Looking for clear skys

[Gillian]

.His explanation of the Pink Fog was 'doing something or acting too much like a woman when you know you're not'.

I can relate to that in that my idea of "the pink fog" is when the CDing impulses impairs my judgement. Like there is an element in CDing of wishing to do stuff. But those wishes can sometimes overwhelm your reality testing.

For me that's when the pink fog happens, when you mistake your wishes for what is realistically possible.

From my point, I would say the "pink fog" is when Cding impulses impairs my thinking. By that I mean that Cding, or some item of women's clothing, usually lingerie, crowds everything out to the point of my obsessing about the item. I have worked along side of obsessive/compulsive people, and have thought that this "pink fog" is closely related to what they go through. By example, the idea of wearing a skirt and pantyhose comes into my thoughts and interferes with my concentration on what I am doing. Once I dress in the skirt and pantyhose I settle back into what I was doing and have no more problem concentrating on what I was once doing. It is not an all the time desire, it comes and goes. I have attempted to chart this ebb and flow in my mind, but to no avail. I can see how when I was younger this fog was connected strongly with my sex drive, but now that I am older I don't see it that way anymore. No doubt, there is still some connection for me between Cding and my sex drive, but some how a large chunk of it has disconnected from the drive over 5 years ago and it is now going a different direction. Long ago I found it easier to just wear panties daily, rather than let those thoughts crowd into my mind. It works very well for me in what I will call a light fog day. Has it increased the fog in other areas, no, not at all, the fog still rolls in about the same as it did. The difference being the lesser fog has been dealt with, but not the heavier fogs. Even as I write this, I am attemptiing to make sense of it all, and alot of it doesn't! I for the most part don't try to understand this "fog" anymore, I just attempt to accept and deal with it as it comes and goes.

[Kelly]

Well, suffice it to say that this thread has been cathartic for me. But it helped, after pouring my heart out the other night - the equivalent of going off and crying my eyes out - I feel better. No blue in the sky yet; but I'm definitely calmer and can focus on other things - at least for a while.

Now that I have experienced confronting my emotions, I am moving to accept them. Hopefully this is last appearance of Kelly the Drama Queen.

I seeing a descriptions that ring true with my own experience. Some difference, too, but that is what makes each person unique.

These descriptions are interesting and instructive. I hope the conversation continues, as long as it is useful.

Kelly