The "Secret"

Danielle La Belle · Post by **Danielle La Belle** » Sat Sep 23, 2006 10:47 am

http://www.aarpmagazine.org/people/secrets.html

The link is to a current web article posted by the AARP magazine. Do not concern yourself if you are younger than 50. This article touches all ages and walks of life.

Telling someone about "your secret life," can be both uplifting and burden releasing in many ways. Of course, it has always been considered unhealthy to just tuck away your big secret as it shows in your outward personality and attitude.

The article touches on just such a case. Regardless of the example, the subject matter could easily have been built around someone being a closet "TG" person of any stripe.

I found great relief in "outing" myself and at the same time, with extensive planning on this subject, knew for the most part, what the reaction would be from my loved ones. There really were no surprises for the most part. Their behavior has been consistent with my personal experience.

I found that the key for me was planning over a 5 year period. WOW! 5 years! Yes I started to consider the idea in 1995 and imlemented my plan in 2000. Not the best of years as the stock market took a dive in the spring of that year.

Never the less, I followed through with my plan and if you follow my thread (Revelations), you know how things have gone so far. Some good, some not so good and a time or two, well, really bad, but the family lurches forward with wreckless abandon for the most part.

No going back you see. What is said is "said and done." I guess this applies throughout life; you cannot take back what you say, you can only repent in your own way when applicable and move on. Spilled milk as they say!

http://postsecret.blogspot.com/

A sincerely different concept to "telling a secret."

Hugs,

Danielle Marie

Lydia · Post by **Lydia** » Sat Sep 23, 2006 2:23 pm

Hi Danielle,

I have been cosidering responding to your post. Then not. Then yes. - So here goes.

I have reached the age when I am strongly tempted to write my autobiography - my memoirs. My life has been interesting enough, I think, that somebody else might enjoy reading about it. Beginning with my parents escaping, barely with their lives, from the bloody (literally) civil war and revolution in Russia; the story of my half-brother executed by the mafia; my frantic teen years with battling parents; survival in the Great Depression; the twists and turns of my career.

My quandry comes with revealling my secret - well known only to my SO and the members of this forum - my crossdressing. Yourcomments about "secrets" are truly thought provoking. I have written a few chapters, unorganized, of my memoirs already, but including my crossdressing - not yet. I am not ready to come "out", and may never be. To be completely honest in my autobiography, this should be there, but then I am "outed." What to do?

Maybe this is not the right time and place to expose my problems, but somehow I have developed an affection and trust for so many sisters here.

Hugs,

Lydia

Danielle La Belle · Post by **Danielle La Belle** » Sat Sep 23, 2006 3:46 pm

My Dear Lydia:

God bless you! Something tells me you are a real sweetheart! I think that this has to be something that you want to do, rather than should do or needs to be done. The article from AARP as I read it today again, made it clear to me that telling your secret carries with it more than just the initial statement. Something tells me that if you really need to think about it, this idea might not be for you.

It will become part of your history and life story for people that you are closest to. It took me 5 years to decide that knowing as I did, the impact that this carries, is as they say, 'the cat is out of the bag and running down the street for all to see."

Personally, I would gather up my life story into modules (chapters) leaving room later to adopt this [secret] if after extensive thought, the time is up to you, that it would be in the best interests of self and loved ones that you "out yourself. What will it serve is the main question! What to gain, what to lose?

My Mother is 90 years old, and my father is 87 years. I would never dream of telling them. To what end would it serve at this late age and time? It would be selfish indeed for me to now change their view of me. The right time, has past long ago. I want them to go quietly into the night undisturbed when it is their time.

Hugs

Danielle Marie

Lydia · Post by **Lydia** » Sun Sep 24, 2006 2:38 pm

Hi Danielle,

I really don't know why I should write memoirs. Maybe becauseI have told some of these stories to friends, and most seem interested.

I have actually written up a few of these "modules" or "chapters". Some in short story form. I thought I could write the chapter on crossdrsssing and encrypt it to be unveiled after my death.

I really don't care what happens after I die. I won't know about it, so why worry. The only person close to me is Paula. I have no relatives of any sort that I know of, and there are no children. I have a somewhat biographical web-site (not to be revealed here), which is essentially an ego trip.

I think I might continue the short story notion, and these can be embellished. You'll be the first to know if any get published.

Thanks much for your response. It warmed the cockles of my heart.

Hugs,

Lydia