So...I am by the definition Transgendered afterall? hum...

[Anne Bonny]

7. What is the difference between someone who identifies as "transgender" and someone who identifies as "transsexual"?
The term "transgender" was coined by Dr. Virginia Prince in the mid 1970's to differentiate those individuals who wanted to live in the opposite gender role without surgery from those that wanted surgery. Those individuals who wish or have had sex reassignment surgery were then and still are referred to as transsexuals. However, over the years the term "Transgender" has been modified through popular usage to be an umbrella term covering everyone who has some propensity to spend at least some time expressing themselves in the gender role opposite of that to which they have been assigned.

Hum...wanted to LIVE in the opposite gender role vs those with some propensity to spend at lease some time expressing themselves in the gender role ...

Well, under the popular umbrella term which expands the definition as coined. So I guess I am just a transvestite because I am masculine masculine (my best guess) 60% of the time. More politely I am definitely a cross dresser, and can only unofficially claim the term transgender because I only desire to experience the feminine world 40% (?) of the time vs desiring to live full time...hum....

And were I completely free would it still be 60:40?? probably - I did send my wife and children on ahead of me for a few months during a move so that she could have the opportunity to work 3 more months to be vested for retirement in another state (just 3 months shy). Any way I was free to live 24 hours, and when I was off work fully feminine - but I found after a week or so that I came to a point where I just felt "silly" and literally thought "You're not a girl this is just silly - change clothes! this is ridiculous!" And the desire having been satiated it left. Hence it is but not a day goes by that the angst does not cross my mind. I suppose that is the gender dysphoria spoken about, still I find from experience that the desire to dress or not varies widely in intensity and duration for myself but that it is not a constant such that I would LIVE permanently in the female gender role. Which by the book pegs me officially as just a cross dresser or transvestite.

I suppose I would love to lay claim to being transgendered but I am really not by the strict definition but gender dysphoric due to the nearly constant angst that waxes and wanes.
on bing typed in crossdressing symptom of underlying problems

[Gillian]

Quote; "So I guess I am just a transvestite because I am masculine masculine (my best guess) 60% of the time. More politely I am definitely a cross dresser, and can only unofficially claim the term transgender because I only desire to experience the feminine world 40% (?) of the time vs desiring to live full time".
There you go again, reading my mind. I find that over a two month cycle I can run anywhere from 60-40, to 40-60 and also into the odd extreme. To me the question is why do I feel that I have to be one, or the other side? Is it the societal gender expectation, or me just attempting to put me in a box? This is one of the areas of my life, that I work on, the part of just being who I am, and moving on. I now look at it like this, the feminine trait is like the current within a river, I have to paddle like crazy to go against it, or regular paddling just to maintain position. I don't do this with masculine traits, so why am I fighting the other traits? The work it takes to fight the traits could be used in other arena's of my life.
Quote; "Any way I was free to live 24 hours, and when I was off work fully feminine - but I found after a week or so that I came to a point where I just felt "silly" and literally thought "You're not a girl this is just silly - change clothes! this is ridiculous!" And the desire having been satiated it left."
I could not have said it any better! I have found my equilibrium usually through underdressing, adding a skirt, blouse, etc, as desired, or needed. It is like there is something inside of me now, that is saying, " you are reaching the 'silly' point so it is time to stop". This is a thing that has developed within me the more I accepted myself.
I believe that it was Shakespeare who said, " to thine own self be true", to find the true person within us and accept this person is an important issue. If we are not the same as others... so what... can we accept it and then move on with life? My arms just got too tired of paddling, and now I am glad they did get to tired...lol

[Anne Bonny]

Eat, drink and be Mary...? Yes we certainly do and we certainly have wasted years and years suffering over this self imposed angst rather than choosing to be like June busting out all over coming out to everybody everywhere. Damn the torpedoes is not without consequences - in the wrong place at the wrong time you can find yourself without a wife, job, and shunned if not pounded or worse. Societies rules, are hard for us to break, hence our "angst." We live unsettled within our head nearly every day on this issue. We are always hardest on ourselves we hold the keys to our own jail cell - we have only to muster the strength to boldly step into the light. I believe I am in some way moving in that direction. What difference does it make that I really like wearing dresses and feeling feminine on occasion!? We are all different, that is what makes for an interesting world, we need to get over ourselves and so does society, our family, our friends our significant other or wives, even our work place though that battle is far from over and may not happen in our life time. I don't lilke being older, but being retired I do not have to fear the judgment of an employer - thank God!

