Autopilot...

[Anne Bonny]

I know we feel a gentle pull, well as a gender fluid person going back and forth I do anyway one direction then another, and This Saturday morning is no particular exception. I am finding more and more though ... well that while the clothes fit the gender I am feeling...after moving over into them they are just clothes and as I go about my day I also find I do not even think about any of it. I mean women do not think "I am a woman....or I feel like a woman....I am in female clothes...I feel feminine..." Nope. Just as when I am on the male side...I am beginning to feel the same way on the female side. I am just dressed and doing the things I have to get done...and I do not stop to think about any of it...autopilot where gender falls off the screen...and I do not think about any of it at all...well unless...someone knocks...or shakes me out of it...then I might greet the aid or the sitter or whoever long as they are within that circle. Of course I would go and change If this is someone I have not or cannot share this part of who I am with.... But When those who are in that circle of insiders do come I get "cute dress" or outfit or "nice make up" or "cute shoes" I just feel more in common with the woman who is here, that's nice to feel we share being female kinda sorta....

I suppose autopilot is when we achieve parity with our masculine side and it's feeling absolutely comfortable and normal with who we are no matter our gender. Yeah it is a goal and a real sign that this is where we are supposed to be with who we are. Yeah...It's good, this is where I am supposed to be!

On the female side thoughts do drift and fit too such as...oh think I like that dress...I will order it... or whatever. Also when visiting or with other women topics tend to be what any two women would talk about...which are not necessarily gender related at all...could be family or whatever...so it is great being able to be ...to be!

[Heather W]

That autopilot as you call it is in reality how many of us live our lives. I am not sure I would use that term to describe though. I am not sure what to really label it as it is part inner peace, part self awareness and maybe even part just being human. If you talk to any TG they will tell you yes in the beginning it was about the clothes, the feeling of femininity, even being a woman. With time that all changes. It is about who you are on the inside which IMO you have started to understand Anne.

Yes I take my time when I am getting ready in the morning so I look my best, I enjoy dressing up for work or other activities, and yes I love a compliment like "Cute shoes." However there is so much to all of it. I am the same person whether I am in a dress and heels on a date as I am in leggings and t-shirt taking the garbage out on Saturday morning. It is who I am and I firmly believe you have started to understand that Anne. There is a camaraderie amongst women same as there is with men. Women bond with women better than they do with men and vice versa. Perhaps this is because we understand better where the other person is coming from.