Crossdressers-Haven.com

As Danielle La Belle, I have been in public perhaps a dozen times. The first time was as close to a heart attack as one would want to get.

In a spur-of-the-moment decision, dressed to the nines, I decided to just get my purse, put a few essential items in it and go!

Running on adrennaline, I went to a local book store on a Sunday about mid-day. Phew! While making my exit from the car, 3 men that had arrived just ahead of me, about 3 car lanes in front of me, took exit from their vehicle and looked back at me as I was getting out .

Once I got past that with no real problem, I made my way to the door. Woosh!, in I went. I managed to spend an hour there browsing books. I had a short conversation with a woman and her daughter about age 4 about a book that she was interested in. That was my very first conversation with any outside source. My first visual contact etc., and it seem to go well. No rolling of the eyes or a quick getaway. A nice, comfortable conversation.

When I got home, I turned on the video camera and went into a mega tirad about my first time out. I still have that video as a reminder of what my first time was like.

THE BIG, BIG BUILDUP!

In my mind, at least, there are some things to do that are so big, so risky, so classic, that they form Events in the Olympics of Crossdressing! (trumpet fanfare, please)

One of these is going dressed to Tijuana, Mexico.

Tijuana, for those unfamiliar with the place, has QUITE a colorful history. Its first big time was as a place to get a drink during Prohibition. It was also a base for liquor smuggling into the US. So during the twenties, it began to earn an unsavory reputation, as a playground for the wealthy, the famous, and the infamous.

During World War II, a whole generation of sailors and Marines, stationed in San Diego or just passing through, went "down to Teejay" for a raunchy evening's entertainment, with baudy nightclubs ("come look at the girls!"), cabdrivers offering prostitution ("wanna meet my seester?") and perhaps delivering you to some abandoned hovel twenty miles out in the desert(!) as well as illegal and legal gambling and drugs.

Transsexuals know Tijuana as the city where you can easily get prescription drugs such as hormones without a prescription. The slightly bigger challenge, of course, is getting them back into the U.S. To do that, legally you DO need a prescription.

And a few in our community may remember Tijuana as the home of the notorious Dr. Brown, an American surgeon infamous for doing whatever surgeries people wanted, no questions asked, but often doing a sloppy job of them, and in later years, in often unsanitary conditions such as motel rooms or garages. He lost his license in the U.S. and moved to Tijuana. Finally, he got so bad that he lost his license in Mexico too. One of his last cases was a fetishist who wanted him to amputate his leg for kicks! He performed the surgery in a motel room, but the man died from massive bleeding.

In recent years, Tijuana has made the news for Mexican crossdressers who were routinely arrested for prostitution.

And finally, Tijuana and some other border towns have allegedly notoriously corrupt police departments, where bribery is a way of life and people are arrested for non-existant crimes just to obtain bribes.

As I re-read this, I wonder why I went there at all!

Like I say, it's an event in the Olympics of Crossdressing. Think challenge!

THE REALITY (WHICH IS UNDERWHELMING COMPARED TO THE BUILDUP)

My wife and I went there Monday. Had a pleasant, largely uneventful day.

We walked in across the border (good exercise) from San Diego. Walked around downtown. Many of the stores have barkers standing outside, inviting passers-by to come in and see the incredible bargains ("we're almost giving them away, folks!") We looked into custom-made leather skirts, but at $150 USD each, they were just too pricey for our current budgets.

Then it was time for lunch. We ate at Sanborns, which is a branch of a large Mexico City-based chain. Had the same dish I ate in Mexico City some thirty years ago! As I recall, it was a LOT hotter in Mexico City! The food in Tijuana is mild, very much the same level of spiciness as you find in Southern California. It was delicious.

On the way walking out of the city, we discovered that the barkers are not nearly so friendly when you're walking out of the city. Overheard some subtle verbal abuse in Spanish directed at my transgenderedness. They probably didn't realize I speak Spanish fluently

And I was being READ! Oh, the shock of it all!

So we got off the main street and the abuse stopped.

Got back to San Diego with very tired feet! But all in all, a good time!

Ps. I forgot to mention:

Getting back into the U.S. en femme was a piece of cake! No problemo!

Hi Rikki!

That was an adventure.

I'm glad you're back safely.

How did you feel when you were read and they were saying those things?

Beauty

Gulp! I'm not sure even I'd try this. Glad it went okay for you and you're here to tell the story.

How did I feel when I was read and they were saying those things?

SCARED! Mucha scared!

But I simply pretended I didn't hear or understand them and kept right on walking. And that's when I decided to walk down a different street, pronto!

Wow... ok.

Thanks for answering that question for me. I was just curious and it was a very smart move for you to get onto another street.

