Bumps on the road

[Estefania]

Anne,

As I mentioned to Diana a couple days ago... I can't even imagine life if I had a supportive wife. My mind just can't go there. Which maybe is for the best so I can't miss having something that would only exist in a dream. And yet, even though I know that things can be different, there is a price that I don't want to pay. I owe her so much! She is a wonderful woman, a great partner, my friend. I can't have it all. I have made peace with that idea.

That doesn't mean that at times it gets harder to cope though.

Thank you all.
Gaby

[Anne Bonny]

If I could have my wife back again with her mental faculties fully restored, she died of Alzheimer's, I fully understand. Looking back I realize a major part of who I was was severely restricted, I was lucky to have what support she gave me but it was limited. Even limited I understand because life without her for myself no longer exists. I sit at home and have no reason to go anywhere or do anything I no longer have anyone to share the experience of life with anymore.

It is amazing how we who are heterosexual who love or loved our wives are willing to suppress a major part of who we are but what is life with out the women we love? I wonder if they realize how we are willing to endure discomfort for them and it makes you wonder why if they love us they are not willing to see all of who we are and to love us fully. I was lucky that she did understand and hence did give me some tolerance limited though it was. I am now completely free to be who I am and any woman I meet who is not able to fully accept and love me will have to find someone else.

[Diana Michelle]

Gaby, there was an interesting post a bit back in Heather's blog on choices. It is on page 19 about half way down.

http://crossdressers-haven.com/forums/v ... &start=270

She talks about choices and how they affect others and how all sides must be considered but perhaps her most important point is we have to own our choices for we and only we made them. I am not even attempt to tell you what to do here. You are a big girl and I am certain have thought all of this through more than once. I would suggest however you and the wife have a long and hopefully calm talk about all of this. It is obvious this is weighing heavily on you and I sense a bit of depression coming through in your posts and that is not healthy for you or your relationship with your wife. Things may not come out the way of either of you wish but there is a compromise you two can come to even if it is DADT.

Know you are in my thoughts and prayers Gaby as I am sure in those of others here and also know we are all here for you girl when you need us.