I enjoy being a part time woman

[Anne Bonny]

I just don't understand all that I know is that I am a man who loves wearing dresses. No...not all the time or every day but gee last night I was watching a youtube video on Jane Austen by Lucy Worsley Who is so cute and always wears dresses and heels and because this is primarily a woman's documentary as I am bi gender I wanted to put on a dress too so that I could feel more connected with it all. This morning I wanted to again and so I am...I have discovered how wonderful it is to have on the full lingerie not just bra and my forms and panties...but pantie hose and a full slip under my dress which makes the dress hang as it should due to the "slip" and of course heels hoops and necklace bracelet watch rings lipstick, fixed my hair best I can as it is short..really my old wig is not satisfactory and I have never really...welll...Ok I went and put that on too! Because I like being a woman. I am a Bi-gender male who loves being a woman time to time when all the emotional component of it all is there. 



I have abstained from anything sexual for the past..this is day 7 and it will probably continue. I am discovering how interesting it is to be a woman and simply enjoy being one all in and of itself divorced from my base sexual desire. The result is that I am truly able to enjoy being a girl in a dress and feeling more as a woman. Just expressing my femininity is wonderful all in and of itself alone. Dressing as I desire based on it being appropriate for me because I am a part time woman really makes it a reality. I could have tea with the ladies and simply be here where I am as a woman and it would be wonderful all divorced from something which while it is a part of life for men and women has nothing to do with simply being who we are. As a man I am not turned on by what I am wearing, I may at times experience sexual desire and it is I am sure exactly the same for women...they are not turned on by what they are wearing...it is lovely to feel feminine, sexy and female but it does not mean they experience sexual desire over it, though as men do they do at times feel sexual desire because it is a natural part of our life! Especially when our thoughts turn to those we are with even those who are no longer here.



I do not know why I really love being able to wear dresses and to dress in them to express how feminine I am feeling on the inside...I simply do. I have slacks and shorts and jeans and tops, I have worn them they are in my female wardrobe but If I am preferring dresses especially having had this fully denied me as I grew up maybe I am compensating and wanting to play a little catch up. I should have been put into and introduced to dresses as a child and as I grew up as a part of my life...this should have been done for me because this is who I am...but this is to this day still not understood and is fully objected to by nearly everyone on earth. It is a sad thing because there is nothing wrong with being partly feminine as a male and with being female somewhat mentally at times, there just isn't! 



Oh well I am happy that I am able to be who I am as I am right this very minute as a woman. This is who I am and there is nothing wrong with it!   

[Bernice]

I'm right there with you! I only wear pants to go out in public, and even the last time I went en-femme (several years ago), I wore feminine slacks/jeans.

OTOH, if I don't have to go out, even if only to mind the BBQ on the pack porch, then I have no use for shorts or slacks or jeans, and very little use for culottes. I also have no use for shoes that have shoelaces. But that's just me. I think. But then, 44 years ago I thought I was the only crossdresser, so maybe not.

Hugs,

Bernice

[Anne Bonny]

Well...I do not dress in feminine clothing all the time just some days as these feelings inside come into me and are heightened for some reason. I am who I am all of the time...I have mental aspects that lead me into the feminine direction, and others in the masculine direction. Today I am masculine probably because I am sick...past two weeks enduring an upper respiratory cold, cough fatigue etc...in misery. I think realizing that this is who I am has moved me away from thinking of all of this as a "thing" because this is just how I happen to be inside. I tend to prefer a dress...but also move into other female clothing slacks, jeans, and shorts with some kind of top. I think that probably comes from being absolutely forbidden from wearing feminine clothing, and dresses are the most iconic...but they are also very comfortable, cool, and are nice to wear like a sundress with just panties and sandals. They are nice around the house in the warmer months when I have drifted in that direction. I was thinking the other day and it is true really that plain cotton panties are the most unisex item as far as underpants go...who ever uses the flap that is in a pair of briefs? I haven't. And there are male versions of women's panties but I prefer the panties. But as I say I only move into my female when the muse comes over me and I move there mentally. I am a part time woman...As I am also a father and grandfather, was a husband until my wife died and I am now sadly a widow missing her and trying to find my way again...sailing, dancing, photography and trying to become a social person (180 degrees to my natural inclinations all of my life).

