upload onto my computer and show one sometime I guess. Anyway, take care, girls.
Steffie
