Crossdressers-Haven.com

Hi girls,

I know that many of my sisters out there yearn to go out dressed en femme but fear that they are not passable enough and will draw too much attention. I go out frequently and I am not passable at all, but this does not stop me. I really think most people don't care.

Anyway, here are some pics from some recent outtings. I hope that it may embolden those of my sisters who are on the fence about going out. Perhaps it will have the opposite effect. Maybe some will say, "I would never go out looking like that". Either way, I hope this helps with your decision.

http://elizabeth-alive.com/lizLAXa.JPG

Here I am at LAX waiting for my best friend to fly in.

http://elizabeth-alive.com/lizpic102405007a.jpg

Me and Raven(SO) at the Edwards Airforce Base airshow with a F-117A Stealth Fighter

http://elizabeth-alive.com/lizpic102405008a.jpg

Me and Raven(SO) at the Edwards Airforce Base airshow with a F-22 Stealth Fighter

http://elizabeth-alive.com/lizpics102405003a.jpg

Me and my best friend along with my two youngest sons and the same F-22 Stealth Fighter

http://elizabeth-alive.com/lizpics102405004a.jpg

Me and Raven(SO) in the lot of the college I will be attending standing next to a Joshua tree.


The interesting thing is, if you look around at people near me in pictures where there are people besides myself you notice something. They could care less about me. You can not find a more conservative venue than an Airforce Base or a College and no one even gave me a second look.

I can tell all of you that my fears about going out, even non-passable, have not been realized. I really think most people just don't care. So? go out and have fun girls!!!!!!

Love always,
Elizabeth

I could handle that too Elizabeth, if Raven could inspire my wife

Nice pictures, nice kids.

Hi Elizabeth ,

I think people are so tied up with their own lives , problems , interests that they just want to get on about their bussiness.
Also a lot of people are just not observant , I,ve had people walk past me at arms length and not look up.

My (personal) policy on going out in public is -

(A) dont wear cloths that draw attention
(B) keep away from drunks and bored teenagers
(C) keep on the move , dont get confined in a train or bus etc.

oh nice pic's too Elizabeth

Elizabeth,

Nice pictures! I like your attitude about going out too.

Merinda, I agree with your advice about going out in public.

Sharon Rose

Thanks girlfriend! You really are an inspiration, I can only hope that some of our sisters will follow you! Proud of you, honey! and of Raven! You are so very fortunate well so is she!!!
Love ya both,
Virginia

Hi Elizabeth & All,
Thanks for all your inspiration and for your Pics they might have just put another notch in my courage belt to go out in to the world.


Hugs,
Danette

Hi girls,

Merinda wrote:
Hi Elizabeth ,

I think people are so tied up with their own lives , problems , interests that they just want to get on about their bussiness.
Also a lot of people are just not observant , I,ve had people walk past me at arms length and not look up.

My (personal) policy on going out in public is -

(A) dont wear cloths that draw attention
(B) keep away from drunks and bored teenagers
(C) keep on the move , dont get confined in a train or bus etc.

Merinda,

I totally agree with everything you wrote. The possible exception is public transportation. There are instances where I think it would be ok. But it depends on the location and how safe you feel. I would feel completely safe riding the trains in Washington DC during daylight hours, however I am not so sure I would feel as safe in the New York subway. Perhaps if I were more familiar with it. In both instances though, I would never ride alone. And that would be the one thing I would add to your list:

(D) don't go out alone if possible and certainly not at night.

I rarely go out alone. It turns out that we crossdressers have to follow the same rules most GG's have to follow. As men we are not used to being targets of personal body attacks, but as crossdressers we are just as vulnerable as women. So go out, but be smart.


SharonRose,

Your up-beat attitude has inspired me more than once, thanks for being here and supporting everyone in such a classy way.


Virginia,

I know these have been troubled times for you and still you continue to keep your dignity and inspire others. I know what you are going through and I wish I could say or do something that would make it all better, I certainly would. All I can tell you is that even though you are going through stormy weather, the sun is going to shine for you again. Keep the faith girlfriend.


Danette,

If I can do anything that might inprove your life in even the smallest way, it would make me feel great. I feel a strong desire to give back to the people of this forum, who have given me more than I could ever repay, and have asked nothing in return. You go girl.

Love always,
Elizabeth

Hi, Elizabeth.