Yeah I think we all have to move past thinking of any of this as out of the ordinary because it is just who we happen to be...there are men and women who are like this and that is where we fit in. I am not flamboyant, or effeminate. The femininity within myself is subtle, I do not seek to speak in a higher pitch why should I. I am not a woman stuck in a male body, I do not even believe I have a female brain...there is just overlap because men and women share many things mentally and so happens my inclinations share in many things that on average are where women tend to be. I have no dysphoria about being a male, and I certainly fulfill the male role Husband, father, grandfather. I could never see myself moving fully into transitioning, and living as a woman the rest of my life...I am a cross dresser as we are labeled ...my wardrobe is not limited because clothing does not have a gender. If I am wearing feminine things with make up and jewelry...it's just because that is where I happen to be. I do not exaggerate myself in voice or in manner I continue on because I am who I am. I am also and at all times only attracted to women no matter how I happen to be dressed. So I am just a man who happens to be or feel feminine internally at times inside and what I wear reflects that. I do not mind fitting in with women or being thought of considered as a woman if that is what people will think of me because that is true at times I am in a sense like a woman on the inside...other times I am just an average man. I do not know why society overall cannot get their head around that where men are concerned after all there are many mannish women running around who are rather masculine in their way being strong rough and decisive and in their manner of dress and in their chosen career. Women are accepted if they cross the line, men sadly are beaten up for it in multiple ways. It's changing but looks as though my generation will be gone before men are running around in female attire as our counterparts are on the female side. Oh well... In truth...we are a very diverse group and I suppose a fair percentage in this basket tend to be unsavory in their behavior and going over the top wearing things that are not appropriate, being loud flamboyant immoral and swishy etc which perpetuates the way people see us - it's a lot to overcome.

[Bernice]

[Anne Bonny]

What is so nice is being able to slip into a dress and flip flops after the walk for lunch and to relax a little before I go run. I can do this because it's who I am. Too bad guy's are not allowed if they feel female to just do this and have nobody care about it. What's wrong with being a girl or being like one? Oh well...least I am able to do this.

That was the other day...and...here I am again. I am kinda board on a Saturday afternoon so I am in the same dress again with my new wig lipstick...even shaved my legs. My toes ...I used Sally Hansen Big Peel Off undercoat prior to painting them a glossy red with a clear top coat and did not know what to expect...if wearing shoes and socks and jogging or if the color would eventually peel off...apparently you have to actually pick away at the edges of your nails to get them to peel off and I am simply not motivated to peel off my pretty red toe nail color. Today I was motivate to take my fresh razor and to carefully remove all of my leg hair so my legs are pretty, smooth and hair free for the first time in a long time and I seem to be indulging my preferences for dressing for kind of extended periods. I will probably change later to get out of the house but for now I am just enjoying my freedom to simply allow myself to be who I am inside. I am a girl...at least when it comes over me and what on earth is wrong with being a woman? No one is harmed. I wish I had a relationship with a woman who was encouraging and loved me no matter how I happen to look. Why can't we just be taken and treated or considered to simply be who we happen to be. Why is my being a girl or enjoying expressing my inner femininity something most people would angrily reject as being wrong. What's wrong with it, I actually believe it's a good thing for me, I am not harming anyone, and if I can be considered to be a woman at times and simply be accepted for who I happen to be why would that be wrong of the people who are able to fully accept who I am. Why is this not normal and natural...feels this way to myself while un natural would by my trying with all of my might to resist and to suppress the woman that lives inside of who I am.