I'm going to tell her

[Tammy R]

I think you are dead on concerning the next test JoAnn. Although I want to leap out there and go crazy, my inner voice is telling me to slooowww dowwwnnn. B and I have talked a little here and there since yesterday.

B does not want to participate at this time. I can't blame her, and frankly, I am not ready for her too. It is enough to have her knowledge and tolerance at this point.

For the first time in my life I am actually free to dress right, with the blessing of the person closest to me. I will not screw this up.

kind regards,
Tammy

[Kimberly Kael]

It's a wonderful feeling, isn't it? I'm so happy for you and I'm glad you're hearing that inner voice. Take things slow and keep the lines of communication open with your sweetheart. We'll be here to cheer your triumphs and pick you up if you should ever stumble.

Here's to the freedom of self-expression!

[Tammy R]

It truly is Kimberly,

In some light hearted banter at dinner last evening I brought up just how much fun shopping was, even on-line. I got a smile out of her when I said, "damn... bra's are expensive!"

I am more free at this moment than at any other time in my life, although I know the rapture will not last forever.

kind regards,
Tammy

[JoAnnDallas]

I know how you feel. At first my wife did not want to see me dressed or even pictures of me dressed. We did agree on some private time, so that I could dress and even go out if I wanted to. Even then it felt like a huge wieght had lifted off my shoulders. Now that she has accepted my CDing and even become supportive, it has only gotton better.
All along I progressed at baby steps. Like moving some of my boy underware to another drawer and putting my panites in the drawer. Today I have two drawers, one with all my male underware and the other with my fem underware. Needless to say, the male underware hardly gets touched, let alone worn. LOL

[KimberlyS]

Tammy you have done a great job with this. I did similar when working through the CDing issues with my wife. I ask for her tolerance to let me do it on my own and she did not have to have any part of it. I have been lucky and have tolerance with some participation and help.

I hope it keeps going forward good for the both of you. I will take some time to find out how the CDing works into your relationship.

kimberlys-cd
joe in a skirt

[Tammy R]

I am just overwhelmed by all the support

Tonight, for the first time in my 40 years of dressing, I will enjoy in a guilt free moment as Tammy. In celebration, I have chosen an elegant black evening gown that once belonged to my wife. Of course, there is much preparation to do before the gown. Tammy must look her best you know.

I am not taking pictures tonight, but I promise too as soon as the rest of my personal transition is complete, hopefully by this time next month. I did have to make some purchases with my dear wife's blessing.

[Anita]

Tammy, I would try to find a local support group, even if you have to drive a long distance and can only do it once a month. You're feeling some new energy, and I'm happy to see it. That new energy makes you want to talk about it, and being on here is a help for that.

This is the one area where it's hard to match up your needs with your wife's needs. In the "baby steps," you can't expect your wife to want to talk about this as much as you need or want to talk about it.

She's opened the gate, and now she may want to think about it and talk about it as little as possible. You getting to dress is great. But there's a need to talk about and share the new feelings that this brings up, and face-to-face conversations satisfy a need that online doesn't.

[Tammy R]

Hi Anita,

Actually I Have considered that. I live about an hour from a medium size city, and I am aware of some groups, but not specifically support groups. That is good advice I am sure.

I am on the verge of making serious mistakes. What I really need to do is calm down. At this moment I am calm. I enjoyed my brief but welcome moment as Tammy.

[Tammy R]

Meltdown.

Pretty disappointed right now.

... edit 12 hours later...

So we talked for a very long time. Maybe negotiated is a better word, but at least I had a chance to actually explain some things and define some terms that may help. A steadfast refusal to join this forum, but that does not surprise me.

All I can say is, baby steps are hard to take when you're walking on the moon. I'm back to Earth now and my course is corrected. The main thing is that Tammy is still out and the Mrs knows her name. A compromise was reached and today is a new day.

[KimberlyS]

Tammy, working through the CDing issues is not an easy thing. But if your relationship can make it through that it will make it through a lot of things. And yes in working through things there will be a lot of compromising. But in the start you should be doing a lot of the compromising. IMHO, you need to give to show your commitment to working on the issues. And keep things at a pace your wife can handle. Baby steps we say. Many times this may be painfully slow and even seem to go back wards.

One thing that seemed to help my wife some, was me going back and writing up a summary of my CDing from start to current. This gave my wife a sense that it was not something new and it was part of me for a long time. It seemed to help her grasp my CDing a bit better in some ways.

Good luck and keep the communication open and flowing.

kimberlys-cd
joe in a skirt

[JoAnnDallas]

Glad you got through the crisis. This is like most things in life. Sometimes you take two steps forward and one step back. She needs time to sort things out. It took my wife almost 3 years to see that my CDing was not a threat and now she has even joined my Tri-Ess group. Like yours at first she did not want to go or even look at forums like this on-line. Now she sometimes will read post over my shoulder. She is till not interested in joing this forum. She does talk to the other wives in our Tri-Ess group. I am sure that has helped her a lot.

[Tammy R]

Kimberly, Truly it is not easy. I think I should take it slow, but that is the hard part. Sometimes it takes a smack-down. I got that, now it's time to get in tune.

JoAnne, Actually I was glad it happened because B can store up a lot of anger if things are left unsaid and questions unanswered. We accomplished that last night, but it took the better part of a day to work though it.

The mustache came off today. Yes, you read that right. For years I have kept the mustache because the Mrs insisted. Yesterday during our talk I let it be known that one thing I really wanted to do was make the mustache go away forever. Today it came off and I got a grin and a kiss from B. We are OK, we are moving forward.

[Tammy R]

I don't know why it has taken me so long to get back, but here I am, and I suppose I should begin where I left off. I'm beginning here after what I believe to be my last post on this subject.

It has been 18 months to the day and I have tread them with baby steps. My wonderful wife has become increasingly accepting, so I don't push the issue. She and I went dress shopping last week... for me.

She has seen Tammy dressed in a skirt and a dress, but never in full makeup. That day is coming. We take it one step at a time.

Things are going well. I decided it was time to post an album.

Hopeful Hugs,

[DonnaT]

Sounds great, Tammy.

My wife handles it better at home when I don't wear makeup or my wig. Food for thought.

[Tammy R]

I think there is something to be said for that approach Donna.

Here's a funny twist. My wife has asked me about some make-up tips. Seriously.