Got your attention!? Well...I perceive myself to be somewhat female...the who I love is definitely 100% women all of the time but I have never been full time...after a while hours to a day or so later I begin to feel silly. Wearing clothing made specifically to enhance a female body when mine is male. My negative self talk becomes you are a man, you can never look like a woman and eventually I revert to a male baseline. Being as I am transition makes no sense for me...well maybe fantasy thoughts kick in that with a female body I could be a lesbian but I am not upset that I have a male body to the degree that trans sexuals feel trapped and loath it no none of that.
But really... I cannot help my not feeling right if I am not able to dress female when I am feeling more female which is stronger at some times than at others but is basically there at some level all of the time and sometimes I feel more in my male.
It is just I feel at times as if... I shouldn't that it is exhibitionism to do so as if I am being in someone's face a male in female clothing which is not appropriate even though I feel female and may be wanting to I will opt not to for that reason. This really is who I am inside and I do know when I feel my female is stronger inside because this is who I am it is entirely appropriate for me to wear whatever I would like as long as it is similar to what any other woman would choose to wear...I am not an over the top person...because I do feel female I only want to wear what I would as a woman had I been lucky enough to have been born female.
You see...this is who I am...so...it really should be all OK...reality is that this is who I am.
This is probably too out there to get any responses.
Is it really right to dress female with a male body?
Moderators: KimberlyS, CathyAnn
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Anne Bonny
- Miss Diamond Goddess
- Posts: 2577
- Joined: Sat May 09, 2009 9:22 am
- Location: The Gulf Coast
Is it really right to dress female with a male body?
Go with the flow
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KimberlyS
- Site Administrator
- Posts: 3341
- Joined: Tue Feb 24, 2004 4:01 pm
- Location: North Central USA, SD
Re: Is it really right to dress female with a male body?
For me I just wear clothes. Some clothes are masculine and some clothes are feminine. But for me I am just wearing clothes. Maybe you need to get it out of your head you are buying or wearing men's or women's clothes. I buy and wear clothes for me that fit me. It did take me some shopping around to find clothes that fit, but once I have found clothes I like and fit, I just shop for my clothes. Just some may be masculine and some are feminine.
Now as for clothes designed for women??? I hate to tell you there are women of ever shape and size. You need to get out and go to the mall and other places and look at the variety of women. Look at women your age and see all of the different shapes, sizes, builds, and weights there are. Now some styles and makers of clothes design their clothes for the body types they sell to. Then do not get me started on every maker of clothes design, cut, and sew their clothes so they fit differently. Sizing is not the same across the board. So to get clothes that fit properly you need to try on clothes. Sometimes lots of clothes and lots of different stores and brands. Some stores do cater to different builds of people, so if you do not fit who they cater to, look else where.
And I hate to tell you, if you buy the better men clothes they are the same way as women's clothes are. You have a fitted look, and different clothes fit differently and many of the better men clothes have better and more comfortable fabrics. The thing is most men do not seem to care if their clothes fit properly, so they just get a size that fits and do not care if it is over sized and baggy.
And lastly if you do not think you should dress as a woman in femme clothes because you are a guy, then do not. Dress as a feminie guy in femme clothes. A nice casual feminie top, denim skirt, flats is a nice outfit to go to the mall shopping, grocery shopping, or out to lunch. Yea you may get a few looks, but IMHO if you are confident in who you are others will accept or tolerate you. I have done this when out of town without any issues. It is actually a quite freeing feeling to be out and about like this. IMHO if you can not pull off a blending femme look, many people are more accepting of a guy in casual femme clothes who is confident in his self.
kimberlys cd
joe in a skirt
Now as for clothes designed for women??? I hate to tell you there are women of ever shape and size. You need to get out and go to the mall and other places and look at the variety of women. Look at women your age and see all of the different shapes, sizes, builds, and weights there are. Now some styles and makers of clothes design their clothes for the body types they sell to. Then do not get me started on every maker of clothes design, cut, and sew their clothes so they fit differently. Sizing is not the same across the board. So to get clothes that fit properly you need to try on clothes. Sometimes lots of clothes and lots of different stores and brands. Some stores do cater to different builds of people, so if you do not fit who they cater to, look else where.
And I hate to tell you, if you buy the better men clothes they are the same way as women's clothes are. You have a fitted look, and different clothes fit differently and many of the better men clothes have better and more comfortable fabrics. The thing is most men do not seem to care if their clothes fit properly, so they just get a size that fits and do not care if it is over sized and baggy.
And lastly if you do not think you should dress as a woman in femme clothes because you are a guy, then do not. Dress as a feminie guy in femme clothes. A nice casual feminie top, denim skirt, flats is a nice outfit to go to the mall shopping, grocery shopping, or out to lunch. Yea you may get a few looks, but IMHO if you are confident in who you are others will accept or tolerate you. I have done this when out of town without any issues. It is actually a quite freeing feeling to be out and about like this. IMHO if you can not pull off a blending femme look, many people are more accepting of a guy in casual femme clothes who is confident in his self.
kimberlys cd
joe in a skirt
Site Administrator
I am a physically male person that likes to wear feminine clothes at times.
