Hi, neighbor!

[Angie]

Hello, everyone!

It's been a while since I've posted anything more than a few lines, but I wanted to share something that happened just a little while ago that gives me hope that attitudes may (slowly) be changing even here in the traditionally conservative southeastern U.S.

This past Sunday morning I had some work to do around the house, so I dressed casually (jean shorts, knit top, breast forms, wig) and put on a bit of makeup before attending to the chores. I went out to the garage to feed the Orange Posse (that would be my three orange cats) and brought the water bowl in to fill it. When I returned to the garage, there was my neighbor standing there. Needless to say, I freaked inside, but just acted like nothing was amiss. She showed no reaction whatsoever and asked to borrow my lawnmower. I said, "Sure, no problem" and went back in the house, still stunned.

I've been debating over the past couple of days as to whether I should bring up the incident to her and discuss it or just let it drop. Since she has children, I didn't want her to think that there was a "nut" living just across the street, so I decided to get it out in the open.

I just returned from that "chat" and guess what? She was perfectly cool with it. When I asked her if she felt uncomfortable that morning, she replied, "Did I seem shocked to you?". I told her how incredibly relieved I was and her response was, "You have got to be who you are". I'm positively on Cloud 9 at the moment.

One person does not reflect the whole by a long shot, but these little "victories" certainly do feel nice!

Take Care
Angie

[DonnaT]

Wow, that's great Angie.

[Jeannie]

You showed her exactly what you are. A person like all of us. No more no less. It feels good doesn't it Hon?Keep the faith Angie. Every journey starts with the first step. Make others realize with are not a threat. We are just being ourselves like most get to do in life. The more you talk with her the more she will start to understand. You will become the person next door. Not the pervert that you are not. Be who you are Hon. It take guts to be who we are. Thank you Angie. Big Hug Hon!


Love
Jeannie

[Virginia]

Well Hello, girlfriend! I often have thought of you and what you were upto. I am so glad to see your post, hope you will have time to stay around for a while. So many things have happened since we last spoke I would not even know where to start, so I will say you are just TOO COOL!!! I am so glad that not so much that your neighbor accepted you, but that you had the intestinal fortitude to "confront her!!" I knew you were cool ehough to handle it anyway!
Keep the faith, honey, and please stay and participate!
Love ya,
Virginia

[CJ]

Hi all,

Angie,

It's so great to see you post!

That was a good thing that happened, a good thing, indeed. Something you said, though, reminded me that it's not just other people's attitudes that we can hope are changing but our own as well; it's when you said that you didn't want her to think that she's living nextdoor to a "nut." It's sort of sad that the society we live in--even if, as you said, it's traditionally conservative--will tend to make us see ourselves as "nuts" (regardless of whether or not we refer to ourselves as such in jest). We all have a long way to go but your being out there, being yourself, and your neighbour being herself as she tells you that she's fine with it are two humongous steps in the right direction. A hundred times "Bravo!" to the both of you.

Love,
CJ

[Angie]

Hi, CJ!

You are absolutely correct. It is hard not to be swayed by societal conventions that whatever deviates from the norm must therefore be deviant. I guess in the strictest terms that is the definition of deviant, but for most folks, that word has sinister overtones.

I don't see myself as anything but someone possessing two genders. Different, yes, but sick? No.

There was a time when I felt that society was right about people like us. Through the wonderful friends I have made in this forum and through the understanding of others outside of the TG community, I have come to realize the fallacy of "the norm". I don't think that such a thing really exists. We're all different in our own ways.

Take Care
Angie

[Jaye]

Long time no see, Angie!

I'm glad to see someone else making strides out there. Out on my last shopping trip, I realized I needed to pay my car insurance. I drove down to the State Farm office and went in to pay the bill. The agent was a little surprised to see me that way, but she didn't react in any negative fashion.

[Angie]

Jaye,

I don't think my insurance agent is ready to meet my "better half" , but my hat is off to you, lady!

I have yet to run into any truly negative attitudes while being out and about (I know they are there). Most of the time, the public either does not notice or does not care. When my SO and I were visiting Key West a few weeks ago, I spent time lounging on the beach, going shopping and dining. Everyone was very courteous. Even the other tourists. Granted, Key West is known for being accepting of just about anything, but I received the same reactions when we were back on the mainland.

I'm a bit more cautious when "getting out" back home, even though most of my coworkers and friends are "in the loop" . There are some wonderful people in my life that just would not understand. Still, I can't schedule my life around my presentation. Today, I'm Angie, so I don't dare go to the grocery store - NOT! I need to take a cue from you and just go about my life, running the errands, paying the insurance bill and just being who I am like my neighbor said.

Take Care
Angie

[Darth_Wolfenbarg]

This morning was garbage day. I was tired and didn't notice that I went to take it out barefoot. My neighbor kept looking down and finally asked about my toes. I looked down... pink... woops. I just laughed and told him it was part of a stupid picture thing with some netfriends (which is partly true) and he just laughed in a friendly manner and we chatted some more before I got back in. Luckily I got in without my mom or brother seeing, that wouldn't have been so easy to talk off.

I'm glad that you were brave enough to talk to your neighbor like that. That takes some serious courage in my opinion. Kudos.

[Anita]

Hi Angie--
You handled that one well, hon! You had the courage to bring it up again, and find out where you stood. That is not easy to do! But you were right in knowing that if she has children, she might be more sensitive to anything that happens in the neighborhood. What we are about is not well understood, at all, and you made sure that she was informed about who YOU were, at least.

I hope you can get some time running errands in nearby cities, if you don't feel comfortable in your local area.

[Angie]

Darth - Your story reminded me of the first time my mother noticed that I was wearing nail polish. I was in my early thirties. She was not one to care what people thought of her, but she was always very protective of me and worried what people might think of my appearance. Her comment upon seeing the polish was, "Is that nail polish??? I didn't raise a crossdresser!". Mind you, this was not an antagonistic exchange at all. Truth is, she was right. She didn't raise a crossdresser. For whatever wonderful reason, it just happened. She finally got used to the polish, but I never had the fortitude to confide in her my secret.

These days, I wear polish all of the time. Sure, my workplace is too conservative for me to present as a female during the week, but I've "warned" my co-workers to expect anything if I get called in for a problem after hours or on weekends. They are pretty cool with it.

I don't know your mom or brother's temperament toward nail polish, but wearing polish to me is kinda like guys getting their ears pierced 20 years ago. It was slightly "taboo" and heaven forbid if you had the "wrong" ear pierced! Just go slow with it and I'll bet they will get used to the polish in time.

Anita - Hope you had LOTS of fun during SF Pride! I would have loved to have been there this year as I had so much fun there in '05, but my SO and I had a trip to Florida in the works. Maybe next year. In the meantime, I'm just going to start getting out around town and stop worrying about running into people I know. If it happens, it happens. None of us should feel the slightest shame for who we are!

Take Care
Angie