I'm especially glad you're back with us and safe!!!

Beauty

Rikki, I am curious if you were stopped at Customs on the U.S. side of the border. Did they ask to see your passport? If so, did anyone question you about being en femme?

With all the heightened security, between drug smugglers, potential Al Qaeda operatives crossdressed, and the like, it would seem like a risky proposition.

Just wondering.

Sharon Rose

I went through the usual screening that every other American citizen goes through coming back from a day trip into Mexico.

2 xray machine scans of purse and other parcels
Look at my driver's license
Asked if I'm an American citizen

My driver's license has a femme picture but I've never changed my name.

Hi Rikki,

So, do you suggest that we get a femme picture taken in our ID if we go across the border?

Beauty

Beauty asks...

So, do you suggest that we get a femme picture taken in our ID if we go across the border?

No dear. When my ID had a male picture, though I hadn't tried Tijuana yet, I did get pretty much the same results most places.

What I am humbly trying to suggest by living my life openly is very, very simple:

Crossdressing is not illegal.

The government of the United States, the 50 states, most enlightened municipalities, most civilzed countries, most law enforcement officers and so on, do not have a policy of criminalizing or discriminating against crossdressing.

While there are certainly those who regard us as criminals, sexual deviants, and so on, they are most likely to be found among private citizens, family members, and employers in present day society. And even there, they are gradually aging, becoming more open-minded, and declining in numbers.

We can all certainly do our part to make ourselves acceptable to society by acting and dressing openly, confidently, appropriately, and sanely. If we act as if we have something to hide, people will tend to think we have something to hide. If we act likeable, people will tend to like us.

It is not true yet that we have nothing to fear but fear itself. But it is true that the cause of our fears is much more of our own making than we often suspect.

Now this is, apparently, a very radical message, and very upsetting not just to the genderphobic bigots, but even more upsetting to a lot of entrenched thinking within our own community!

It's upsetting to "The Industry" which believes that you have to be gorgeous to be passable, and that in order to be accepted into society, most of us need hormones, electrolysis, facial feminization surgery, and so on.

It's upsetting to "The Tranny Ghetto" which believes that crossdressers are only safe in so-called "friendly" places where there are lots of other transgender people. While I enjoy socializing with other transgender people, I am keenly aware that "friendly" places full of transgender people are often less safe than normal places, precisely because they attract attention, people are pre-disposed to read us there, and people are more likely to act rudely toward us because they think we're "on display."

It's upsetting to the people who need societal taboos and the myth of a huge anti-trans sentiment in society to protect them from themselves.

Behind "the Industry" and "the Tranny Ghetto" are too many people who are profiting from promoting fear and ignorance within our community.

Instead, I offer people the encouragement to be yourselves, to be nice to others, and to use common sense. No, I'm not safe in redneck bars, dark alleys, and so on--that's common sense. Learn where it's safe and where it's not. And be prepared for those "rules" to change gradually.

No, living openly is not for everyone. It has a cost. But the more of us that are willing to pay that cost, the lower the cost will be. Our money is green, our smiles are sincere and warm, and we can be who we really are.

Rikki,

Thanks for your well-thought reply.

Sharon Rose

Rikki, I agree with most everything you're saying and in particular this:

"Crossdressing is not illegal."

It seems that too many in our society wish it were illegal and treat us accordingly.

The other thing is this: among our TLBG brothers and sisters we're often treated as 2nd class citizens, even by some of our "heros." In particular, I'd like to point out U.S. Rep Barney Frank, a outspoken advocate of TLBG's who is somewhat lacking in support of the "T"'s.



I'm not entirely sure we're seeing declining numbers as you mentioned but I do agree that we need to just be ourselves and things ought to get better.

Hi, Rikki:

Your reply to Beauty was exactly right. I so admire your courage. I agree with what you say, but I'm afraid I don't have the courage you do.

In particular, I agree that we worry to much about fitting some ideal appearance--much the same trap that many ggs feel because of advertising's less than subtle message. (How many women actually look like Victoria's Secret models?)

And your comment on the industry is so true. I'm appalled by most of the web sites supposedly devoted to T people. They can be so sordid, what they sell is overpriced and tawdry to say the least. I guess until more of us have the courage that you've shown and allow the worst images of trans people to be the ones' the world sees, we'll never make progress.

I imagine it's not easy being a pioneer, which is what you are. I wish I could offer more than moral support--wish I had the courage to don a tasteful skirt and modest pumps and walk across the border (both literal and metaphorical) with you.

Your words are encouraging. You're a bit of a heroine, I think.

Love,

To all those who responded to my post,

awwwwwwwwwwwwww thank you!