Yes damn it...here I am

[Anne Bonny]

I am a man and I like wearing dresses on occasion. I know I have to always be on the defensive be aware and on the look out because I do. I know people will look at me and have the same feelings about me as they tend to about Bruce Jenner - kind of an ooh...they react internally with a degree of repulsion, and an internal reaction set to tell them this is not right, there is something wrong with him.... I know it but like Bruce, can't remember what she calls herself, I know because of how I am that this is just who I am, yes it comes and goes...perhaps I am not transgender but a transvestite because I have no desire to transition which I thought is what Trans sexual meant while Transgender refers to those who feel an internal gender feeling changing in prominence. Whatever. I hate that I have to feel a constant ill ease with an eye cast and and ear tuned so that I can disappear and not give offense to anyone. True acceptance and understanding of who we are as people is exceedingly rare. That is hard and yes it is sad because we want love and acceptance too by the larger world around us but it is just not there. The Christians have brainwashed everyone in our society and conditioned all of us to think and feel a certain way about nearly everything especially men who occasionally feel submissive/feminine and who love their dresses and female outfits, make up etc... It is a huge and outrageous denial of how some people just happen to be in life. Deviation or being different is not allowed and is strongly reacted to by nearly the entire society and it is strongly enforced emotionally, physically, and by outright denial and banning those who do not conform to conventions. Ah...but here I am in a white summery cotton dress and leather flip flops, ear rings and jewelry and lingerie with breast enhancers and make up. It is my right but even in my own private home I have to take care not to give offence to my own family members who know, not that they react, they know (my sons) but it is not how they want to see me even though I am not always the person they want to see when I am feeling differently inside. It's a shame but when the last son moves out even then they could pop up as anyone could. We do have the same right as women when we desire to be a little more feminine in dress and appearance and we also have an absolute right especially within the confines of our own residence to feel absolutely free to be who we are and enjoy being who we are in the moment. We should not endure a constant cloud of angst or worry or that we may have to flee at an instant and change to meet societies norm for men. This is the norm for us and we are men, we have every right to have this option especially when we are transgender it is our absolute right to be who we are. Makes me angry.

[MeganMartin]

Anne,

I agree with much of what you stated here however I remind everyone that we have the right to do what we want and others have that right not to like it.

Well it is not only the Christians but it is how we were socially conditioned. That women wore dresses and men wore pants, however the clothing of the day in roman's time was basically a dress. It was a robe but if you wore it out in public today it would be classified a dress.

As I told my wife many years ago if I dress as a female go out and express myself who am i hurting, it is just clothing. Just as if I went downtown dressed in my scooby doo costume on a Friday, others would be somewhat confused but really what does it hurt.

Anyway be who you are and don't worry about trying to classify yourself as this or that...just be YOU.

Many hugs,

[Anne Bonny]

Thanks Megan, nice pic by the way. Blasted...I am 58 it has taken me nearly a lifetime to get to where I am now. Now I am maintaining (I am 5'9.5" medium frame) in the 160's, run a 5k do my 45 push-ups, 83 sit-ups every day, dye my hair to maintain it's medium brown, drink my 8 8oz glasses of water, take my vitamin pack and eat right...I have pushed back the clock to the extent possible, I am in the best shape of my life well since my early 30's. still compared to my peers I am doing very well. I am an agnostic with no animus for those who are theist or atheist.

I acknowledge and agree with what you stated that we have the right to do what we want and others have that right not to like it. It is the best we can expect. Society is slowly evolving but What is IS all we can do is to confront reality and deal with it as best we can. We can to some degree influence conditions to optimize outcomes or to manage what comes but much is beyond our ability to control. We have to accept life as it comes and move on.

While the ancients wore robes only a few were like us and wanted to wear feminine robes and style their selves as the women did. Even if men started wearing dresses and skirts today that would be not change.

I really like your thinking...Others would be somewhat confused...they are free not to like us or how we are but we are not hurting anyone. The key to leaving for the mall as a woman would be the acknowledgement and understanding of those realities because it is just the way things are in our lifetime right now. Yes that is very good, thank you.

