Secrets

[Paulette]

I think this is not something that can be determined by consensus or definition. We all have different triggers and react differently to different words.

Some blacks use the term 'nigger' to refer to each other, and some superheteronormal males use the term 'faggot' amongst themselves, but neither group would stand for that use by an outsider. Similarly, some CDs and transpersons use 'tranny' amongst themselves, in much the same way we might use 'girlfriend'.*

I'm a graduate of the UC Berkeley/Los Angeles Free Speech Movement, (and screw you S.I. Hayakawa), so I have no problem with words, any words. They are our tools and as such deserve the respect of anyone who respects language. But I am also a civil being, I hope, and so I try to avoid the use of words that might offend those within ear-shot.

It isn't a matter of being Politically Correct, it's a matter of being considerate of the feelings of your fellow beings. Of being polite. If you want to offend or antagonize someone, then please go ahead and do so. You surely know what words will do the job. If you are so young as to enjoy annoying the adults around you, again, please go ahead - it will simply serve to classify you to all listeners as someone not yet fit for adult company.

The LGBTIA+ community are particularly sensitive, so ask, just as you would ask a potential lover how they would like to be addressed or touched, and what words or touches would not be welcome. And really, why would you do otherwise?

*Here, SL has pretty much laid down the rules, so except for instructional purposes I try not to transgress (pun intended).

cheers!

[Babbs]

If a man has fantasies about dressing as a woman and having sex with a man while dressed as a woman, it is a transexual fantasy and not homosexual? What is it for the man who stays dressed as a man and has sex with the man dressed as a woman? Probably homosexual?? So one sexual act is both transsexual and homosexual? Labels, huh? confusing.

[OliviaM]

I have been looking at this all week trying get the words right. I wanted to write stuff down to clear my head, but that didn't work. So here goes. I don't think it's about defining definitions, or not offending anyone, and whatever you are comfortable with be comfortable with it. There are terms and they mean something. Sure it is the man dressing as a woman who gets to decide the term he wants to use. Why is this forum called crossdressers and not just "men who wear women's clothes" forum? That's what we do so with no labels or definitions or other ways to differentiate isn't that what it should be called? There are differences in the men who wear women's clothes community and I think the terms make it easier for everyone inside and outside the community. Not sure if this came out the way I wanted, but there it is. I really love this place and all the new friends.