Crossdressers-Haven.com

Well I struggled with writing this as I wanted to include some details, but I also knew details would make it longer. So be warned this is a long post and in multiple parts. There is additional details that I have purposely left out to keep this at least a little shorter.

I do not get out a lot. Most of my CDing is under dressing, unisex clothes, and dressing at home of which I am fine with most of the time. My wife and I took a week vacation and she said to take the last three days for femme time. This would be my first three days straight ever, and they were going to be with my wife who is fairly tolerant, of my CDing. I do not say she is accepting because she still wishes my feminine personality did not have to look feminine. But she has learned some times I just need to have a look more feminine.

So on to my femme time. Sunday, I am up early, shower, shave, shave, tweeze some hairs, shave, lay out my clothes for the day. I then pack up what I can and take what I can out to the van. My wife is up so I let her get ready and go say good by to some friends. Well I spend a bit more time there than what I planned and my wife shows up. So I excuse myself and head up and finish getting ready for the day. Makeup, clothes, wig, and my wife helps some with my makeup since I am running behind. Well finally done and we are out the door with last minute bags in hand, me in a long gray skirt, multi-colored flowered blouse, flats and all the other needed accessories to be out in full femme presentation. Since I was running behind we decide to pass on the Mall of America, which is ok as we were there the night before and other times. So we head towards a movie place we want to go to with the outlet mall near by. Well by the time we get there it is after noon and we are hungry, so we stop at Culvers for some lunch. We do a quick restroom stop on the way in. WOW, that was the first time my wife has had to deal with the restroom issue when out. Now it makes sense her insistence to go in with me. Our other outings we were not out long enough or we found unisex or one person restroom. Well going in we bump into a couple of gals leaving, go, wash and out and no problems. Well we wait in line to order and discuss what we want. My wife seems nervous so I tell her want I want and that I will find us a seat. She seems relieved to hear that. So I get the condiments, napkins, straws, and then my drink. By then my wife is caught up and we find a table together, but we do not have a lot of choice as the place is fairly busy and mostly with families with kids which makes me a bit nervous. We sit and chat as we wait for our food. So far so go, yes getting a few looks, but people are mostly just paying attention to their food and family or group.

Well no longer hungry we head down the street to the outlet mall. First stop is a furniture store. My wife is looking for lamp shades. Once inside we are quickly greeted, "hello ladies, how can I help you". My wife is quick to respond that we are looking for lamp shades, but they do not have just shades. The SA proceeds to talk for another few minutes and I wander off and look around. My wife joins me after the SA quits talking. My wife is quick to ask “so how did that make you feel being refered to as a lady. Personally I am indifferent to it since I am more of a guy in a dress type of CDer, but it is nice to know I am presenting a decent feminine. We are called the ladies or similar several times in the next days. We look around a bit and then decide to push on.

On to the main outlet mall area, the access road and parking lot are busy. We try to see what stores are here for where to park and actually find a place close to the stores and not in the back of the parking lot, which is good because it is warm out. We first go to a Sally Beauty supply store as we are looking for a eyelash curler and some other things, but find nothing. On to the clothing and other stores, we hit several including Lane Bryant, but do not really find anything that says “take me home”. Our last store is the Pyrex and other kitchen and household items store. We just wander but actually find something. Replacement lids for the Pyrex glass pans to replace one that some guy lost some place. At least we had something to show we were there and got some guys butt saved from getting reminded again he lost it. Well my wife decides she needs to head for the restroom, so I say and pay and meet her outside.

My how time flies when one is shopping, it is now getting movie time, so back to our vehicle and head the 3 miles down the interstate in the slow and go traffic on a Sunday afternoon. More of those weekend lake goers that we seen at lunch heading home. Well my wife steps up and gets tickets and we head in. We both opt to pass on the munchies as we are both still full from lunch. But I decide on a restroom stop as I know it is a long movie. So in we both go and it seems fairly empty. As I get into a stall, there in an influx of gals like a movie just got out. Well I do what I came to do, doors opening and closing on both sides of me. Before I am done it is quiet again and my wife checks on me why I am taking so long. Well all I can say is us CDers should never say anything to our wife’s about how long they take to use the restroom. It takes some time to neatly pull down a skirt, slip, padded panty, high waist long leg panty girdle, tights, and panty, do what we need to do and then reverse it making sure all is in place and looks good without a mirror in a tight place. So we head into the movie and we both get our 3d glasses being handed out by some kid as we go in. We scope out a place and get seated. After sitting we realize that the railing is in our line of sight and discuss moving. The guy next to us says he sits there all the time and it can not really be seen. But we decide to move one row back anyway. Another group comes and sits right where we were and once settled in and one goes for food, the gal realizes the same thing as us and discuss it again with the guy next to them and us. She decides to move as more of her party shows up. Well the gal that went for the food returns and is confused as they left her. Well only up one row to our right. Again a discussion commences with everyone involved. The gals decide to move back and the kids do what kids do, and head closer to the front. We talk for a bit with them and one of the gals gets the look and short stare that she makes me or at least questions me as it is not the best lighting in there. A bit more talk and they are settled in to watch the movie. And the whole time I think it is warm in the theater. I end up blotting off some of the sweat that has formed on my forehead and back of my neck and cool down enough to settle in before the movie starts. Towards the end of the movie a get warm again and move forward in the seat some to cool down. I guess this is what I get for the layers I am wearing. I am glad I was not wearing a corset instead of the girdle. Well movie ends and I blot off the sweat again and check with my wife on the condition of my makeup. She says ok but a bit worn. We make another restroom stop on the way out and check makeup and do a good blotting of sweat making sure to make sure my wig is still on right.

