Need some advice...

[Loretta Ann]

Hi Britany,

But to make a sweeping generalization that you can never tell or trust anyone seems so bleak and depressing, and certainly doesn't give much hope to many people who come to these forums looking for hope and encouragement.

That may well be the way you see it. And you are certainly free to see it like that. First off I was not aware that I made a sweeping generalization that you can never tell or trust anyone. I simply do not tell anyone until I reach a place that if they would out me that I would be prepared to accept and deal with the consequences. Therefore for me trust is not an issue. It dose not need to be one when handled like that.

There are people in this world that are not interested in what one does behind closed doors. And in fact don't want to know about it. I actively support some of them who are in a similar position to the one you are in politically. Who have made the statement to me that one should be who they are.

It is a freer world for those who are able be like that. In fact My qualified therapist (who in fact is qualified far beyond a therapist.) Turned away from me when I attempted to tell him more than he wanted to know about me. Today many years later, we are still friends.

Being as we are all short of being perfect human beings which area of ones life should we trust? I prefer to be trusted to make mistakes, just as you made a mistake, that caused you to come here for support, as you have done in this thread.

I think I'm trying to say that you seem to sell people short to some degree.

I think I am saying that some people don't need anyone to sell them short. They seem to do a good enough job of that all on their own, without any assistance from others.

All the best.

[Brittany]

Thanks everyone for your input and advice. This was one of the--let's just be straight-forward here--*stupidest* things I've ever done, and I hope in the end it will work itself out. It does make me feel good to know that if things go a little awry I'll have some folks to talk to :-)

I'll definitely follow up with any news as things transpire.

[Beauty]

Hi Brittany,

Yuppers! We'll love you here as much as you want to be loved.

[Loretta Ann]

Hi Britany,

This was one of the--let's just be straight-forward here--*stupidest* things I've ever done.

I hope your not beating yourself up over this hon. I hope everything turns out OK. In any event as Beauty said we are here for you.

[Brittany]

Thank you so much Loretta, Beauty, and everyone else who has contributed. At this oint I'm beating myself up a little less, but the final determination will have to wait until things move forward a bit more. I hope beyond hope it will work out. If not, it's nice knowing you're all so genuinely concerned and here for me :-)

[Bernice]

Forgive me for coming late to this party...

This was one of the--let's just be straight-forward here--*stupidest* things I've ever done

If I may paraphrase from John and Martha King...
How do you avoid making mistakes? By becoming educated.
How do you become educated? By making mistakes!

Stupid question: I assume your girlfriend is merely that - a purely platonic friend who happens to be a girl - and that your loving wife knows and accepts this?

Ignorant question (since I almost never drink): If drunken-ness and lack of judgement go hand in hand, might this experience affect your future decision-making about drinking?

As for who you tell, and when, perhaps this is not all bad. Perhaps you are experimenting with how to tell someone about your second self. Even if this particular gesture was perhaps ill-conceived, maybe you are subconciously working out a way to come out of the closet entirely. You could fine-tune your presentation until you find one that consistently works.

I envy those who have come out of the closet entirely. Many here on the forum have done so, and are healthier for it. I personally still have too much to lose. I'm losing it pretty quickly though, so perhaps my day will also come!

Hugs,

Bernice

[Beauty]

Hi Bernice,

Good to see you back!