How can I connect?

NancyK · Post by **NancyK** » Wed Aug 10, 2011 3:30 pm

I've crossdressed on and off for most of my life but the past three years I've been really been very active, in private. That's my source of frustration. I participate in a local forum in which girls often ask for a chance to meet others but whenever I try to suggest getting together nothing seems to click. I'm 63 and not nearly as attractive as many of the younger girls but among other cders I seem to fit well enough. My days of late night drinking sessions are over I'm afraid but others seem to be interested in more sedate activities too. Are cders naturally cautious? Should I be more cautious myself? Am I more naive than know? Any tips on how I can manage to meet people with the same interests?
Nancy

Paula G · Post by **Paula G** » Wed Aug 10, 2011 4:58 pm

Well you have taken the first step with this post, I don't know about your locality but in the UK there are a lot of local support groups, many run under the auspices of the Beaumont group. Maybe someone here or in your local forum can suggest a local support group.

I think many of us are cautious, or maybe fearful of exposure, and the implications for our loved ones if we are too open. However it is good to be out, to meet other CDs, and indeed to go out into the world at large, large and scary though it can be.

I hope you find the opportunity to get out and meet up with some like minded individuals soon.

Post by **DonnaT** » Wed Aug 10, 2011 5:35 pm

Age may be an issue. A place to meet may be another.

Then there is the question of whether everyone wants to meet enfemme or not.

Wellington Stake House (Restaurant) 2121 S. Arlington Heights Rd., Arlington Heights, IL 60005 @ S. Arlington Heights Rd. and north of Algonquin Rd. is known to be TG friendly as is the Big Shot (Lounge-Piano Bar) 2 S. Vail Ave., Arlington Heights, IL 60005 @ S. Vail Ave. and W. Campbell St.

Post by **KimberlyS** » Wed Aug 10, 2011 11:21 pm

I have found going out to eat a good thing to do either with someone or alone. You can ask at the meeting if they ever go out to eat as a group? Or ask if someone there would be interested joining you for a meal either before or after the meeting.

Carolyn Summers · Post by **Carolyn Summers** » Thu Aug 11, 2011 7:46 pm

I understand your feelings. I dressed in private and secretly for 50 years. I'm in my 60's also. You live in an area that is bustling with CD activities.

My first time out with other girls was at Big Shot, a piano bar. Girls meet there the third Wed. of every month. It is a great time to socialize, enjoy a good meal and listen to good music.

If that is not what you are ready for you should look into a group called Chicago Gender Society. They have activities all year round. Valentine's Day, New Years, Mardi Gra, are just a few. I attended those. They also meet twice a month usually for a meal and socializing.

I participate mostly with a group of girls called ChicagoLandTGirls. On their site you can find out when and where girls are meeting. For example you could say you would like to go out to see a movie tomorrow night and if anyone is interested in joining you they would respond. You could then decide the theater and movie you would meet at. There are girls from as far away as Wisconsin and Indiana that attend these activities.

A word of warning though. Once you leave your sactuary and get out with others like you, you will want to go out more and more. It's a compulsion almost as strong as dressing itself.

NancyK · Post by **NancyK** » Sun Aug 14, 2011 11:58 am

Thank you girls for the encouragement and the advice. I think I will look at the gender society site and try to find a night I can get away (wife doesn't know and would never ever accept Nancy). Like many of you I have collected a nice wardrobe surreptitiously of course and I'd love to get out. Thanks again, you have really made me feel that there is hope.
Nancy