Just trying keep a balance for my self along with keeping my wife and kids in mind.
I am a physically male person that likes to wear feminine clothes at times.
Just trying keep a balance for my self along with keeping my wife and kids in mind.
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Noeleena
- Miss Platinum Goddess
- Posts: 409
- Joined: Fri Mar 29, 2013 5:09 am
- Location: South Island, New Zealand
Re: Is it really right to dress female with a male body?
Hi.
The can of worms does it look any different if its dressed in male clothe,s or female clothes ,
don't think it would matter as they don't fit any how even if you made the clothes to fit, the shape is wrong , okay so we look at the male body are females made for a male or are male clothes made for a female , no matter how you look at it in both case,s it still wont fit or is designed to fit,
unless its a robe or other very loose cover all and theres many nations that were robes or similar and look very nice on ether male or female . in those case,s there is a difference and it comes down to colour and the designs on them , so shows your rank or office you hold or for us . females wether your single married or a woman of the night and so those robe,s do have a meaning with in the nations concerned .
and the same can and does apply it the western world the different clothes and styles for men shame about the colours though .
for females we have a very different approach I know for my self its all about colours not so much the shape as that is set by my body shape and like most women so in a sense we can according to size almost wear the same clothes ,
So if a guy wears our clothes they wont fit and would look wrong , so no bra,s and tops just don't have it , a skirt like the Kilt yes , shoes I quess and depending on size and women to day are close to mens sizing , due to good food and a better life style okay I,m only talking about New Zealand and Australia,
Now there are some clothes designed for younger females I would not wear not because of my age at 71 its because I would not feel right about myself wearing them so there are differences even with what some females wear,
Now the dress and depends on the style shape and fit, many I will wear as I have my own and fit well in other words have a shower and slip into a dress no bra,s and looks good fits well and swings well movement as I walk or dance with one of my dance partners oh just a thought ,,,, sexy..... where will he be looking as we dance.....Hmmm....I wonder. any way side issue , or should that be a front issue ,quess I for get about that when dancing,,,,,,,, sorry just a slip ,,ooops,
I quess for us females its very different ,
I don't place as much importance on ….The....Clothes,.... as guys do or do they from my understanding for guys its a sex attraction device and yes many females have used that to their advantage , I quess in my case its a non event for myself it comes to who I am and the aspects about my self and not how I look that is more importaint , I don't dress to show myself off and I cant be bothered any way dressing nicely and looking lovely works for me, if people expect I have to be dressed according to a set of this is how you have to dress then don't bother telling l me how to I wont,i,m an individual and I have my own style and styles that suit who I am.
Men do and can wear a dress that can suit them and no reason not to, it,s what you try to do after that people take a note of and think is not right, its when you try to be other than who you are, or try to hide the real who you are, so comes to have a dress to fit you or clothes that do, this is the can of worms make it to fit your ...own … body or clothes that do this is the crux of the issues that are levelled at men .
For my self to wear male clothes is like they don't fit don't look right, and is not the fabric or colour its I don't have a male body I hated male clothes because of my body shape and trying to make them fit was like ,,,,trying to get out of a sack pants alone was so horroible I was never comfortable at least our NZ Navy Uniform was better at least I did not have to squirm about just trying to make it fit,
At least have a laugh . so you see men don't see things from our point of view it,s when they do , do they really understand what its like for us , or is it its over their head and just miss it,,,
try being a female from birth and then you,d understand its not quite a walk in the part , when you,v done it it will change your mind completely and see life as we do.
...noeleena...
The can of worms does it look any different if its dressed in male clothe,s or female clothes ,
don't think it would matter as they don't fit any how even if you made the clothes to fit, the shape is wrong , okay so we look at the male body are females made for a male or are male clothes made for a female , no matter how you look at it in both case,s it still wont fit or is designed to fit,
unless its a robe or other very loose cover all and theres many nations that were robes or similar and look very nice on ether male or female . in those case,s there is a difference and it comes down to colour and the designs on them , so shows your rank or office you hold or for us . females wether your single married or a woman of the night and so those robe,s do have a meaning with in the nations concerned .
and the same can and does apply it the western world the different clothes and styles for men shame about the colours though .
for females we have a very different approach I know for my self its all about colours not so much the shape as that is set by my body shape and like most women so in a sense we can according to size almost wear the same clothes ,
So if a guy wears our clothes they wont fit and would look wrong , so no bra,s and tops just don't have it , a skirt like the Kilt yes , shoes I quess and depending on size and women to day are close to mens sizing , due to good food and a better life style okay I,m only talking about New Zealand and Australia,
Now there are some clothes designed for younger females I would not wear not because of my age at 71 its because I would not feel right about myself wearing them so there are differences even with what some females wear,
Now the dress and depends on the style shape and fit, many I will wear as I have my own and fit well in other words have a shower and slip into a dress no bra,s and looks good fits well and swings well movement as I walk or dance with one of my dance partners oh just a thought ,,,, sexy..... where will he be looking as we dance.....Hmmm....I wonder. any way side issue , or should that be a front issue ,quess I for get about that when dancing,,,,,,,, sorry just a slip ,,ooops,
I quess for us females its very different ,
I don't place as much importance on ….The....Clothes,.... as guys do or do they from my understanding for guys its a sex attraction device and yes many females have used that to their advantage , I quess in my case its a non event for myself it comes to who I am and the aspects about my self and not how I look that is more importaint , I don't dress to show myself off and I cant be bothered any way dressing nicely and looking lovely works for me, if people expect I have to be dressed according to a set of this is how you have to dress then don't bother telling l me how to I wont,i,m an individual and I have my own style and styles that suit who I am.
