Not sure what to think

[Saul]

Well, i get a hotel room when dress and stay inside but this past weekend i wanted to go out and while i was there my SO was there. She was staring at me and was talking to one of her girlfriends then aproached me looked me up and down and said "thats not going to work" I felt ashamed for hiding this side from here and thought she ment it was over but to my suprise we left walked acroos the street to this womans store and she picked me out a very nice dress, hat and leather coat and skirt. We then went to another store and she bought a his and hers dog coller and put mine on then hers then went back to the club. Today when i got back from work i found a nice makeup kit on my side of the bed.
I should be happy about this but i am leary because it was not what i expected. She appears to be all into it but experiance tells me that i may have bit off more than i can chew. Not sure what to think about it.

[Gillian]

First off, be very thankful for what she did in buying the clothes. Tell her and find some way of showing it. Secondly, the collars are a way of placing ownership on something. Interesting that she bought two collars, one for you and one for her. Is this a hint to a side of her that you know nothing about? It seems that a whole new world is opening up to you. Go slow and communicate with her. Use liberal doses of love with your communication and find out her thoughts. True love is loving inspite of the other persons quirks, and short comings. Good luck.

[DonnaT]

Sometimes, we find ourselves getting into trouble by thinking. Thinking what others are thinking, instead of talking and actually discovering what the other is thinking.

In other words, talk to her.

Don't let what she now knows influence you into doing something you aren't comfortable with, out of fear.

Learn each others limits.

[Anthony Simon]

I did an earlier post in this thread which disappeared when the site went down. Basically I said I thought that in buying all the clothes etc. in one burst and then pretty instantaneously going out, Saul had already loaded up his plate heavily. Practically any reaction from his SO would have piled yet more on it - and probably left him feeling he'd bitten off more than he could chew.

[EmilyAnn]

May I suggest that there are two concerns here: What to think; and What to do.

What to think: Yes, talk to your SO. That may be hard. emotionally loaded. Maybe you can pick the time and place that are sore of casual and relaxed.

What to do: It may not be a good idea to push on at this time. You and your SO have taken a big step forward. Why don't you make this a plateau? Enjoy your new outfits and makeup, but wait before getting more or adding to where you go.

Always enjoy it. Else, why do it?

EmilyAnn

[Wendae]

While I am happy for you that she is helping you with how to dress and buying you clothes I would ask my self am I ready to be a sub and wear a collar? There are necklaces that serve the same purpose. And are you ready for where this may be leading?

[Anne Bonny]

I have never understood dog collars on people, of course the Marquis De Saad (sorry I am not looking up the spelling) comes to mind. You need to talk. I do not know if your dressing is a part time thing or if you desire full time, most are probably part timers. It is very nice that she helped you to pick items that look good on your body type a skill you probably have not developed yet. She could be working up to throwing it all in your face? Who knows but you will only find the answers by saying "I am glad you seem to accept this side of who I am - but we need to slow down and talk about it." Why the dog collars? I only want to do this frequency, location, desire.... You don't want to show up to a party of fully dressed people while you are crawling on the ground completely naked on a collar and leash being treated like a dog and not allowed to talk. Saw that on a movie about the Marquis de saad - Sado Masichism?? Of course it could be because you are young, and some young people will wear dog collars to school - my son did it I thought it was weird but - I'm not a very good at parenting.

[Paulette]

Saul, please, baby steps.

Baby steps in thinking, too. Don't assume, ask.

Thank her. Talk about it.

Others have said the same thing, and we haven't heard back from you.

Please let us know how it's going.

---

Anne - as to collars, they generally indicate belongingness, like his and hers tshirts. When only one person in a pair wears a collar, it often indicates submissiveness in a dominant/submissive relations.

When an unaccompanied person wears a collar it may indicate that they want to be the submissive part of a pick-up dom/sub relationship, or simply that they are not in the company of their dom partner at the moment. They may just be deeply into heavy metal rock and shiny jewelry, or it may simply be an inexpensive and somewhat ironic engagement ring.

So if it's important to you, ask. Don't assume.

When I met my wife she was wearing a submissive collar/necklace of stainless steel. The kind that looks like a large modern-art torque and locked unobtrusively. It looked quietly decorative and not at all tacky. I asked, and it turned out that she kept the key to it - she was a submissive sexual partner by preference (not unusual in a woman) but insisted on her right to choose to whom and how she would be submissive. In addition, she didn't like the high drama, black leather, implied sadism/masochism or rape fantasies (think Snidely Whiplash or Bela Lugosi) that often accompany such indications of submissiveness as a preference - another reason to keep her own key.

The next day she gave me the key. I took off the collar. We were engaged for a year, and we've now been married for almost a year.

See? It's simpler than you think.