My Life-long Interest in Skirted Garments

[Maggie]

Since I was a boy, I have taken an interest in skirted garments - although not necessarily for transgender reasons. I was curious about how it would feel to wear a dress - whether it would be more comfortable than trousers, or whether I would feel too exposed. But I was always too scared - and too "macho" - to find out.

My interest was further piqued when a male cousin my age went to school dressed as a girl one Halloween.

I first discovered the physical comfort of skirted garments during my early teens, when I tried on some of my mother's cotton dresses, which I found discarded in our basement. It was a time of stress, because my best friend had just died, and I had time alone at home after school, before other members of the family came home.

I began wearing dresses in private, whenever I had the chance, because they felt so much more comfortable than trousers. This was not a "transgender" thing for me. I did not like the idea of having to "crossdress" in order to wear a skirt. I felt ashamed of crossdressing. However, at that time, kilts were not an option for males in the United States, even if I had been able to buy one.

Much later, when I had my own apartment and was not yet married, I briefly tried to confront my "crossdressing" motivations by dressing fully in drag, just to see what would come of it. That is when I first created "Maggie." After doing this privately for a few months, my curiosity was satisfied.

I decided that crossdressing was a pointless exercise for me, and that I would much prefer being a man in a man's kilt. I proceeded to purchase my first kilt, and I have been wearing men's kilts, Utilikilts, and casual kilts ever since. I found them to be much more practical and comfortable than women's skirts and dresses - as well as being increasingly socially acceptable as menswear. Also, my wife is fully supportive of my kilt wearing.

My current interest in female impersonation began almost two years ago, during another stressful period, when I began privately experimenting with "Maggie" in front of my video camera. I was toying with the idea of eventually performing in drag for a church fund-raising event. I was truly surprised at how well I did on tape, so I kept practicing and perfecting my skill at convincingly portraying a woman.

Now I have performed as a woman in two church fund-raising events. My success at female impersonation also helped to launch my amateur acting career, leading to numerous male roles for the church theater group and in community theaters. I have also gotten to learn a lot about transgenderism, to understand the challenges TGs face, and to personally meet a variety of people in the TG community. It has been a broadening experience, on many levels.

http://members.aol.com/miscmg/maggie-dig54.jpg

[DonnaT]

Maggie, Maggie, Maggie. So you never really came to terms with crossdressing during your youth. A lot of us didn't, but that does not change the fact that we were transgendered and crossdressers. Wearing women's clothes, for what ever the reason is crossdressing. During my youth, I had no knowledge of the term transgendered. However, that doesn't mean I wasn't transgendered.

Same with you, and now, instead of believing that this crossdressing and being transgendered has come out of your performances on stage, you can rest assured you were born with it, discovered it early, but denied it. Same as most of the rest of us. Just one of the girls!

[Maggie]

Donna, it sure would be a lot simpler (not easier, but simpler) if I could embrace the fact that mentally I have been a girl all my life, and that Maggie is in fact the "true" me. This possibility has not escaped my attention. It certainly is the most straightforward explanation of who I am. If we applied the principle of "Occam's Razor" to my situation, the most efficient explanation would be that I have always been a girl in a male body.

This would also explain why I cherish the dozens of pictures I have of Maggie, but I have very few of myself as a man. (But then again, how many men have many pictures of themselves?) It would also explain why it feels so liberating and exciting when I see Maggie in the mirror and declare to myself, "I'm a woman!" And it feels good to be accepted by you and the other sisters as "one of the girls."

But, in addition to the practical obstacles to expressing my womanhood, I suspect that my situation really isn't that simple. There is still this male part of me, which is just as real and at least as strong as the female part, which will not be denied either. Somehow I must find a way to express them both.

[DonnaT]

Well, you are expressing them both. I don't think you can express both at the same time though. In fact, you are expressing your fem side much more than I am. My male side is much more dominate than my female side (85% to 15%) See the test at: http://web.tickle.com/tests/genderident ... /index.jsp

Whether Maggie is the true you will take time to discover. However, if you dreamed of being a little girl when you were a little boy, then I would interpret that as Maggie being the true you. I said "I" not "you"

Did you take the Cogiati test?

http://transsexual.org/Ttestpages1.html

It will give you an indication of where you appear to be with respect to your gender identity.

My results are posted at http://crossdressers-forum.com/forums/v ... c&start=60

[Maggie]

My COGNATI score this time was 120: Class Three - Androgyne. I have taken this test before, and sometimes I fall into Class Two - Feminine Male, depending on how I feel on a particular day. I really am not sure what, if any, validity the test has.

[Violet]

I look at webtests about the same as tarot cards; mainly useful to help you get a fix/handle on the issues within yourself, you will project onto the results whatever meanings help you to resolve your internal difficulties.

[Ms Jane]

Maggie have you, or would you, wear a slip under a kilt? I have often thought about kilts but I reckon that I couldn't resist wearing a slip so I gave that idea up. Regards Jane.

[Maggie]

Maggie have you, or would you, wear a slip under a kilt?

No as to both questions.