Back at our vehicle we decide to head toward where we are staying for the night. Along the way we see a Target store and stop to see what they have for lamp shades and pick up some other things. With our purchases in hand we head back to our vehicle. We decide to get some supper before moving on. We end up deciding on something lighter, so just get some fast food tacos. We do a restroom break on the way in. Hum, beginning to think my name is Karren but I do not have a camera along. Well we eat with out any problems and then head towards the area we want to stay. Well we find no place to stay in the area even after driving around some, so we stop and my wife goes to ask someone. We had driven all around where it was. Must be the guy of me. End of day one.

KimberlyS-CD

Standard disclaimer: Going out of the house was right for me, it may or may not be right for you. If you've got no desire to leave the house, that's fine, I'm not trying to push you out the door. But for those who've been yearning to do so, I just want to let you know the world may not be as scary a place as you think.

Day two, get up and ready. I am in a jean skirt, blue flowered blouse, heels, and all needed femme accessories. We decide to go to Perkins for breakfast/lunch/brunch what ever we decide to order. We have a nice meal. My wife pays and gets some extra muffins to go while I do a restroom stop. I was really trying to limit my fluid intake, but it must also have something to do with my girdle, and maybe some nerves. Well on to shopping, first stop is a shade store. Bonus, they are having a moving sale. After a lot of looking my wife decides on some shades, we put them in our vehicle and check out some of the other stores in the strip mall then back on the road again. We move on to some other shade stores to look. Lots of shades, nothing better than what we have already. So lots of looking and nothing we wanted so we decide to start heading towards our stay for the night. Along the way we stop at a large mall. We do some looking at Sears. We do not find anything but I decide to see if they had a gown I tried on a while back and liked to show my wife. We wander and look for them and they end up being in the back of the store. They have one in a smaller size. We talk about it and if I would have gotten it she would have had to take it from me as she loved it. Hum, guess we have similar tastes in some things. Restroom is right where we are, so I decide on a stop the way I have been going. We then start towards the rest of the mall going by the woman’s department. I look through and pull my wife in. She is not really interested in looking, but I had seen a cute top. Well I must have started something as she sees more and more things she likes and before long has an arm full and I have 1 pair of jeans. I take some off her pile and carry them and we head to the fitting rooms. My wife steps into a large room and has me come with her so I can see how things fit. Wow, that would make things easier than our normal way of me standing outside and her coming out to show me the different things she likes. Well my wife ends up deciding to get most of what she tried on and I decide to get the jeans I tried on. Now I know, it goes against being a CDer to buy jeans, but hey, they did fit good and never knew when I may need to wear a pair.

Well we finish up there and then head for the main mall area and check out several stores as we walk through and back but not seeing much. We stopped in the Lane Bryant store to look. I love their clothes and they have been having a lot of things on clearance. We divide and each look at what we like. My wife comes up to me and says “we are not the only ones here” and I am confused. “We are not the only couple here”, and I am being really dense I guess and she says “there is another cross dresser here”. Ah, now I understand and she describes and tells me wear they are and says she is even holding up clothes to him and every thing. I say I will check them out and she goes back to shopping. I finish looking through the rack I am on and wander to the area she told me about to look. Sure enough it looked like another CDer and his wife to me. Or it could have been a less pretty woman with many male physical features. I know I do not pass and this CDer had me beat. But while having many male physical features, the attire was a very blending look. Actually more of a blending look than myself, as I had on long sleeves and it was hot out, this CDer had on a short sleeve top. I just shopped and watched them for a bit. I had never really seen the reactions of others to a CDer other then from within. There were 3 SA’s in the store and about 15 other customers and you want to know something. The only reaction I seen was a gal that almost bumped into the couple and she seemed surprise at the height of the CDer which made sense because the gal was short and the cder towered over her. But she quickly went back to her shopping. I continued my shopping and kept an eye on this couple. They just kept on shopping and were just two more customers in the store. I got this warm and fuzzy feeling inside that things were really like I told others and being out and not passing was possible. And I thought back to the forums and all those CDers that say that they could never go out because they could not pass. And here I had been watching a CDer and SO shopping with others around and it was not an issue. I wanted to go up to the CDer and SO and tell them I was proud of them, but I also did not want to spoil their time out and shopping. My wife came back from trying some things on and was empty handed, so it was time for us to go.

