Bliss: a state or feeling of perfect happiness. Or a state of spiritual blessedness. Joy: great pleasure and happiness. A cause of great pleasure and happiness. Yes! Having accepted myself several years ago, I still had to work through some issues about all of this. We want people to understand us, we want acceptance, support, love and encouragement to be who we are. My wife fortunately is completely accepting, I am so sad that she now has dementia. This is my life partner - that hurts and I would be working were it not for that and we are very fortunate that we have the income for us to live so that I can care for her. God is merciful, and He has provided for us. Thanks be to God. That is my spirituality, our belief and it serves us very well. But I had issues. I have a full wardrobe, lingerie, Jewelry, Make-up, Perfume and were I to choose to do so I could burn all of my masculine clothing I would have all that I need though I would then begin to expand my wordrobe of course even more if womens clothing were to be the only clothing I were going to wear from now on of course. It has taken 14Years!??? to finally realize that my wife really does not mind if I wear dresses, make-up etc.... This morning I gave us both manicures and pedicures, I am wearing a bra under a white top, I have worn a bikini and laid out to catch some sun while reading a book written for women. I can relax now, I am completely accepted and loved. I am free to be who I am! This is such a little thing - but most of society is locked into labeling and persecuting us. I realize as well that Our Church would consist of that part of society which would do so and they would kick me out of the church I am sure, but that is another issue. I realize that I should be able to be who I am infront of my neighbors, our friends, in public - BUT that Is why I say Partial bliss because I do not desire at this time to have to burn bridges and work to develop new friends, estrange family, and to damage my esteme and reputation in public. I am not sure If I will come out more in the future perhaps to a few close friends. Surely my dying my wife's hair, My doing her nails, and shaving her legs, and applying make up and ear rings, and attractive clothing reveals my skill at maintaining my wife's beauty in her style when she is obviousty not capable of doing so is some kind of disclosure that I have this skill. Oh well, I do not care. Have a nice day girls!
One thought I left out - One of those issues was feeling comfortable dressing, or wearing a bra, certainly a bikini infront of my wife, openly doing my nails in front of her - I had to fully accept that my wife has no problem with any of this and is fully accepting - I takes time to believe that myself which has happened finally only recently - and it is wonderful. I can shave my legs, wear polish on my toes, and just be who I am comfortably in what ever gender my little heart desires.
Partial Bliss achieved?
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Anne Bonny
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Partial Bliss achieved?
Last edited by Anne Bonny on Thu Sep 08, 2011 10:19 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Anne Bonny
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- Location: The Gulf Coast
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Leeza
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Anne, I am sorry to hear about your wife's condition. I know it is hard to watch someone you love lose their ability to do the things they used to do.
I think there are a number of us whose retirement is not going the way it was planned.
My wife and I had planned on traveling after retirement. We have enough kids that we figured we could spend time with each of them and some time on our own. Then the next year make the rounds again.
Due to wife's health she is house bound and her travel is to the dr office a couple of times a year and I had to retire about 5 years before I planned to to take care of her.
Believe me I am not complaining, just stating fact. I learned a long time ago to be able to change plans.
Leeza
I think there are a number of us whose retirement is not going the way it was planned.
My wife and I had planned on traveling after retirement. We have enough kids that we figured we could spend time with each of them and some time on our own. Then the next year make the rounds again.
Due to wife's health she is house bound and her travel is to the dr office a couple of times a year and I had to retire about 5 years before I planned to to take care of her.
Believe me I am not complaining, just stating fact. I learned a long time ago to be able to change plans.
Leeza
Leeza
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Anne Bonny
- Miss Diamond Goddess
- Posts: 2577
- Joined: Sat May 09, 2009 9:22 am
- Location: The Gulf Coast
Hi Leeza,
and all, We are in the same boat, it is heart breaking to see the one you love slowly drifting away. As an RN, I am qualified, and realized that after hiring a licenced and bonded sitter at $16 per hour for 10 hours a day, 5 days a week the cost would be prohibitive and gobble up probably 2/3rds of any income I would make (and though she will receive full social security and medicare (should she live that long) she does not qualify for SSI, or early social security because she worked for the state of Illinois for a time as a professor of nursing and they paid into the state system, instead of social security) - So, I became the care giver too. We are very fortunate, that I was able to retire retire and continue to live in comfort. Even so I can't help feeling I have another 10-15 years and I should be working - I feel I am wasting myself - but taking care of my wife, raising our boys, and being a housewife is a full time job.
And you are right - we make the best we can out of our situation, get out and about, and we are fortunate to be living on waterfront with a beautiful view, blue herons, skimmers, pelicans and seagulls; and wonderful sunsets.
and all, We are in the same boat, it is heart breaking to see the one you love slowly drifting away. As an RN, I am qualified, and realized that after hiring a licenced and bonded sitter at $16 per hour for 10 hours a day, 5 days a week the cost would be prohibitive and gobble up probably 2/3rds of any income I would make (and though she will receive full social security and medicare (should she live that long) she does not qualify for SSI, or early social security because she worked for the state of Illinois for a time as a professor of nursing and they paid into the state system, instead of social security) - So, I became the care giver too. We are very fortunate, that I was able to retire retire and continue to live in comfort. Even so I can't help feeling I have another 10-15 years and I should be working - I feel I am wasting myself - but taking care of my wife, raising our boys, and being a housewife is a full time job.
And you are right - we make the best we can out of our situation, get out and about, and we are fortunate to be living on waterfront with a beautiful view, blue herons, skimmers, pelicans and seagulls; and wonderful sunsets.