You wrote:(D) don't go out alone if possible and certainly not at night.

I rarely go out alone. It turns out that we crossdressers have to follow the same rules most GG's have to follow. As men we are not used to being targets of personal body attacks, but as crossdressers we are just as vulnerable as women. So go out, but be smart.

I am grateful that you posted this. Have you had any bad experiences from going out alone? Or have you just always not gone out alone.

Hi Elizabeth--
I like the pictures. I think one reason you're not attracting a lot of attention is because you're not dressing in a way that confuses men, in particular. You're not trying to dress "hot," and not using forms really helps this impression. I think that many men get upset or angry when they see TG gals dressed in provocative ways, because it creates a no-win situation for them.

You're not putting them in that position. They may be curious about you, but that doesn't mean that they stare or make remarks. That first picture, with the blonde hair, seems very passable to me, by the way.

I'm not saying that we should never dress in a sexy manner. I certainly enjoy it sometimes, but I don't usually do it to go to the hardware store. If you're going to be out there day after day, blending in is the way to go.

Darlene,

I have on rare occasion gone out by myself at night, but only to places where I am known like the grocery store or the gas station. Even then I lock my doors and only go into the store when the coast is clear.

In the day time I go out all the time and don't really have any problems, however I do keep a very high vigilence and stay in very public places. It's very much a common sense kind of thing.

Love always,
Elizabeth

Hi Elizabeth!

Great pictures of you going out and about in public! You have been a wonderful inspiration for myself. I came out in December of last year; before that, I was deeply closeted.

Since January of this year, I have gone out dressed at public restaurants. I don't go alone; I go with around a dozen TG individuals to dinner at a public restaurant. Each month, we go to a different restaurant; we are openly seen by other patrons and restaurant staff.

We blend in with other patrons and the restaurant staff treats us with dignity and respect. We never get harrassed or laughed at by other patrons. If you treat others with respect, others will treat you with respect.

In October, there were 24 of us who went out to a popular Japanese restaurant in the San Francisco Bay Area. From the perspective of the restaurant staff, they were glad to see a large party attending; they didn't care whether we were dressed or not, they saw a large group of paying customers. The Bay Area is very tolerant of alternative lifestyles.
Imaging going dressed to different restaurants, Chinese, Mexican, etc. The more you are seen openly, the more you help break down the myth of the "Stereotypical Crossdresser," mentioned in Lacey Leigh's books. You would help educate the public and help break down the misinformation about crossdressing.

One of FDR's famous quotes during the Great Depression is, "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."

Maria

Elizabeth - Sounds like you had a great time, you've got the right attitude. I've also noticed that it's easier to blend in with a crowd. As you've said, people are in their own little worlds. I've got no illusions about being mistaken for GG in up-close interaction, but I've still been treated like a lady by people whom I'm sure knew I was a guy in a dress. In my experience, if you're dressed presentably and appropriately and you act like you deserve respect, you'll usually get it.

Maria - Good to see you here. I was annoyed I couldn't make it to the last dinner. Incidently, Carla (the dinner organizer) mentioned once that the nicer the restaurant the better we as a group have been treated -- not only by the staff but by the fellow patrons.

I've been out at night alone, but I use the same caution that a GG would. Usually it's just been from the parking garage to clubs in San Francisco. I do try to be directed, confident and in motion -- i.e. not looking like a victim. I also make sure to get the car keys out before getting to car so I'm not fumbling in my purse (plus they're a useful weapon.) I did have a bit of a scare once, when a guy circled back around in my direction. Don't know he had evil intentions, but I was glad I was just getting into my car and did prompt to go get some pepper-spray.

Probably wouldn't be a bad idea to take a defense class either once the knee is better. Incidently, one simple defensive move is to flatten whichever of your hands is positioned more to your assailant's center front, with your thumb extended open as far as it will go. Quickly ram the web of your hand into his Adam's apple; your final destination is his spine, about 4 inches deep in his neck. He probably won't be able to talk for some minutes.

Hi Elizabeth,

Those pictures were great. You looked like you were dressed like a mom. I did notice that no one was really paying attention to you in those photos. I agree with Anita. I think it's because you weren't attempting to look "hot". You did look very cute.

Congrats on your outing!!!

Amen Sister

You've put into words my exact feelings on the matter.

Julie