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A girl's day out" in LA

Posted: Mon Jan 22, 2007 2:39 am
by Marlena Dahlstrom
I had a great -- if expensive -- in Los Angeles last weekend.

Caitlyn, one of my former best (female) friends from LA, who now lives in Paris (I don't hate you, really...), but is back in town for a few weeks. I came out to her back in August, and her first words were: "Oh cool!" So this time, she wanted to see me en femme.

Even though I knew she'd be accepting of it (and she was), I confess I was still a little nervous beforehand. It's one thing to be en femme in front of people I don't know well -- it's another to do so with people I know well.

But never fear. Caitlyn and I had a great girl's day out. We started with lunch at our favorite sushi place, which has lot of specialities you can't get anywhere else. As we were leaving the restaurant, Caitlyn turned to me and said, "I think the waitress really liked you." The waitress was pretty friendly, but I'd just chalked that up to her being perky, although she did seem a bit intrigued. I guess another woman discovered she's trans-amorous. Too bad, I wasn't really attuned to the possibility someone might be turned on by me being in femme.

(And not that I think anyone mistakes me for female close-up, but the waitress certainly knew I was a guy after Caitlyn accidentally referred to me as "he." To her credit, as the waitress had taken our order, Caitlyn immediately asked me which pronoun I preferred, and apologized profusely. Even if she kept made the same mistake later on in the day. But I knew she was trying and in fairness, I'm sure she it's hard for her to shift gears after knowing me for years as a guy (and knowing see was going to see me in guy mode the following day as well).

Next we went to Sak's because Caitlyn needed some skin care products -- with the exchange rate and VAT tax in France, stuff is cheaper here -- and she ended up taking me to the make-up counters and suggesting things for me to get. We found a nice blush, and some lipsticks. But definitely not cheap. (Caitlyn is more of a Beverly Hills brat than she's willing to admit to.) OTOH, since I only wear make-up a couple times a month, they should last quite a while.

After that, we went to B&B Hardware to pick up something she needed. B&B is one of those old-time, we-have-everything, high-testerone places -- but no one seemed to bat an eye. Then we went to the Nordstom's Rack at the Bridge (nothing interesting for me on the meager selection of plus-sized racks, but Caitlyn picked up a half-dozen shirts). We grabbed a bite for dinner, and saw "Casino Royale," which I'd wanted to see and Caitlyn was happy to drool over Daniel Craig a second time.

I'm not sure if I'm passing more than I realize, or if it's just that Angelenos have an of equivalent New Yorkers "seen it all 'tude" but I really didn't seem to get noticed that much, even at the Bridge which has a lot of blacks and Hispanics teens (who in the past have been most apt to stare or giggle). 'Course it did probably help that I was dressed like an "typical" local, in jeans, a patterned top and casual blazer -- and yes, I did wear pants. While I admit I would've preferred a skirt, given the unseasonably frigid weather, pants just made sense.

Interestingly, Caitlyn mentioned, she thought I was cuter as a girl than as a boy. Which I supposed might be a back-handed compliment, but I know she meant well. But I can see her point. The baby cheeks that I hate in guy mode give me a softer more "feminine" face, and make-up and women's clothing are designed to show off one's physical features. But I think in part, she meant it as a compliment that I wasn't over-doing things - she knows someone else who's cross-living, but whose falsetto voice and overly girly-girl mannerisms Caitlyn finds really annoying.

The next day, I got together with Caitlyn again, this time in en homme, since I needed to get some guy clothes and I generally find more interesting stuff in LA than here in the Bay Area. (After all a metrosexual does have an image to maintain.) Sadly, I hadn't seen much at the Nordstrom Rack the night before (even though I've had really good luck there in the past). So instead we went to the Century City mall, which has been remodelled so much that I didn't recognize anything. We stumbled across a boutique called Veni Vidi Vici, which had some great funky-yet-work-appropriate stuff -- and on sale! I ended up getting four shirts, which I badly needed, since I didn't have too many long-sleeve shirts for work.

Caitlyn also needed to stop at Sephora for some things, and we found a really nice foundation that matches really well (Caitlyn thought my current foundation was a shade too dark -- and that's the value of a good friend: she was willing to point out what others might not.) I had great fun with the sales clerk at the register. She asked if I wanted the foundation gift wrapped, so pulled out a photo of me en femme. "Is that your sister?" she asked. "Guess again," I replied. "No way!" she squealed. My little bit of trans education... ;)

So all-in-all, a great weekend, made especially nice by being out with a good friend.

Posted: Mon Jan 22, 2007 10:39 am
by SilverLady(SO)
Hi, Marlena -

I'm glad that Caitlyn and yourself had a great weekend, and that she is so accepting of Marlena! The sales clerk's reaction to seeing your photo - a moment to remember, and what a great compliment!! =D>

(--)

- SL

Posted: Mon Jan 22, 2007 12:48 pm
by Anita
Hi Marlena--
It's a nice account, and I had fun reading it. I love showing pictures, too, because people generally seem to enjoy seeing them. It's like a little magic trick.

Your post makes me nostalgic for LA; I haven't been down there to browse around for way too many years.

Posted: Mon Jan 22, 2007 10:07 pm
by Kyra
Kudos to a great day out, Marlena! =D>

It good to hear of your friend's acceptance. I'm glad you had a great time. I've not really given much thought to carrying a photo of myself. I guess the fear of having the wrong person find it in my wallet is what kept me from doing it. The more positive accounts I hear of, the more I want to do myself. So thanks for fueling my courage! Someday soon I may carry Kyra's photo in my wallet for just such an occasion.

Thanks again!
hugs,
Kyra

Posted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 1:40 am
by Jess(SO)
Glad you had a great weekend

Jess

Posted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 1:57 pm
by Maria
I am glad you had fun going out and about as Marlena in LA! It's wonderful that Caitlyn accepts you as a real friend, whether you are in male or female mode. Showing the photo of yourself as Marlena to the sales clerk was definitely a moment of transgendered outreach.

If I visit LA, I might visit Olveira Street (A historical section near downtown LA) and Disneyland as Maria.

Maria

Posted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 7:26 pm
by Virginia
Hi Marlena,
I just love to read stories about the fun our sisters have when they go out!
It is a real trip so to speak. As for the overall acceptance, I think that in most cases people are so wound up in their own little universe that unless you actually force them in some way to "see" they are lucky that they don't walk into a wall. And cell phones, most of the people that I see anymore have one stuck in their ear and are not even aware of anyone around them!
Love ya,
Virginia