Things are looking up now

[CharLee]

I just felt that I have to share my good news to give hope to all those who are going through what I have been going through for the last year.

A quick background history. When first we got together ( 26 years ago ) I told my wife of my CDing and she was ok with it as long as I kept it private and at home. She even enjoyed our private times when I was en femme and it stayed that way for years.
Fast forward. Two years ago we joined a support group and she was an active member. Ten months ago I told her of my need and desire to be out in the open more readily and my desire to live as a woman. That when things started going south on us. She started to resent my dressing and going to meetings. Her attitude changed from acceptance to out and out rejection of my dressing. Even though we talked about this issue at length and had come to a resolution she still gave off negative vibes everytime I would dress. Eventually she stopped going to meetings and didn't want me getting dressed anymore when she was home, I if i were dressed she insisted that I changed back into drab before she got home from work.

Let me back up a moment. My CDing is known by my family members and a few close friends. Most of which accept and don't care one way or another if I am dressed or not. Some choose not to see me as my female personna, and that's OK, I respect their wishes. I can understand my wife's feeling of loosing her husband because of me being TG, but it is something I can not control or want to.

So the other day we sat down and had another discussion about this and we came to a resolution and an agreement. I am now able to be dressed anytime I want and for as long as I want ( or need to be ) without her rejection or being upset about it. There will no longer be bringing up things that have gone down in the past over this and no negative comments on her part. In exchange for this I will be more attentative to her needs and wants in whatever she wants to do.

So here I sit in all my feminine glory, being the woman I feel I should be and enjoying peace in my house for the first time in a long time.

So for all of you out there who have been going through a similar situation, take heart and keep the lines of communication open, be totally honest with your partner and you too might see light at the end of the tunnel.

From one happy woman to all of you, may your days of struggle come to a happy ending like mine did.


CharLee

[DonnaT]

It's good to hear y'all are working it out, together. Congrats.

[Cassidy Jaye]

i did get here charlee but how i get back to the forum is beyond me, thank you for trying to teach me however. this is all alice in wonderland so far.

[CathyD]

CharLee, I'm so very happy for you!!!

[Carol Ann]

Yes CharLee there is always light at the end of the tunnel.

[Lydia]

Hi Charlee,

I am delighted to hear of your progress. Indeed - honesty and frankness is essential in any relationship. But LOVE conquers all.

Love & Hugs,

Lydia

[Wendae]

Carol Ann, send someone to change the light bulb in my tunnel!

[Cassidy Jaye]

char--i read your post but didn't really reply last night because, as a computer airhead, i was worried about how to get out of this posting place and back to the chat room where we could talk more "face to face." my alice in wonderland comment was just about me feeling lost and not about your situation--sorry if you misunderstood. but to the important point--you and your relationship: i am so glad for you and so happy for any of my new sisters when i hear they have a woman in their lives who accepts and does her best to accept the complex ball of waxes that we trans-type people are. i think of the ignorant comments i read on youtube when i visit a transgendered girls website. stuff like "why don't you just be a man?" first, what the hell are they watching for if they're so offended? and second, go sit on a rattlesnake. people who communicate and share and love are like water in a desert, and i'm glad to hear that you have such a nice spouse in such a nice oasis. ~cassidy jaye

[Absaroka]

Char Lee it's nice to hear from you again and I'm glad to hear it's going well. Be sure to let your actions show your wife how much you appreciate what she has done.

Zari

[Kimberly Kael]

I'm so happy for you, CharLee. I know this is something you've been wishing for. I hope you can resist the temptation to go overboard on your side of the bargain. Remember to spoil her enough that it still sounds like a good deal from her perspective after a week, a month, a year ...