Men do and can wear a dress that can suit them and no reason not to, it,s what you try to do after that people take a note of and think is not right, its when you try to be other than who you are, or try to hide the real who you are, so comes to have a dress to fit you or clothes that do, this is the can of worms make it to fit your ...own … body or clothes that do this is the crux of the issues that are levelled at men .
For my self to wear male clothes is like they don't fit don't look right, and is not the fabric or colour its I don't have a male body I hated male clothes because of my body shape and trying to make them fit was like ,,,,trying to get out of a sack pants alone was so horroible I was never comfortable at least our NZ Navy Uniform was better at least I did not have to squirm about just trying to make it fit,
At least have a laugh . so you see men don't see things from our point of view it,s when they do , do they really understand what its like for us , or is it its over their head and just miss it,,,
try being a female from birth and then you,d understand its not quite a walk in the part , when you,v done it it will change your mind completely and see life as we do.
...noeleena...
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Amanda R
- Miss Platinum Goddess
- Posts: 281
- Joined: Wed Dec 28, 2016 7:00 am
- Location: Duh! Where I am
Re: Is it really right to dress female with a male body?
Anne yes it is OK if you want to wear women's clothes. In spite of those who rail against the LGBTQ community and declare us heathens and abominations of nature the truth it is none of their business. We have a right to live our lives as we see fit within legal and moral limitations same as they do but one of those limitations is not wearing clothes of the other gender.
Kim raises some interesting points though perhaps her most poignant one being the are just clothes regardless of how society sees them. She does correctly observe that women come in all sizes and shapes. Yes there are many women's fashions designed to compliment a woman's figure particularly those aimed at the younger generations however they do not fit many women and not all women look good in figure hugging fashions IMO.
Women are not born with the innate ability to dress to accentuate or compliment their figure anymore than the ability to coordinate outfits, it is learned. Granted for the cis woman they are inundated with it almost from birth same as the idea that girls wear dresses and boys pants. They learn it from their mothers, grandmothers, other relatives, and even peers. Some get it and some never do. While every woman has her own "style" they have been influenced both good and bad by others. The best we trans women can do is observe,, learn from those willing to teach us, and develop our own style.
Noeleena raises an interesting point in men just don't get it and that is so true. Being raised by my mother with my sister there and having come out as early as I did, going FT when I was barely 18 I understand better some of the things women go through day in and out yet there are some things even I will never truly understand having never experienced them. Yes one can empathize but there is a tremendous difference between trying to understand and actually living it.
Anne there is nothing wrong with "feeling female" and the desire to dress accordingly and don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise. Yes there are things you will never experience or understand but that is OK. You are not the only one out there that feels this way and is what they are same as its what you are. As a friend of mine likes to say, "It's not right, it's not wrong, it just is."
Kim raises some interesting points though perhaps her most poignant one being the are just clothes regardless of how society sees them. She does correctly observe that women come in all sizes and shapes. Yes there are many women's fashions designed to compliment a woman's figure particularly those aimed at the younger generations however they do not fit many women and not all women look good in figure hugging fashions IMO.
Women are not born with the innate ability to dress to accentuate or compliment their figure anymore than the ability to coordinate outfits, it is learned. Granted for the cis woman they are inundated with it almost from birth same as the idea that girls wear dresses and boys pants. They learn it from their mothers, grandmothers, other relatives, and even peers. Some get it and some never do. While every woman has her own "style" they have been influenced both good and bad by others. The best we trans women can do is observe,, learn from those willing to teach us, and develop our own style.
Noeleena raises an interesting point in men just don't get it and that is so true. Being raised by my mother with my sister there and having come out as early as I did, going FT when I was barely 18 I understand better some of the things women go through day in and out yet there are some things even I will never truly understand having never experienced them. Yes one can empathize but there is a tremendous difference between trying to understand and actually living it.
Anne there is nothing wrong with "feeling female" and the desire to dress accordingly and don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise. Yes there are things you will never experience or understand but that is OK. You are not the only one out there that feels this way and is what they are same as its what you are. As a friend of mine likes to say, "It's not right, it's not wrong, it just is."
"We may have all come on different ships but we are in the same boat now."
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
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Anne Bonny
- Miss Diamond Goddess
- Posts: 2577
- Joined: Sat May 09, 2009 9:22 am
- Location: The Gulf Coast
Re: Is it really right to dress female with a male body?