[Requal Jo]

I fully agree with your comments Anne. We are seen as different at this time, however, be it very slowly, Society is becoming accepting of our dressing. (Yes I will say it again, very very slowly). It is sad that not all of Society can accept a man who is in touch with and displays his feminine side.

While my wife knows of Requal, no one else, family, relatives, and/or friends do not know.

Is it the question that I choose not to tell because of their reaction to such news? Is it that I am afraid of the repercussions of such news? Or is it because of the perceived rejection that may be received from Society as a whole?

I do not know, however, if Society was fully acceptance of our dressing, then the whole world would know Requal.

When people such as Bruce Jenner come out, regardless of Society's reaction to the news, it does minutely change Society's perception towards our acceptance in a positive way.

[Ralitsa]

How many times do I have to say it? The world is not nearly as bad as you keep thinking it is.
Sure, there are a few knuckleheads that might make a comment, or want to cause a scene. But they are very few, and in my experience they are very quickly shut down by those around them.

I've told the story before, but it was a while back so I'll retell it for the benefit of new members. I beg the indulgence of those who've read it before.

Some years ago I was in a bar where I customarily went for dinner. Most of the people there were really decent. The lady who normally tended bar is also a seamstress and has handmade several pieces for me. On this particular night, I was having dinner and minding my own business, but there was one loudmouth who was being obnoxious. His friends told him a few times to settle down, but alas the liquor spoke louder than reason. After some time he went to the restroom, and as he was returning to his seat he walked past behind me and snapped my bra. I was shocked, stunned, and didn't even know how to react. Before I could do anything, his friends grabbed him and hustled him out the door, apologizing all the way.
Now it's very probable that none of his friends approved of me, but they would not tolerate at all that sort of behavior from him.

And that's what I love about America. We might hate each other, but we can still get along quite civilly. (Or at least that's the way it's supposed to be )

The moral of the story is that you don't have to wait for society to accept you, and there will always be some elements that do not. All you have to do is demand your fundamental human right of being treated fairly and with dignity.

[Anne Bonny]

You're right, still we have to be willing to shoulder those who are free not to like us and who may make comments, or even physically assault us by touching our person...snapping your bra was a minimal assault could have clocked you, fortunately he did not and his friends took him out the door because of his impaired judgement.

What many here do not consider is once you make what for you may be an unconsidered and rash move to open the door to someone you know dressed, or go out your door into the yard or to the mailbox dressed, or go out period...Once people see you you cannot erase who you are from their memory they will always know from that point on...question is are you ready to let people know who you really are?

I am finding that I am perfectly willing to disclose who I am to many people because this is who I am take me or leave me. It may be true I have a masculine male side and that is the one I project mostly but my feminine side is part of my complete self as a whole. I am a transvestite, I am a transgender person once you accept that then that others know that about you no longer matters, hey...don't like me anymore - fine! Leave because there are better people out there who are able to fully accept who I am. I have every right to dress however I please especially in my own home. So far I have not stepped out into public except in an automobile at a very late hour. It is a next step for me still.

[Ralitsa]

You are completely right Anne. If anyone is to be really and honestly free, then at some point in their lives they need to come right out and say "this is who I am, take it or leave it."
Then of course everyone can react to that and either accept it or not. Perhaps I have been lucky because I've never been seriously accosted. Yeah, that does happen. But people are also killed every day for their religious beliefs, their political affiliations, their race, or even just randomly by some wacko who crashes a plane into a mountain.
So maybe some day I will get beaten to death by brainless thugs. Well is that any worse than dying of cancer, or in a car accident, or anything else?
Meanwhile, I am happy, and I like my clothes. It does seem strange that clothes should matter so much, but they do and it's pointless to deny reality. I find satisfaction and enjoyment in wearing a nice outfit, and the very small possibility of being beaten to death over it is not sufficient reason for me to deny myself this luxury.
Judging from the physical condition you describe yourself to be in Anne, I suspect you would be pretty difficult to beat into submission. So the most anyone could do is to make some snide comments and try to get some laughs and giggles from their audience. But popular opinion works both ways, and in western society at least, I think people are much less tolerant of rude obnoxious behavior than they are of people who express unique personal attributes.