My SO is totally with me!

Lisbeth · Post by **Lisbeth** » Thu Jan 18, 2007 4:39 pm

I came out totally to my wife today and she is fine with it! I even asked her if she would be shocked or upset if she came home and found me in a dress. She told me that she loves me no matter what and she will support me anyway she can. I'm sitting here in tight panties ( the better to tuck, my dear.) panty hose, a bra and nice jeans and a T-shirt waiting for her to come home. I'm so happy I'm in a daze. It's like my whole life just changed totally for the better. She is one of a kind, my wife. All my panic and anxiety about telling her just vanished. I want to thank the Forum. Just knowing that you are all in the same kind of mind set helps me tremendously. Thank you. All of you empower me. That's enough for now. I'm just so happy I had to tell someone. Thanks. Love you all,Lisbeth

Virginia · Post by **Virginia** » Thu Jan 18, 2007 8:09 pm

Lisbeth,
Perhaps you missed the first day of class?! The "golden rule" is "baby steps, honey, just baby steps!"
If we don't hear from you tomorrow = Friday where do we send the flowers!
Virginia

Sandi · Post by **Sandi** » Thu Jan 18, 2007 11:02 pm

Lisbeth enjoy

Post by **DonnaT** » Thu Jan 18, 2007 11:12 pm

Congraatulations Lisbeth.

Be careful, and don't overwhelm her. Sometimes, a wife can say one thing, because she hasn't really seen her husband in a dress, and when she does, she starts feeling the opposite. Baby steps, and communication.

And ask her if she'd like to join the forum to talk to other SOs.

Lisbeth · Post by **Lisbeth** » Thu Jan 18, 2007 11:13 pm

It's going to be fine. She had known about the panties and things and I think she probably suspected. When she came home she told me she liked my out fit but we would have to go shopping for shoes. I love this woman! I think we've been taking baby steps all along. Thanks for caring. Lisbeth

Jess(SO) · Post by **Jess(SO)** » Fri Jan 19, 2007 9:58 am

Lisbeth,

Glad things are going well, but trust us honey we have been there, done that, bought the t-shirt, wrote the book and made the movie between us all, several times over, as the girls say gently gently. It will be so tempting to rush things now that your wife knows and is/seems cool with htings, but now is the time to let her lead the way so that you don't overwhelm her.

I made the classic mistake when I discovered my partners dressing, I went out and bought him things the next day, and for several days after, things went down hill rapidly for one reason and another, both of us got pushed way out of our comfort zones way too soon, so you really do need to take baby steps.

If your wife would like to join us it would be great.

Jess

Georgia(SO) · Post by **Georgia(SO)** » Fri Jan 19, 2007 11:55 am

Just to define baby steps here -

OK. So she has known about the panties for a while. She has suggested that ya'll go shopping for a dress. That's cool. Then take a break for a couple of weeks and be her guy again for a while.

I don't know how to say this gently, so I'm just going to be blunt. Sometimes ya'll get caught up in the fun of dressing up, and of being free to dress up, and forget to be our guy for a while. It's often hard for us to say, "I need Tom", especially after watching the relief in your eyes when we say we accept "Susan". Most of us don't want to lose the guy in our lives, even if we are happy to make room for the woman in you....

-g(so)

Jacky · Post by **Jacky** » Sat Jan 20, 2007 7:36 am

Dear Lisbeth,
I can only agree with the others.That how I started it was ok and my wife even took me and we bought some clothes,she put my make up on for me ,even told me that we should go out whilst enfemme.I go so excited that I was on cloud nine.The mistake I made was that I spoke to her about it a lot and that I wanted my own make up, wig etc.then she suddenly dropped it like a bomb shell,she didnot want the kids to find out,and its abnormal,and things like If I knew before the wedding she would not have married me with my "perversion".! To cut a long story short,she told me to leave it or else......I was in tears and she said to me "be a man dont cry like a sissy.I did what I thought I had to and promised to leave it but at the same time told her that I think That it wont go away(and it didnt).It was the most miserable time of my life,and to top it all I had to pretend it was not.Its hard but put the breaks on,show her that she is the most important person in your life and It will make things easier for her.Now two years later I'm tackling the subject again,although I cant wait to be enfemme,I waiting for her to suggest it.One very good thing is that she joined the forum and chats to the other girls wifes so I think that this will educate her in this matter enough to accept the fact that her heterosexual husband likes to dress up,and that he does not love her anyless.So although you have the seemingly perfect response from your S.O. be carefull,dont rush it!
Love
Jacky

Stephanie W · Post by **Stephanie W** » Sat Jan 20, 2007 2:20 pm

Lisbeth, add another voice to the chorus of those telling you to take it slowly and cautiously. You have received some excellent advice from everyone and I totally agree. I came out to my wife a few years ago and she was as cool as you described your wife to be. However, keeping that euphoria in check allowed greater rewards in the long run. Like others, I have seen too many people crash and burn after getting off to a great start.