Down the road we headed towards the next outlet mall. We figured we would be getting there just at closing time, but we could still see what stores were there. And sure enough when we pulled in the parking lot looked fairly empty, except for a few stores which must have stayed open later. We decided to check out one of the lingerie stores and sure enough we had 45 minutes. We are greeted promptly as we enter the store and just say we are looking. So the gal goes back to training a new person it seems. We wander and I see a couple of possibilities and so does my wife. So I go back and look for my sizes and then head for the fitting rooms. My wife is shortly behind me in a different room. I have one possibility for me if it is in one size larger and my wife is already out and waiting. I put back what does not work and ask the SA if they have the one I like in a size larger as I did not see any. She goes to a different area and they sure do. So I pay for my purchase with my male CC and she asked for my ID, so male ID it is. She says thank you for shopping and lets us out as she has already locked up the door to keep new customers out. Back in our vehicle my wife says something about the person getting exposure to a CDer right away. We decide not a lot more we really want to see in the mall so opt to head farther down the road before finding a place to stay. We end up eating supper at an Applebee’s on the way. The place was hoping for a Monday night at 8:30. It seem to be the hand out for teens and my wife over hears there was some kids dance recital that just got done. The teens make me nervous but shouldn’t as I have yet to have any problems with them. And again this time we have no problems or comments from anyone. Just the normal looks people do to check out who is around them. Maybe my wife seen some, but she did not say anything. But she is also much more relaxed than she has been in the past which has been just wonderful for been out and about with her. Well we of course stop at the restroom on the way out. It is a small restroom, there are two teens and now three of us waiting to use the one stall. My wife talks with the gals as I wait in line behind her hopefully not seeming as nervous as I am on the inside. The one thing I really was not ready for was waiting in line. I always had, go in, go, wash get out in my mind and here I am standing in line in the women’s restroom. I was glad to have my wife there to make the conversation and to kind of hind behind, as if that was possible with her 5-2, and me 5-8 in heels. One down, then two and my wife lets me go ahead of her and when I am done it is just us left. I wash and begin to wait as another gal comes in. Lucky I was not facing the door. I just do a slow turn as the gal comes in and exit waiting outside. Once out my wife asked if she seen me. I said I was facing away from the door. That seemed to make her a bit relieved. We head down the road again and find a place for the night. End of Day 2.

Day three. My wife had hinted the night before that it would be nice if I wore my new jeans the next day instead of a skirt like I had the other days. So that is what I wore for the day, jeans, blue blouse with ruffles and heels and all needed femme accessories. We actually catch the end of the continental breakfast for the first time. Yes blame me all the time. We eat a little then go in search of some antique stores. Well on the way there we come across a thrift store and stop. I do a quick look as my wife does not really like thrift store, but she is finding some things. And finding plus sizes in thrift stores can some times be very little. I go back and grab a couple of things that I thought were cute and find a few more and then look for my wife. She is not to be seen but both fitting rooms are full it looks so I head that way and wait. When the other one comes available I scoot into that one. I find couple of tops and my wife says they would look good on me, and she has a sweater and a pair of jeans. And we move on to our original destination. Well we never ever really expect to get anything from antique stores, but we always seem to find things. So 4 or was it 5 antique stores and we find something at every one of them except one. And we head towards home as we have our kids to pick up and about 4 hours of driving to do. We had decided to stop at a town nearer the kids that we thought had a unisex-family restroom. Well upon getting there, they do not and the setup was not one that I could change in a stall and sneak out. So a quick discussion and we opt for my wife to drive and I will change and cleanup on the road. It actually goes a lot better than I expected, especially the makeup removal with bottled water, face cleanser and paper towels.

So that was the recent outing my wife and me enfemme were on. My wife spent some time through out our three days evaluating my looks and ways I could blend in better. One was of course to ditch the skirts and heels.

Sorry for being so long for those that like quick reads. And sorry for lack of detail for those that like a novel.

KimberlyS

Standard disclaimer: Going out of the house was right for me, it may or may not be right for you. If you've got no desire to leave the house, that's fine, I'm not trying to push you out the door. But for those who've been yearning to do so, I just want to let you know the world may not be as scary a place as you think.

That's so cool, and also being able to share the experience with your wife.

Hi Kim,

Great story. You must have had a ball - I enjoyed every moment along with you. Thanks for sharing.