Amanda thank you for your heart...I am seeing a female psychologist and she is such a wonderful fit that I am really excited about it. I have realized it is not about labeling so I have dropped all of that, and I have also realized that it is about who I am inside...and just relaxing living and being who I am, liking what makes me feel happy inside... She has read many of my posts they are about the losses and about who I am inside... LGBT is one of the things on her list, she is ex military like me, very intelligent, has her doctorate, and is open about her female partner. I think... hum...liking women too and feeling female we have something in common granted my feeling female is something that is stronger at times less so at others but is always there perhaps I should not even label myself as feeling female or male even those are labels...I am inside always who I am.
I will respond to all of you later...caught this am taking a friend sailing this morning...
I will respond to all of you later...caught this am taking a friend sailing this morning...
Go with the flow
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Anne Bonny
- Miss Diamond Goddess
- Posts: 2577
- Joined: Sat May 09, 2009 9:22 am
- Location: The Gulf Coast
Re: Is it really right to dress female with a male body?
Reading from bottom up...Hi Noleena, hum 71, I am 62 - 9 years. Yes, I see and I believe I finally get it!
drop all labels, and stop trying to be anything...just be who I am, like what I like and live my life. True for any born male an enormous chunk of what it is to be female is simply not there, and yes, not having a female body from birth as we are raised, socialized, reinforced, dressed etc...has also been denied to most born with a male body who are our age. Things are changing now and some parents are listening and allowing their children to experiment if they say they feel opposite and want to wear opposite ... clothing has no gender and is appropriate to who you are inside. Some of these young children will pass through a phase, some like myself would not have because I am different inside.... something within perceives myself to be female, feels female at least in part, for some fully.
I suppose addressing my own question...that is the huge sticking point our self talk of ought's and should's need to be examined what are we oughting and shoulding too...to a faulty set of conventions - exactly!
I suppose subtracting all that we were shut out of by virtue of being born with a male instead of female body, then the years of growing up female being acculturated also denied to nearly all of us what we are perceiving between our ears as female leaves us only able to be so truly about 25% with whatever we share with a male or female brain...who knows...preferences, interests, emotions, things we really like and enjoy and things we do not and acknowledging even men can share these but for this perception of being female inside our head...where the hell does that come from!? Am I mental? compulsive? or is this just who I happen to be? I do believe it is the latter this is just who I happen to be.
clothing intended for the female body form...well, I have seen many many lucky people who are as I am who are very pretty and their beauty is greatly enhanced so that they look amazing as women. Who wants to look like a man? I have no strong desires to look like a man being one physically and probably mostly mentally too albeit with a huge difference between my ears all the time. yes my female is there all of the time at some level. Women come in all shapes and sizes and they have to find what clothes look best on them. Having a male body we are starting far behind but we are able to read and learn and observe what female clothing will make us look amazing to us anyway...I do believe it is possible to look nice. Feeling quite female at times...I do not want to look male...so I do have to and I want to wear and look like the women around me...I want to have my forms in my bra, etc...
Like all women and men...what we want is subject to change with our mood and our emotions and depending on what is appropriate to wear for whatever we are doing.
So...I suppose for myself clothing is clothing and my options include all the clothing that is out there and I want those options available to me because it is all appropriate for who I am inside my head...I am a woman...and sometimes a man with a difference...women are subject to the same fluctuations in how they feel and in what they prefer and want.
But is it right? You know It is right... people do need to learn to accept that we are all different and that just as they do not want anyone telling them what they ought or should look like or feel like neither do we.
My preference is to fall into the mainstream of current attire depending on how I feel inside and what I am doing. I am a mainstream woman and observing others my age...desire to wear what I would be wearing had I been lucky enough to have been born and raised as a female.
drop all labels, and stop trying to be anything...just be who I am, like what I like and live my life. True for any born male an enormous chunk of what it is to be female is simply not there, and yes, not having a female body from birth as we are raised, socialized, reinforced, dressed etc...has also been denied to most born with a male body who are our age. Things are changing now and some parents are listening and allowing their children to experiment if they say they feel opposite and want to wear opposite ... clothing has no gender and is appropriate to who you are inside. Some of these young children will pass through a phase, some like myself would not have because I am different inside.... something within perceives myself to be female, feels female at least in part, for some fully.
I suppose addressing my own question...that is the huge sticking point our self talk of ought's and should's need to be examined what are we oughting and shoulding too...to a faulty set of conventions - exactly!
I suppose subtracting all that we were shut out of by virtue of being born with a male instead of female body, then the years of growing up female being acculturated also denied to nearly all of us what we are perceiving between our ears as female leaves us only able to be so truly about 25% with whatever we share with a male or female brain...who knows...preferences, interests, emotions, things we really like and enjoy and things we do not and acknowledging even men can share these but for this perception of being female inside our head...where the hell does that come from!? Am I mental? compulsive? or is this just who I happen to be? I do believe it is the latter this is just who I happen to be.
clothing intended for the female body form...well, I have seen many many lucky people who are as I am who are very pretty and their beauty is greatly enhanced so that they look amazing as women. Who wants to look like a man? I have no strong desires to look like a man being one physically and probably mostly mentally too albeit with a huge difference between my ears all the time. yes my female is there all of the time at some level. Women come in all shapes and sizes and they have to find what clothes look best on them. Having a male body we are starting far behind but we are able to read and learn and observe what female clothing will make us look amazing to us anyway...I do believe it is possible to look nice. Feeling quite female at times...I do not want to look male...so I do have to and I want to wear and look like the women around me...I want to have my forms in my bra, etc...
