lack of space, privacy...breaks

[Gina]

All,

One of my coping issues: very few breaks from having wife and family around at home. And my job involves very little travel. Recently my wife said she was going on a weekend church retreat. My reaction: great, I have a weekend, I can dress up and enjoy Gina. Then she opted out since her father is here visiting, and we are caring for him (physically and mentally disabled--quite challenging).

I am lucky to get a day here or there every few months. Frankly, it is frustrating and as weeks and months pass I get a bit peeved. One of the things I enjoy is leisurely makeup: trying a smokey eye, time to just lounge.

I do underdress (typically hose and panties) in cooler Texas weather, and that helps. Come late April the heat and humidity make that very uncomfortable.

So, how to cope?

[Davita]

How to cope? I pop! Actually, coping is an individual thing and I didn't cope well at all. You need to find a way to sneak time. Sneak panties any time you can, spend a few extra minutes in the potty and slip something on. Go to bed after the better half and get up before her. Use those moments to steal any time you can get.

I know that frustration of thinking you have a chance just to have it taken away. Somehow you need to find a comprise in your life that will get you some time if only to reduce the frustrations. I don't remember if your better half knows, but if she could see how much better a person you are when you aren't so frustrated she might help you get some time.

[Marda]

All,

One of my coping issues: very few breaks from having wife and family around at home. And my job involves very little travel. Recently my wife said she was going on a weekend church retreat. My reaction: great, I have a weekend, I can dress up and enjoy Gina. Then she opted out since her father is here visiting, and we are caring for him (physically and mentally disabled--quite challenging).

I am lucky to get a day here or there every few months. Frankly, it is frustrating and as weeks and months pass I get a bit peeved. One of the things I enjoy is leisurely makeup: trying a smokey eye, time to just lounge.

I do underdress (typically hose and panties) in cooler Texas weather, and that helps. Come late April the heat and humidity make that very uncomfortable.

So, how to cope?

Hi Gina, It seems to me that many of us here can relate to feeling isolated and alienated by our surroundings/circumstances when we need some "self" time

You have my "support and encouragement through the "sticky weather, especially, meanwhile, I just made it through 6 years of hard isolation, so , I think, I pretty much share your sense of "confinement, or "whatever" it is that we "feel" on the matter
ON the "lighter" side of the equation, escape the "swamp" and migrate to the "Pacific Northwest Rain Forest, and you can dress every/day/night in total comfort
Love/Marda Meanwhile, we got great coffee up here too

[Sandy K.]

I feel for you i have similar problems.Big family little time to my self(always someone else home beside me). I rarely wear male under wear women is lot cooler in FL heat and been wearing neutral night shirt.It way of coping for me.
sandy

[DonnaT]

I suggest putting a few things in a back pack, hoping on your motorcycle for a long stress relief ride, only to stop off at a road side motel, get a room and dress for a few hours.

[Gina]

Thanks for your support. I did underdress in pantyhose today since it was cool. It does get difficult.

[Marda]

How to cope? I pop! Actually, coping is an individual thing and I didn't cope well at all. You need to find a way to sneak time. Sneak panties any time you can, spend a few extra minutes in the potty and slip something on. Go to bed after the better half and get up before her. Use those moments to steal any time you can get.

I know that frustration of thinking you have a chance just to have it taken away. Somehow you need to find a comprise in your life that will get you some time if only to reduce the frustrations. I don't remember if your better half knows, but if she could see how much better a person you are when you aren't so frustrated she might help you get some time.

Hi All, and especially Davita ... and on this happy note , I'm having some difficulty , accepting the entire "notion" of "coping" ... through my late/early stroke rehab phase, I was exposed to some "psychologistspeak about "coping" with the "facts of my "possibly "(implying "probably")indefinite chronic disability ... As it is "ME" and NOT the "psychologist" dealing with Hemiplegia I Have no tolerance for their "mental health industrial ointment" ... I'll be "galldarned", If I'm going to "entertain" some "candyrumped college graduate's gobbleygook, about "accepting" the "music" as It needs to be played on his feeble ground .... "I'll "NOT" "cope", with this situation" ... "My Name Is MARDA, AND i'LL MASTER THE DISASTER"

Love/Marda

[Paula G]

Gina, I supose you just have to find what space you can, use your on-line facility, and make the most of the occassional, even shrt, times you do get. Not a lot of help I know, but short of arrangeing getting away for a weekend that a be it.

[Marda]

Gina, I supose you just have to find what space you can, use your on-line facility, and make the most of the occassional, even shrt, times you do get. Not a lot of help I know, but short of arrangeing getting away for a weekend that a be it.

To Me, It seems that the root of our "such" troubles is our, modern, and superficial attachments to "stuff" and "places" "Many Moons Ago", the "Indians" suffered so little about "such" ... When Things got a wee bit too "Stuffy" at "home", they'd just "fold up the teepee, and "boogie on across the lands/rivers"(down the road), to a "place in time, less stressful" "GO FOR A SWIM"
Love/Marda

[Paula G]

People are not stuff or places, they cannot just be left on their own to fend alone while we go off and play. Sometimes it would be nice to abandon our responsibilities and indulge ourselves, but generally we have to face up to them and sometimes that means some self sacrifice. The hard bit is how to be a responsible parent and partner while still managing to be true to ourselves. For many of us this is not easy but we manage occasional outings, or evenings when we have a little space and we cherish these occasions.