why i hate labels

Miss Britney · Post by **Miss Britney** » Sat Oct 30, 2004 3:30 pm

on mother's day this year my mother and father caught me red-handed wearing one of my skirts. they have since informed the rest of my extended family that i am a transvestite. i am not comfortable with this label. for me crossdressing is both a fetish, and also a good chunk of my personality; but i don't consider myself a transvestite. i do not wish to radically change my looks or go through surgery. call me selfish but i'm one of the types that wants it all. i love my male anatomy but would also love to experience life as a woman. i guess where it breaks down for me is that i already know i wouldn't make a very pretty girl. i don't want to try to convince myself that i'm pretty as a girl when my sexuality has always been primarily masculine. so i compromise and delve into my fantasies with my girlfriend who is extremely accepting and is more than happy to oblige any needs that i have. i'm not really sure how far i want to go but i can't deny that i have a female personality and a male personality.

i guess the point of this long rant is to say that i am unique in my desires and needs and hate it when people try to "categorize" me so that they can justify base judgements on my character. how have you guys/girls dealt with stereotyping and ignorance from family and a world that can't take the time to understand a person's motives even if they are at times purely sexual?

Loretta Ann · Post by **Loretta Ann** » Sat Oct 30, 2004 4:13 pm

Britney,

Hi again so soon.

Labels are necessary for communication purposes, how ever they will never be adequate in describing all of us as we are all so diverse, yet still with a common thread that brings us together.

One is family by chance, One is friends by choice. And there are times when certain individuals need to be removed from ones life.

It is sometimes helpful to let those who can not understand us to leave, albeit they usually do it by making the other person appear to be in the wrong.

For me it has usually turned out to be a blessing in disguise.

Don't know if this will help you at all?

Katy-Jane · Post by **Katy-Jane** » Sat Oct 30, 2004 4:22 pm

Hi Britney,

it seems the your immediate family have not dealt very well with your CDing, and it is very unfortunate they decided to tell your wider family, I assume without your permission. That must have alienated you terribly. You make an excellent point in observing that your female personality is just one part of the whole you!

All of us are complex characters, as all human beings are, and as you do, I identify stongly with my male self some of the time, my female self at other times.

You are very fortunate in that you have an understanding SO, who you can share with. I wish I could say how best to deal with all the fear and ignorance with regard to CDing, but I can't really. All I can say is I'm very choosy who I tell about it!!

One thing I have discovered is that reading the SO posts here is really great. It has helped give me an idea of how hard it must be for those close to us to deal with our dressing, and I value those posts greatly. (If you are an SO reading this, thank you so much for your participation in this forum. I may never meet you, but your wisdom and thoughts have touched my life in ways I am very grateful for).

I wish you well Britney in being who you are. You rightly hate labels, we all have a right to our own uniqueness, enjoy yours.

Katy-Jane

Post by **DonnaT** » Sat Oct 30, 2004 6:09 pm

Hello Britney,

Well, having all the family know you CD is probably a relief in that you don't need to hide who you are.

Have you explained the difference between a CD, TV and TS to your folks?

When I explain it I say a CD (crossdresser) is one whu dresses, ocasionally, in the clothes of the opposite gender; a TV (transvestite) is one who would prefer to dress and act as a person of the opposite gender nearly 24/7; and a TS (transexual) is a person that goes through sex reasignment surgery (SRS) because they really believe they were born in the wrong body and should have been born the opposite gender.

Virginia · Post by **Virginia** » Sat Oct 30, 2004 10:23 pm

Britney,
Your sisters here are a wealth of knowledge. My SO "outed" me to my family and her brother (in his ignorance) said, "if he hurts my sister, I'll kill him!" Is all eductation I will recommend that you take a look at the web site, maybe even copy it and let them read it too.
http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepage ... /anima.htm
Good luck,
Virginia