Like all women and men...what we want is subject to change with our mood and our emotions and depending on what is appropriate to wear for whatever we are doing.
So...I suppose for myself clothing is clothing and my options include all the clothing that is out there and I want those options available to me because it is all appropriate for who I am inside my head...I am a woman...and sometimes a man with a difference...women are subject to the same fluctuations in how they feel and in what they prefer and want.
But is it right? You know It is right... people do need to learn to accept that we are all different and that just as they do not want anyone telling them what they ought or should look like or feel like neither do we.
My preference is to fall into the mainstream of current attire depending on how I feel inside and what I am doing. I am a mainstream woman and observing others my age...desire to wear what I would be wearing had I been lucky enough to have been born and raised as a female.
Go with the flow
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Anne Bonny
- Miss Diamond Goddess
- Posts: 2577
- Joined: Sat May 09, 2009 9:22 am
- Location: The Gulf Coast
Re: Is it really right to dress female with a male body?
Hi Kimberly, and thanks...
I am finally where I should be...in the next phase I will be working to find my niche that is the degree of openness that I desire to have. I refuse having to lose any I know and love because many of them would condemn who I am inside based especially on how I appear at times, what I prefer to wear so personally that means striking the right balance. I do live alone...parents and grandparents are all gone, wife. I am sadly widowed...one son is leaving to work in Japan indefinitely in August and the other lives across town, is busy and I do not see him or his family ... at times for several weeks. I do have older sisters who live out of state. I have friends who do know....hooray!!! And there are new friends who would not be so accepting unfortunately I am fairly certain because they hold a belief in an arbitrary absolute truth that condemns the reality of who I am. Cannot do anything about any of that it is not all bad. No I do have to strike the right balance be empowered to be exactly who I am! It is amazing how much more I have moved openly into who I am.
I have read about clothing...that if you have broad shoulders sleeveless is not the best choice...and if you have no hips you need fuller skirts...or something that falls loosely over your midriff to hide the lack of curves. Ha! I found a one piece my wife had that fits me perfectly!!! it is pretty and it has a skort built in over the front which is perfect as it hides what would detract so much from looking like a woman in a one piece bathing suit where little is left to the imagination. I know also...the need for skirts and dresses which fall somewhat below the knees due to the shape of my legs...Yep...years ago I came across a funny or light hearted book: "The Lazy Crossdresser" by Charles Anders that opened my mind that women do come in all shapes and sizes.
We are a diverse community and we absolutely do have the right to be exactly who we are... but those who are out an about with over the top and bizarre way out of the conventional norms really effect the majority of what people think about who we happen to be even if we fall well withing the mainstream and look amazing and beautiful. I suppose it is up to us to change how people think as we are able a few at a time until they realize we are all different? Someone tattooed to the hilt with multiple piercings, mutilations, and bizarre hair wearing over the top femm clothing are entitled to their difference but are also different than we who fall into the mainstream and manage to look very nice as who we are...
So...it really is right and appropriate for those who are as we are to wear the clothing we love and want to wear that make us feel good about who we are...
I am finally where I should be...in the next phase I will be working to find my niche that is the degree of openness that I desire to have. I refuse having to lose any I know and love because many of them would condemn who I am inside based especially on how I appear at times, what I prefer to wear so personally that means striking the right balance. I do live alone...parents and grandparents are all gone, wife. I am sadly widowed...one son is leaving to work in Japan indefinitely in August and the other lives across town, is busy and I do not see him or his family ... at times for several weeks. I do have older sisters who live out of state. I have friends who do know....hooray!!! And there are new friends who would not be so accepting unfortunately I am fairly certain because they hold a belief in an arbitrary absolute truth that condemns the reality of who I am. Cannot do anything about any of that it is not all bad. No I do have to strike the right balance be empowered to be exactly who I am! It is amazing how much more I have moved openly into who I am.
I have read about clothing...that if you have broad shoulders sleeveless is not the best choice...and if you have no hips you need fuller skirts...or something that falls loosely over your midriff to hide the lack of curves. Ha! I found a one piece my wife had that fits me perfectly!!! it is pretty and it has a skort built in over the front which is perfect as it hides what would detract so much from looking like a woman in a one piece bathing suit where little is left to the imagination. I know also...the need for skirts and dresses which fall somewhat below the knees due to the shape of my legs...Yep...years ago I came across a funny or light hearted book: "The Lazy Crossdresser" by Charles Anders that opened my mind that women do come in all shapes and sizes.
