Well i finally told my Wife

Giselle · Post by **Giselle** » Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:14 pm

Hi Girls:

a couple of weeks ago i treated myself to a makeover at a Toronto MAC
Cosmetics Store. as i was sitting in the chair admiring the job the makeup
artist did on me i decided when i got home i was going to tell my wife
about my desire to wear women's clothes.
For the first few days things were horrid, my wife cried constantly and
wouldn't let me comfort her. as the days went on she started to come
around a bit and asking me questions. the most frequent being "are
you gay" and "do you want to have a sex change operation"
while things are still in unknown territory my wife still loves me and i
love her even more than before. we decided to give it a year and see
how things go and if we then parted we would part as friends. i couldn't ask for anything more. special thanks to those gals here who gave me
advice and understanding for the past couple of years, i love you all xoxoox

Anita · Post by **Anita** » Mon Jul 04, 2011 5:03 pm

For the first few days things were horrid, my wife cried constantly and
wouldn't let me comfort her.

I think that's everyone's worst nightmare, so you got through that part, Giselle. I wish you and your wife the best in the days ahead. I hope you can reach a working agreement.

Susan · Post by **Susan** » Mon Jul 04, 2011 6:15 pm

Giselle

That sounds so much like my experience. I got all those questions too and had the histrionics. Thankfully that is now many years in the past and we have a truce in place that means we can carry on as 'normal'

Good luck for the future.

Davita · Post by **Davita** » Mon Jul 04, 2011 7:47 pm

Giselle, just remember two things:
1) Don't make a crazy promise for the sake of the moment. It can get worse if you fail that promise.

2) "I don't know" is a valid answer to some questions. We don't have to understand it all; we are what we are. We also can't predict the future in some cases.

Now you have to be patient with all you do. If things go well, this was your first step to the next step.

Michelle M · Post by **Michelle M** » Mon Jul 04, 2011 8:30 pm

Glad to hear you're out of the closet. I hope things go well from here on out. It takes time I guess. My wife is still getting used to the dressing idea. Good luck!

CharLee · Post by **CharLee** » Mon Jul 04, 2011 9:51 pm

Good for you Gigi, I bet you feel a tremendous weight has been lifted from your shoulders now. I know how difficult that must have been for both you and your wife, but at least it is out in the open now.

Just remember to take it slow and give her time to adjust to it. As it is always said here " baby steps, baby steps" don't go into a pink fog and overload her all at once. Keep the lines of communication always open and discuss everything with her and listen to her concerns. Make sure before you dress that she is " OK " with it, ask her if it will be alright if you do so, don't suddenly appear before her en femme or you will be riding the horrid " roller coaster ride " for a long time.

Take what she will allow now, and work on a compromise for you to be dressed more in the future as she becomes more comfortable seeing you en femme.

In any event, I'm glad for you hon and good luck

Carol Ann · Post by **Carol Ann** » Tue Jul 05, 2011 7:39 am

Giselle,
I am both happy and sad for you, happy you are out to your wife but sad because she will not let you comfort her. CharLess makes a very good point, now is the time for real baby steps until she has time to get it all stright in her head and think about it.

Also don't over whelm her by dolling up head to foot all of a sudden, as for me I wouldn't lose the love of my life over it but a year to work things out is a good idea as you both will know which way the road goes. Good luck my dear

Post by **DonnaT** » Tue Jul 05, 2011 10:38 am

Best wishes as y'all go forward, Giselle.

There will likely be disagreements, just don't let them become arguments.

Giselle · Post by **Giselle** » Tue Jul 05, 2011 12:07 pm

just a quick note to say thank you once again sisters, the future is unclear but with your help; and solid advice; my wife and i will get to a place where
both of us can be happy and lead our lives the way we want too. again many thanks!

JoAnnDallas · Post by **JoAnnDallas** » Sun Aug 28, 2011 1:53 pm

I told my wife back in 2005. It was hard at first too. She was more mad than anything else. Soon after I found the local Tri-Ess chapter and started going to the meetings. Then I convinced her to go with me and she got to meet some of the other wives. It really helped her to understand things. Today, I am pretty much full time en fem on weekends and wife and I go everywhere together.
So give her some time. If there is a support group near you, see about joining. If the members wives also attend meeting, see if your wife will go with you. Also I found it has helped a lot that we both see a Gender Therapist. Your wife will have questions that you may not be able to answer that only another SO or Therapist can answer. Remember you may have other CD sisters that you can talk to, but she has no one she can.

Paula G · Post by **Paula G** » Mon Aug 29, 2011 4:22 am

I do hope things work out for you and your wife, at the very least you have done the right thing and you have been honest with her. Like Susan my wife was the opposite of accepting and understanding, while she still does not approve she is coming to a point where she realises that my CD will not go away and there is some sort of understanding that we will carry on as "normal" as long as she doesn't know anything about Paula or her forays out. I still hope for more, but am glad for what I have.

Anne Bonny · Post by **Anne Bonny** » Mon Aug 29, 2011 7:35 am

Amazing how WE can be "the other woman", and If we were like this prior to marriage, and most all of us are - we have committed a breech of trust by lying and covering up who we really are inside prior to our marriage commitment. Women generally expect to fill the conventional roll society has carved out exclusively for females - funny how men are expected to take part in child rearing, cooking, housework and to be more sensitive by listening and talking because this comes naturally to women yet we are still excluded from that exclusive role women enjoy. Thus when we admit that our gender and our desires are split most conventional women will have difficulty accepting that - The "are you gay, and do you want a sex change" question are universal and top their list of fears. They married a conventional man because that is what they desired and wanted. We ask alot of women when we are not honest and forthcoming prior to marriage - My wife has accepted it and is ok with my dressing, I tell her I am sorry, and apologize on occasion but she tells me It's ok, that I am fine - I believe once they realize we are the same person, alot of women are able to accept us just the way we are. Respecting some boundaries they may have also helps increase their comfort level and acceptance. I have not outed myself to family, the public, or our two teenage boys. My parents never knew about Anne.

Crossdressers-Haven.com

Well i finally told my Wife

Well i finally told my Wife

thanks again