Hugs,

Lydia

Kimberly,

Thank you so much for sharing your adventure with us! I know you are right in that it is not quite as scary as some may believe. As you surmise, act like you belong where you are; dress appropriately; and smile, honey, smile!!!!

I am glad you had a "successful" venture!

What we would like to hear about now, is any discussions you had with your wife either about this outting or your next one!

Love ya,

Virginia

Thanks Donna, it is great to be able to be out with my wife. This is the most comfortable she has been when out with. I know that she still does not like it. But it is still great to be out and have time together instead of doing things apart from each other. For the most part in our marriage we have done most things together when possible. BTW, my wife does not think it is Cool being able to share the CDing experience with me. (her words)

Thanks Lydia, did have a nice relaxing time. I just wish my wife could enjoy and relax as much as I can. But I also understand some from her point of view. I am basically in disguise and would not be seen as my male self. She is still herself.

Thank you for your response Virgina. Interesting reading your post and then my wife asks me why I feel the need to post it. It is kind of multi-functional in many ways. Wanting to share the good feeling from an enjoyable outing. Wanting to show others that want to get out that it is possible to get out. And there are many things to do when going out. Not just going to a TG/CD friendly club.

As for discussions with my wife. It went ok. Let see how did she put that..
A negative wife can learn to accept it and still not like it. And IMHO that is why for a successful outing we needed to do things that we both enjoyed doing. Then while I may be enfemme, she can still enjoy doing part of it and hopefully enjoy the time we are spending together.

As for the next one who knows. It is not usually something we plan way ahead of time. And this one happened to work out at part of our vacation time (of which the first part of the week was for a conference working on the CDing issues within relationships). My wife did mention that she was thinking of maybe going to HEF, (to give me more time CDing) at the end of this year. But at this point she has had her fill of CDing and I have backed off my CDing and need to do it more. We are still very actively working on finding where my CDing fits within our marriage. What I feel I need and what she can handle. And still for me I often have a hard time talking to my wife about my CDing. That is one plus of writing and posting for me. As I can write it down and then have her read it.

KimberlyS-CD

Way to go Kim......glad you had fun

Lori

Thanks for posting Kim. It's always fun to read about these things and I thought the part about the other CDer was very interesting.

As for your wife, she sounds way past tolerant to me. Her suggesting you take 3 days for this is something I hope you expressed profound appreciation to her for. What a wonderful woman you are married to.

Absaroka

Hi Kimberly--
That was fun to read, and it seemed to go well for you. You and your wife are working together on this. I'm not sure what her statement meant about it not being cool to be able to share the CDing experience, though.
I know she's not enthused about it, but I would think that she might consider it an interesting experiment.

I know in my own experience that compromises like this one are tricky. I would be doing something that my partner wanted to do, and I didn't particularly want to do it. Yet there would be unique experiences and feelings that would happen for me, good ones even.

I'd enjoy them, and yet I'd be reluctant to fully share them, because then I'd be setting myself up for appearing to approve of what we'd been doing. It's a very push-pull kind of feeling, doing compromises as a couple.

I'm not saying that I'd refuse to acknowledge the good feelings to my partner--I would, to some extent. But I also didn't want her to get her expectations up that my overall feelings had changed, either. It sounds like you and she are taking it step-by-step on your outings.

Lori, Absaroka, and Anita: sorry for the slowness of my response. I did not have time to get on last night. Thank you all for you replies.

Anita wrote:... You and your wife are working together on this. I'm not sure what her statement meant about it not being cool to be able to share the CDing experience, though.
I know she's not enthused about it, but I would think that she might consider it an interesting experiment.
I know in my own experience that compromises like this one are tricky.
.... It sounds like you and she are taking it step-by-step on your outings.

Anita, yes you basically answered your own question. My wife sees my cding as my thing and she accepts it is part of me, but does not like it. But while it is my thing she does make time for me to CD, helps with makeup, clothes and such, and will talk about it. And she has now been on 3 outing weekends with me, but it was for me and she was along. Yes it went well this last time, but it was still for me. Yes I would like her to get more enjoyment out of it, and it may come same day or it may not. For know that is how it is. And we are continuing to actively work to figure out how my feminine part fits within our marriage. With this comes compromise in both directions. In a year it could look completely different.


KimberlyS-CD

Kimberley

Thanks for sharing your story. So cool. I know your wife is not accepting but you know what, she has done something not too many wives would do - going out in public with you. So that in itself is an accomplishment. I would take that and try and build on it, slow but surely as and when discussions come up from time to time about your CDing. Knowing her boundaries and comfort level - as well as what she doesn't care for is important to maintain that delicate balance. As long as you do, I'm sure she will continue to participate when she is ready again.

Anyway, I wish you luck, and at least you now have something nice to look back on. Way to go girl!

Stephanie