We are a diverse community and we absolutely do have the right to be exactly who we are... but those who are out an about with over the top and bizarre way out of the conventional norms really effect the majority of what people think about who we happen to be even if we fall well withing the mainstream and look amazing and beautiful. I suppose it is up to us to change how people think as we are able a few at a time until they realize we are all different? Someone tattooed to the hilt with multiple piercings, mutilations, and bizarre hair wearing over the top femm clothing are entitled to their difference but are also different than we who fall into the mainstream and manage to look very nice as who we are...
So...it really is right and appropriate for those who are as we are to wear the clothing we love and want to wear that make us feel good about who we are...
Go with the flow
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Anne Bonny
- Miss Diamond Goddess
- Posts: 2577
- Joined: Sat May 09, 2009 9:22 am
- Location: The Gulf Coast
Re: Is it really right to dress female with a male body?
As I open myself to who I am, I am able to be who I am and can wear whatever I desire or am able to get away with. I suppose...it is strange because clothing is cut to fit a female or a male form and hard for people to accept men and women do perceive inside a difference that leads them to select and to pad or not as needed clothing designed to fit who they are inside. If done correctly any of us can look nice and some look phenomenal.
Found a great artical, there are many this one is talking about my inverted triangle body shape
https://40plusstyle.com/how-to-dress-th ... ody-shape/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
Found a great artical, there are many this one is talking about my inverted triangle body shape
https://40plusstyle.com/how-to-dress-th ... ody-shape/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
Go with the flow
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Anne Bonny
- Miss Diamond Goddess
- Posts: 2577
- Joined: Sat May 09, 2009 9:22 am
- Location: The Gulf Coast
Re: Is it really right to dress female with a male body?
Sometimes I have gone back to some message I have posted and have thought "Gee...this is incoherent!" and have felt scared or concerned about it I remember seeing one like that. I am also concerned about myself because there must be thousands and thousands of pages of emotional rants and angst as I have tried to work through issues I have over the years especially in the last decade. My practice is to go to the computer with my coffee or after just about every day and to set my thoughts down either on Penzu, Facebook, or crossdressers_haven.com depending on how I am feeling or am writing about...
I wonder if this could be some form of ADHD....thinking thinking thinking...but difference is I plan, I make lists and I get things done efficiently, I suppose that would rule ADHD out. My mind is hyperactive and obsesses on whatever it latches onto and overthinks it ... without ever really moving on. I will ask about this today at the Psychologist's.
The volume is astounding, there was one crossdressing site that went away that I started posting on in the late 1990's so all of this has been going on for years. What a huge waste it all is...going back to read some of those angst ridden and silly hand wringing rants...printed out there must be a foot of paper, probably more. What has been the good of any of this? When I die it should just be burnt or deleted. Has it helped me to work through any issues...well I must feel that it has, I have received responses on much of it...I do feel it has helped me to figure myself out an to make progress but at what a huge loss in hours out of nearly every day ... I am distressed when I see the thousands of pages and hours spent on them. It is awful and has probably led to my being so mental...as if my mind cannot stop thinking. Thinking is not a bad thing as a functioning human being we must think and problem solve but if it takes away the time we should be spending in having relationships, friendships, enjoying pleasurable activities then that is truly a huge waste.
I do have issues...Obviously there is my issue with how I feel inside that are gender related that have been there since I first became aware I was like this at age 9. There are issues having to do with my negative feeling about myself and I was very shy when I was young so my self esteem has always been very poor I feel I am not as smart as some, and feel badly about how I look. I had a real problem relating to the control of symptoms of asthma when I was young until I entered my late teens. I had horrible acne that scared my face from the steroids used when I was young. Teeth permanently stained grey from the use of tetracycline when I was young. I was overprotected because of my asthma. And my mother would sometimes yell at me and tell me I was stupid or lazy once I remember her telling me my legs looked like a girl's. I was never very social, growing up in a military household we moved 13 times by the time I started college and my reaction was to turn inward and not to bother forming attachments but I do remember having friends when I was young it just seems in my 20's these dropped off to practically nobody at all, parents, siblings.... I did make friends or associates when in Nursing School and met my wife who had many many friends so that I had "friends" by default. In the military I did not try to maintain contact with former work associates as I moved from one base to another. At some point I began to feel as if people were not worth it...or were more trouble than they are worth...were a bother or could be, may not be reliable or trustworthy...so I turned inward and was not motivated to be bothered by the effort to find, make and have friends. I tend to feel obligated if someone does something for me...I am obligated to reciprocate in equal measure.... I mean I do not like being in debt for things people do for me.
Marriage tends to change things somewhat...then Pat was diagnosed with Alzheimer's at age 52 though recalling how she had changed I believe I can trace it back to age 49.
