Not TG After All
Posted: Sat Jun 14, 2008 10:29 am
I haven't posted here in a long time and no longer attend support group meetings. In case you didn't see my final post in another forum a few months ago, I wanted to assure you that I'm okay.
For almost a year, Maggie has stopped being part of my life. Some of you may be curious to know why.
As I discussed in some of my previous posts, my creation of "Maggie" came at a particularly stressful time in my life, which stirred up issues dating back to certain childhood traumas. I originally intended Maggie strictly for theatrical purposes, but I then discovered that she relieved my stress offstage as well.
Although I insisted that I was simply an "actor" who occasionally performed in drag, just about everyone I encountered in the TG community urged me to accept the fact that I was inherently transgendered, that Maggie was the "real" me, and that there was nothing I could do to change this. This view was reinforced by articles on the Internet and by various professional experts whom I consulted. One of my therapists explicitly said she was only interested in helping me to accept and accommodate my transgenderism. For a while, I seriously considered transitioning.
However, I discovered that I was not typical of the other TG's that I had met or that my therapists usually counseled, in that I viewed Maggie and my male self as being two totally separate and distinct persons. After much counseling and introspection (which I won't burden you with), I was finally able to understand and resolve the issues that had been bothering me as a man. Maggie had been a temporary quick fix to my stress, but now I see her as being both unnecessary and maladaptive. She is no longer relevant to my life. I am back to feeling happy and to loving myself as a man. I am now divorced and have a loving relationship with a woman. I still think that Maggie was a great character and that I was very talented to have portrayed her as well as I did. However, I have no interest in continuing that performance.
I am writing this to give some closure to this episode in my life. I wish to emphasize that my experience is based on a unique set of circumstances that are specific to me, which may be totally inapplicable to the vast majority of transgender persons. I fully accept the fact that true transgenderism is a condition that people are born with and that probably can't be changed. However, it turned out that I was not one of those people.
My final message is that not everyone in the TG and CDing community has the same motivations as everyone else. Just because people try to convince you that you are transgender doesn't necessarily mean that you are.
Best wishes to all,
The Actor Formerly Known as Maggie
For almost a year, Maggie has stopped being part of my life. Some of you may be curious to know why.
As I discussed in some of my previous posts, my creation of "Maggie" came at a particularly stressful time in my life, which stirred up issues dating back to certain childhood traumas. I originally intended Maggie strictly for theatrical purposes, but I then discovered that she relieved my stress offstage as well.
Although I insisted that I was simply an "actor" who occasionally performed in drag, just about everyone I encountered in the TG community urged me to accept the fact that I was inherently transgendered, that Maggie was the "real" me, and that there was nothing I could do to change this. This view was reinforced by articles on the Internet and by various professional experts whom I consulted. One of my therapists explicitly said she was only interested in helping me to accept and accommodate my transgenderism. For a while, I seriously considered transitioning.
However, I discovered that I was not typical of the other TG's that I had met or that my therapists usually counseled, in that I viewed Maggie and my male self as being two totally separate and distinct persons. After much counseling and introspection (which I won't burden you with), I was finally able to understand and resolve the issues that had been bothering me as a man. Maggie had been a temporary quick fix to my stress, but now I see her as being both unnecessary and maladaptive. She is no longer relevant to my life. I am back to feeling happy and to loving myself as a man. I am now divorced and have a loving relationship with a woman. I still think that Maggie was a great character and that I was very talented to have portrayed her as well as I did. However, I have no interest in continuing that performance.
I am writing this to give some closure to this episode in my life. I wish to emphasize that my experience is based on a unique set of circumstances that are specific to me, which may be totally inapplicable to the vast majority of transgender persons. I fully accept the fact that true transgenderism is a condition that people are born with and that probably can't be changed. However, it turned out that I was not one of those people.
My final message is that not everyone in the TG and CDing community has the same motivations as everyone else. Just because people try to convince you that you are transgender doesn't necessarily mean that you are.
Best wishes to all,
The Actor Formerly Known as Maggie
Best of luck with your new life and your new SO. Its wonderful to see someone take such positive steps one way or the other. The future is yours..enjoy life!!!!