[DonnaT]

Transgendered in an adjective.

Transgender is a noun.

I lay claim to being trans because I feel I born this way, and it is probably in my DNA, somewhere.

I express being trans by cross dressing.

[Karin]

Doesn't affect me. I'm just a girl

[Anne Bonny]

I also feel I was born this way, and am happy to call myself transgendered. I can think of myself as a girl at times too, and that is a wonderful way to feel.

[Gillian]

Quote; " Damn the torpedoes is not without consequences", true, one must always weigh the factors before moving in any direction. My comments were not meant to say go out and run amok, but to find the parameters within which a person can live. In my case, I have an understanding and accepting wife, but that does not mean I go out in public dressed to the "nines". In fact I don't go out dressed in any outward feminine appearance, what I have on under my shirt and jeans is my business. The word discreet is what comes to mind. I have found my sense of freedom, but freedom still has its responcibilities. In our society we have life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, but we don't have the freedom to go over the speed limit, rob banks, or shoot people, these have consequences. Within society there are rules that we obey without question, there are rules we break, then there are rules in which we learn how to bend to the point that we get out of it all that we can, without breaking the rule... if you catch my drift. You have to find how far you can bend your gender rules, before someone notices, or objects.
Personally, I find that most people are rather unobservant, and as long as you stay out of their face with it, they don't care. As a test, go to the drug store and buy a cheap pair of glasses, remove the lens and then see who fo your associates notices that you are wearing glasses. I have had a mustache off and on for years, the last time I shaved it off it took weeks to months before anyone said anything. The only exception was my daughter, but then nothing gets past her.

[RebeccaF]

I'm not sure I know where I stand on this - I guess by definition I am a crossdresser, even though I'm not cross very often!

I can't say whether I was 'born this way', as I don't remember being born. Having witnessed my own childrens' arrival, I'm glad I don't remember!

Given the chance to be 24/7, y'know I don't know if I would? I'm naturally a bit shy in public, I keep myself to myself and don't like to feel that I am being noticed when I am out doing whatever. If I was 24/7, that would very obviously not be the case, as I will never pass in a million years. I would stick out like a sore thumb, and that would make me VERY uncomfortable.

My wife was away with the tiddlers a few weeks ago, so for a whole week I got be be Becca whenever I wanted. I bought girls jeans and t-shirts and spent every moment wearing them. I went to work like it and no-one said a thing. It was great, I had a lovely week feeling a lot more special than usual. Everything I was wearing, except my shoes (which were only Converse trainers anyway) was from the 'pink side of the shop'.

Does that make me transgender(ed)? No, I don't think so. To be honest I haven't got a clue what it makes me. Weird would be a good start.

[Paulette]

I am a cross dresser. A transvestite. A shaman in training. A holy fool who worships the goddess by becoming her and expressing himself sexually through her. A pervert who does weird and disgusting things. I am not a hetero- anything. "I am large. I contain multitudes."

So you may call me transgendered or transexual, or queer if that suits you. You may also call me sir, but only if you are much younger than I, or are the Queen. Here I'm Paulette. Elsewhere I am Eric, Smaug, Paulo the juggler, and Eric the Occasional. I answer to all of them.

I am also not quite awake yet, so don't hold me to any of this.

I'm a seventy-two-year-old omni-sexual man, thoroughly married and devoted to my wife, with a son her age who I'm quite proud of. I don't know and don't care if I was born this way -- I am this way, and I've paid my dues to get here. I am the luckiest person in the world.