My issues: being transgender, having a poor self esteem and not inclined to being social while at the same time not wanting to be alone. Grief though this is finally subsiding substantially. Depression or recurring bouts of feeling miserably "blue" yet at some level it seems to just be there all the time now...little interest or pleasure in doing things, little motivation to do anything, occasionally feeling I wish I were no longer here but not suicidal though at times I can have such thoughts I would never act on them even though I have thought about methods...making the jump to action I just do not see myself doing. I feel lost as if I am flailing and do not know what to do now that my wife is gone. I lost the most important thing that I had in life which was the person that I loved and who loved me so that we enjoyed what life is truly about which is about the sharing of experiences with the one you love. I have been very upset politically, I am conservative in my believe about how our country's problems should be solved but I am beginning to let go of that feeling whatever comes will come and there is little I can do but cast my vote and hope others agree more with me than with those on the other side of the divide. I do not share the same beliefs in issues of personal freedom obviously...being transgender I believe LGBT have the basic human right to live their lives openly and entirely free of persecution. I disagree with the extreme beliefs which would seek to persecute and eradicate the LGBT community from the face of the earth...Sharia Law, and what may as well be seen as Christian "Sharia" like beliefs which they also believe should be imposed on any who are like us such that our basic human rights to live openly and freely, to have a job, a home, and an equal right to advance in our work. I am somewhat less conservative socially in terms of personal freedom on some issues. I lost my ability to choose to have Faith and to rationalize it in a way so that I could because scientifically these ancient writings are severely problematic if you are choosing to make that leap. But I saw my wife have to endure and suffer horribly for 9 years at the hands of an obviously coldly indifferent deity who if there had the ability to grant her begging prayers to be cured of Alzheimer's or that it was not that...did not have to hear them because any who find some horrible disease who hold such beliefs are going to tearfully ask a so called loving deity for help. As I see it if there and by not doing anything a deity would be complicit in murder by default. So that was the end of my ability to ever consent to choose to have any rationalized "faith" the anger is too great...but there is no anger in agnosticism. I am staring my own mortality in the face once I turned 60 I realized in 20 years I would be 80 and there is a limit on the viability of our existence and that is very depressing, and very real it is just a fact of life. Feeling depressed is quite rational facing the end of our lifespan. In the end we all fade to black and are at some point no longer aware that we are no longer aware and that in itself is not really anything to fear rather it is important for us to enjoy the life that we have to the bitter end of it and hope we do not suffer too much in the end.
I wonder if this could be some form of ADHD....thinking thinking thinking...but difference is I plan, I make lists and I get things done efficiently, I suppose that would rule ADHD out. My mind is hyperactive and obsesses on whatever it latches onto and overthinks it ... without ever really moving on. I will ask about this today at the Psychologist's.
The volume is astounding, there was one crossdressing site that went away that I started posting on in the late 1990's so all of this has been going on for years. What a huge waste it all is...going back to read some of those angst ridden and silly hand wringing rants...printed out there must be a foot of paper, probably more. What has been the good of any of this? When I die it should just be burnt or deleted. Has it helped me to work through any issues...well I must feel that it has, I have received responses on much of it...I do feel it has helped me to figure myself out an to make progress but at what a huge loss in hours out of nearly every day ... I am distressed when I see the thousands of pages and hours spent on them. It is awful and has probably led to my being so mental...as if my mind cannot stop thinking. Thinking is not a bad thing as a functioning human being we must think and problem solve but if it takes away the time we should be spending in having relationships, friendships, enjoying pleasurable activities then that is truly a huge waste.
I do have issues...Obviously there is my issue with how I feel inside that are gender related that have been there since I first became aware I was like this at age 9. There are issues having to do with my negative feeling about myself and I was very shy when I was young so my self esteem has always been very poor I feel I am not as smart as some, and feel badly about how I look. I had a real problem relating to the control of symptoms of asthma when I was young until I entered my late teens. I had horrible acne that scared my face from the steroids used when I was young. Teeth permanently stained grey from the use of tetracycline when I was young. I was overprotected because of my asthma. And my mother would sometimes yell at me and tell me I was stupid or lazy once I remember her telling me my legs looked like a girl's. I was never very social, growing up in a military household we moved 13 times by the time I started college and my reaction was to turn inward and not to bother forming attachments but I do remember having friends when I was young it just seems in my 20's these dropped off to practically nobody at all, parents, siblings.... I did make friends or associates when in Nursing School and met my wife who had many many friends so that I had "friends" by default. In the military I did not try to maintain contact with former work associates as I moved from one base to another. At some point I began to feel as if people were not worth it...or were more trouble than they are worth...were a bother or could be, may not be reliable or trustworthy...so I turned inward and was not motivated to be bothered by the effort to find, make and have friends. I tend to feel obligated if someone does something for me...I am obligated to reciprocate in equal measure.... I mean I do not like being in debt for things people do for me.
Marriage tends to change things somewhat...then Pat was diagnosed with Alzheimer's at age 52 though recalling how she had changed I believe I can trace it back to age 49.
