What Should I Do ?

[ArleneMcCarthy]

I have a crush on a CD that I've know for a few years. She is married, my question is " Should I tell her of my feelings toward her"? I believe she is straight.

[Carol Ann]

IMP No, she is a married person, big question is does she know you are also a CD'er?.

[DonnaT]

Not a good idea.

[Leeza]

I would not tell of my feeling towards her. It could very easy put a strain on your friendship at the least.

I wouldn't want to be a party to breaking up a marriage. Then there is the thing of, if you was able to tempt her, what makes you think that she would be true to you?

[ArleneMcCarthy]

Thank you ladies for your sound advice. She's a CD, we have attended many CD events together.

[Davita]

Arlene, you said crush and didn't say love. Was that the unconscious truth?

I'm with everyone else. No reason to goof up a friendship or marriage. And if you can goof up the marriage, then who's to say she doesn't have a wandering eye and wouldn't hurt you eventually?

[Anita]

This has always been a dilemma for me, these kinds of situations. But I'd have to agree with everyone here. I don't like sitting on my feelings, and yet, sometimes it seems you are better off if you do. This can only frustrate you and your friend, no matter how the scenario plays out. Either their marriage stays intact, and you're out in the cold, or else the marriage falls apart, and you have a romance that's on shaky ground. Your friend could also go out on her wife, and I can't advocate that at all.

I've faced this several times. The hardest one was one where I found myself avoiding my drummer's wife; she was a good friend, but suddenly there was attraction there. What to do? I was honest with her, eventually, because she needed an explanation for why I'd suddenly become distant. I thought we were mature adults, and could handle this safely. Instead, it helped break up their marriage, and yes, a year later she left me for another guy. My married nephew was attracted to a co-worker, once, and we could only tell him the same thing--sit on your feelings, and try to get transferred or find a new job. It can be that extreme.

[ArleneMcCarthy]

Davita,
I believe that I have more than a crush, let's say a great attraction to, if we were intimate the level may be raised to love. If she wasnt married I would be more bold in my encounters. Thank you for your post.


Thank you Anita, this is my problem, I want her as a close friend, but I don't want to harm their marraige. Maybe I should bide my time.


** Edited to combine successive posts *and* remove redundant quotes, as per: http://www.crossdressers-haven.com/foru ... 31&t=10059" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false; - SL

[Mikaela]

Sit back and just wait. If its meant to be, then an opportunity will present itself. No sense ruining a friendship if she is not receptive to you because she is married...

[Josephine (SO)]

are you saying you are a male with a crush on a male,(homosexual) if so what makes you think he is into men if he is married to a a woman.? please clarify if i did not understand the post, do not mean to be offensive

[ArleneMcCarthy]

Josephine (SO) - I desire him in his female personna.

Mikaela - Thank you for the sound advice.


** Edited to combine successive posts *and* remove redundant quotes, as per: http://www.crossdressers-haven.com/foru ... 31&t=10059" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false; - SL

[Martina H.]

I also have to say a big NO, why spoil a friendship with this person over a crush you have

[ArleneMcCarthy]

I agree, my mind is made up....thank you all for your advice.


*** Redundant quote removed, as per: http://www.crossdressers-haven.com/foru ... 31&t=10059" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false; - SL

[Absaroka]

The mind boggles at all the things that could possibly go wrong if you tell him. Glad to see you've decided not to.

Absaroka

[ArleneMcCarthy]

The mind boggles at all the things that could possibly go wrong if you tell him. Glad to see you've decided not to.

Absaroka

Thanks girlfriend.