A Good Weekend?

[Domonique]

Hello Ladies. At least once a years BabyDoll and I take a few days off and get away from the hubbub of the park to clear our heads. This year we decided to go visit my Mom. Before we left, I told her that there was something I wanted to talk to her about. When we arrived Friday morning (just in time for breakfast) some of my cousins were already there to greet us. ( oh joy!) Through out the day relatives came and went keeping me from having my talk with Mom. Now mind you I was very nervous to begin with but now I was growing anxious. I new that if I didn't tell her this weekend, I would never tell her.

A little back ground. Mom is seventy years old and was brought up in the old ways. Like BabyDoll, I respected this woman with the respect that a queen would get. Mom is a very stubborn woman set in her ways. I knew in my own mind that this could be the end of our relationship.

Saturday Mom wanted to go and visit my uncle whom I haven't seen in a very long time. So I put my anxiety aside and off we went. I was glad to see my aunt and uncle again. Cousins that I had never met came as well. We sat for hours talking and catching up but soon my anxiety and fear re-emerged. Time was growing short.

Finally, late Saturday night, mom says "what is it you wanted to talk to me about?'' I swallowed hard, this was the moment of truth. So I went to my suitcase and pulled out a few pictures while talking to her, saying remember when this happened and remember when I did this? She had that 'I think I know where your going with this' look on her face. I continued on with my conversation though telling her about friends that were CDs. She said that she was fine with that's people were all "different". Without missing a beat I said to her "so am I". She stopped for what seemed like an eternity with this strange look on her face, one I have never in all my 40 plus years seen before. So I braced myself.

She turned and looked at BD and smiled, then turned back to me and said, "I just want to know one thing, do you like men too?"

"No Mom, I just like womens' clothes". BD and I explained the differences to her. With a little bit of relief in her eyes she said to me " I knew there was something different about you but I thought that it might be my fault."

"No Mom it's not. They don't know if it's genetic or if it's something else. Just know that you didn't make me want to wear a dress. I just do."

After what seemed like several hours of discussion, I did get to show her the pictures that I had taken with us. Mom was emotional and was quiet for a while as she studied them. Finally she told me that she was glad that I had told her but it was going to take her a while to get use to the idea that her son likes to wear dresses. I thought I had made a break through. I felt better and slept well.

When we were leaving this bright and sunny Sunday morning, She hugged me and kissed me on the jaw and said " I love you son. I'll call you this evening." My heart kind of sank. I guess the reaction that I was hoping for was not quite the one I wanted. But on the bright side, I was able to finally tell her. If she calls this evening, I will be surprised. Also I very much doubt that the subject of me being a CD will ever come up again. Only time will tell.