My issues: being transgender, having a poor self esteem and not inclined to being social while at the same time not wanting to be alone. Grief though this is finally subsiding substantially. Depression or recurring bouts of feeling miserably "blue" yet at some level it seems to just be there all the time now...little interest or pleasure in doing things, little motivation to do anything, occasionally feeling I wish I were no longer here but not suicidal though at times I can have such thoughts I would never act on them even though I have thought about methods...making the jump to action I just do not see myself doing. I feel lost as if I am flailing and do not know what to do now that my wife is gone. I lost the most important thing that I had in life which was the person that I loved and who loved me so that we enjoyed what life is truly about which is about the sharing of experiences with the one you love. I have been very upset politically, I am conservative in my believe about how our country's problems should be solved but I am beginning to let go of that feeling whatever comes will come and there is little I can do but cast my vote and hope others agree more with me than with those on the other side of the divide. I do not share the same beliefs in issues of personal freedom obviously...being transgender I believe LGBT have the basic human right to live their lives openly and entirely free of persecution. I disagree with the extreme beliefs which would seek to persecute and eradicate the LGBT community from the face of the earth...Sharia Law, and what may as well be seen as Christian "Sharia" like beliefs which they also believe should be imposed on any who are like us such that our basic human rights to live openly and freely, to have a job, a home, and an equal right to advance in our work. I am somewhat less conservative socially in terms of personal freedom on some issues. I lost my ability to choose to have Faith and to rationalize it in a way so that I could because scientifically these ancient writings are severely problematic if you are choosing to make that leap. But I saw my wife have to endure and suffer horribly for 9 years at the hands of an obviously coldly indifferent deity who if there had the ability to grant her begging prayers to be cured of Alzheimer's or that it was not that...did not have to hear them because any who find some horrible disease who hold such beliefs are going to tearfully ask a so called loving deity for help. As I see it if there and by not doing anything a deity would be complicit in murder by default. So that was the end of my ability to ever consent to choose to have any rationalized "faith" the anger is too great...but there is no anger in agnosticism. I am staring my own mortality in the face once I turned 60 I realized in 20 years I would be 80 and there is a limit on the viability of our existence and that is very depressing, and very real it is just a fact of life. Feeling depressed is quite rational facing the end of our lifespan. In the end we all fade to black and are at some point no longer aware that we are no longer aware and that in itself is not really anything to fear rather it is important for us to enjoy the life that we have to the bitter end of it and hope we do not suffer too much in the end.
Go with the flow
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Bernice
- Miss Golden Goddess
- Posts: 615
- Joined: Fri Feb 27, 2004 11:24 pm
- Location: Northeast Kansas
Re: Is it really right to dress female with a male body?
As to your original post, may I remind you of this:
"During an era in which wearing trousers in public was considered acceptable for men only, Katharine Hepburn insisted on wearing trousers on and off set."
Whether it was right or not will probably never be "settled science", but her insistence on pants was a turning point in what women wear in the US.
Why should it be any different for biological males?
May I suggest if you are living alone, with few visitors, that you arrange your life, if only for a week or two, to live 100% in skirts/dresses. Sure, you may feel silly after a few hours, but I predict that after a few days, you will come to see that dresses are just clothes. Skirts are just clothes. Stockings, brassieres, panties, pumps, flats, heels, blouses, all just clothes. Let me emphasize: Just clothes. They don't change who you are, at least not for more that a few hours. You put on a dress in the morning, for exactly the same reasons you would put on pants and a shirt. Why should anyone besides you tell you what to wear? Your mother doesn't need to do that anymore, and frankly your tastes are no doubt better for you than her choices for you were.
As for your most recent post on this thread, it sounds like you are grappling with our mortality - something we all do. I recently spent a medium sized fortune on an absurdly large subwoofer for my stereo, not because I needed it, but because I wanted it, and because I can't keep putting off my desires for another decade (I've wanted a subwoofer since about 1980), because I might not have another decade. My point, if there is one, is that soon it will be time, or it may already be time, for you to live your life the way you want to, and not live it the way you perceive other people want you to live your life.
Hugs,
Bernice
"During an era in which wearing trousers in public was considered acceptable for men only, Katharine Hepburn insisted on wearing trousers on and off set."
Whether it was right or not will probably never be "settled science", but her insistence on pants was a turning point in what women wear in the US.
Why should it be any different for biological males?
May I suggest if you are living alone, with few visitors, that you arrange your life, if only for a week or two, to live 100% in skirts/dresses. Sure, you may feel silly after a few hours, but I predict that after a few days, you will come to see that dresses are just clothes. Skirts are just clothes. Stockings, brassieres, panties, pumps, flats, heels, blouses, all just clothes. Let me emphasize: Just clothes. They don't change who you are, at least not for more that a few hours. You put on a dress in the morning, for exactly the same reasons you would put on pants and a shirt. Why should anyone besides you tell you what to wear? Your mother doesn't need to do that anymore, and frankly your tastes are no doubt better for you than her choices for you were.
As for your most recent post on this thread, it sounds like you are grappling with our mortality - something we all do. I recently spent a medium sized fortune on an absurdly large subwoofer for my stereo, not because I needed it, but because I wanted it, and because I can't keep putting off my desires for another decade (I've wanted a subwoofer since about 1980), because I might not have another decade. My point, if there is one, is that soon it will be time, or it may already be time, for you to live your life the way you want to, and not live it the way you perceive other people want you to live your life.
Hugs,
Bernice