Granted, the feeling of being out in the open with her is pretty awesome isn't it? However, remaining cautious in spite of that is sound advice from those who've been there. If she continues to be fully supportive, you're not losing anything in taking those small steps. Georgia and Jess' advice on letting her have her husband when she wants him is probably the most valuable you'll ever receive. Good luck.

Stephanie

Lisa(SO) · Post by **Lisa(SO)** » Sun Jan 21, 2007 6:01 am

Congrats Lizbeth. You have receved great advise from everyone so I do not have much to add. Communication s key for my SO and me. It is the most valuable piece in any relationship. Elayne never pushes me to talk when I am not ready, trust me she learned the hard way. Your wife will let you know when she is ready. Please be prepared for some pretty strong questions down the road when she has had moe time to digest the information. I met my husband en femme so one would think I was always acceptng. I was on most days but there were a few on my roller coaster ride that through us both for a loop. I tried to learn everything there was to learn right away and got a sensory overload. Eayne stepped back, became my man, and let me take the lead.

You are a very lucky gurl to have a wife that loves and supports you. I wish we all could have that. Treat her like a queen and you will get the same back.

Lisbeth · Post by **Lisbeth** » Mon Jan 22, 2007 11:58 pm

Well it's been a couple of days now since I opened up to my wife and let her see my other side and things are good. You were all right when you said "baby-steps". I was so happy to hear her say that everything ws fine I took off. Between being a new member here and actually talking with people just like me for the first time in my life and my wife being so accepting of it all I hit the ground running.I know I scared her a little and I told her so. She said she is okay with the fact that I dress up and even asked me if I would leave the house as a girlfriend but She still has a lot of questions. We are communicating on a level we hadn't reached before this and that's a good thing. I found out that this acceptance by the people at the forum and by my wife is a very emotional thing for me. I'm in a place I didn't really think could exist. I'm actually crying as I write ths. Tears of happiness and relief. Like I just took a breath of fresh air for the first time in a long time. Also by trying to describe what I feel to my wife has caused me to really search for words to fit such familiar feelings. I've never had to try to describe how I just feel like I'm where I'm supposed to be when I'm dressed. It just feels like I've connected with a part of me that hides from a scary world until it's safe to come out. By trying to answer her questions I'm aswering a lot of my own. I'm really happy tonight and grateful for who I am. Who we all are. Right now, today, this moment life is good. I can only wait for tomorrow and love all I can. Thanks for letting me run on. I'm thankful for the chance to open up a little bit.

Jess(SO) · Post by **Jess(SO)** » Tue Jan 23, 2007 1:35 am

Lisbeth

glad it is going well, now don't forget to tell your wife how much she means to you, and a word to the wise when you tell her don't mention cding in the same sentance. Just let her know how much you (the male) love her (the female), -- we need to know that sometimes above all else.

Jess

Anita · Post by **Anita** » Tue Jan 23, 2007 3:36 am

Hi Lisbeth--
I'm glad to hear it's still going well on the second or third day, too. Especially that it's going well inside you--it sounds like you have a certain 'footing' that will serve you no matter how things go or don't go.

For the first three months, I had a lot of happiness about this, while at the same time I had to fight a strong feeling that "someone" would take away this new life I'd found. That "someone" could have included me, because I kept fearing that some ugly incident out there in the world would cause me to cave in, and give it all up.

It never happened that way. I kept getting positive reinforcement from the things I did, and I saw that I fit into the world in some way as a woman. I was not with anyone at that time, so I didn't go through that part of coming out. But I did tell family and friends, all around the same time. Keep moving on ahead, step at a time.

Georgia(SO) · Post by **Georgia(SO)** » Tue Jan 23, 2007 12:23 pm

I was just glancing through this thread and wanted to point out that "having your guy" is not just about sexual times. I quite often want my guy to be my guy at other times during the day... breakfast, for example...

just thought I'd make sure it was clear that I wasn't just talking about "in bed".

-g(so)

Stormy(SO) · Post by **Stormy(SO)** » Wed Jan 24, 2007 11:29 pm

Ditto what everybody said and don't forget to have fun!!

Stormy