I have been crazy and sane, rich and poor, famous and infamous, courageous and cowardly, foolish and wise, respected and reviled, loved and hated. I have made love to many people, of many ages, and many sexes. (I may be making love to someone right now. Or not.) I have been a professional killer (USMC) and a pacifist (AFSC).

In all these things and more, I have my preferences. Sometimes they change, but not often or for very long. At least not at my age. Are you or your spouse or children in any danger from me? Not unless you suddenly jump in front of my car or attack me.

[JessieR]

I guess I'm a little confused. I've never really talked out the terms or tags because I've got a problem with labeling people. But still I need to understand so as not to offend someone. My daddy always said because I talk so much he was surprised I didn't get athletic's tongue. LOL. Anyway. I was raised as a girl. Long story but I still see myself as a girl. Obviously I've sense learned of the physical aspects of me is male. I struggled for years issues of my gender and had to finally make some sort of choice as to who I am. But keeping on topic here, given the chance again to chose between male and female, I would definitely have a complete gender reassignment and happily live my life as a girl. So what would be the proper definition of my transgender association? is it Transsexual?

JessieR

[Cassandra Lynn]

Just a suggestion here good folks.....

Have a look at the website Dyssonance, it's a blog sorta thing from a woman named Antonia D'Orsay, aka Dyssonance, Dyss, Toni and so on.
She is a highly intelligent (multi-degrees) sociologist and trans-activist.

Once on the site peruse her works entitled 'what is gender' 'what is trans' and so on. She's a bit wordy, but nothing too nauseating and she knows of what she speaks.

For the record tho, one is transgender not transgendered, provided of course your not just choosing certain days to claim the title.......such as "last week i was transgendered, but this week i'm a regular Joe".

I'm not sayin, but i'm just sayin.

[Latanya]

the term i use is gender fluid
a term that my therapist best describes me
i am male with a fem side that needs expression
so much so that by my male side constantly trying to squash my fem side it has done considerable damage to me as a whole
i am much more comfortable now(both sides) since i have accepted who i am
transitioning would not solve the problem just reverse it
i am still trying to find myself; who much male to how much female i am! as i go on this journey i am finding i am more fem than i ever thought!

[JessieR]

Thank you so much Cassandra. I have been reading over Dyssonance's article on"Trans" and it has been most enlightening and informative. It hasn't fixed or solved my problems and issues but it has helped me understand them. There are some questions the articles has brought up but for the first time in... (forever?), I feel I have some sort of direction to go in finding answers. I highly recommend anyone seeking answers to questions pertaining to "Transsexual" issues, including family and friends, to visit this site. Read through the articles, write down any questions you have and find a support group and someplace like here to find answers.

Something which came up the other day in conversation was that CDing and Trans is all about sex. This is true for for some but not all of us. There are many reasons why we CD. Speaking only for myself here I have several reasons why I CD and they revolve around how and why I view the world around me the way I do. Does that make sense? In other words, because I basically view and react to the world around me in a manor which is socially acceptable for females I therefore associate to the feminine gender.

Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you Cassandra for your advice.

JessieR

[Cassandra Lynn]

Thank you so much Cassandra.
It hasn't fixed or solved my problems and issues but it has helped me understand them. There are some questions the articles has brought up but for the first time in... (forever?), I feel I have some sort of direction to go in finding answers.

Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you Cassandra for your advice.

JessieR

Well thank you for that Jessie, and your most welcome.
After being around various forums for sometime, it is so rewarding when i can feel that i was of service.

And i also identified quite well with what you said about the way you view/react socially, when i finally accepted the real me and really let my true personality free i 'fit' better with this crazy mixed up world we live in.

Best wishes for you on your journey.

[Paulette]

Another thought for Jessie R: From your description of yourself you might want to investigate the Intersex community,
That is, those born with ambiguous genitalia.