I don't think I have wisdom to offer so much as I have "been there - done that". I've been working on self-acceptance ever since a shrink (in 1974) unexpectedly told me that there was nothing wrong with my crossdressing - unless I couldn't accept myself.
I have accepted my gender variance, and been married to the same wonderful person since 1976.
Reality can be harsh. It hasn't always been easy, and I've taken the safe way out most of the time, by living fully closeted.
Still, the closet does get boring, and I do find that I often crave time alone.
Sometimes I sacrifice other pleasures to have coveted time alone. Sometimes the price is very high - in retrospect I wonder what I was thinking. I blame my poor judgment on excess testosterone.
I hope sharing this helps.
Hugs,
Bernice
new feelings
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Elizabeth
- Miss Ruby Goddess
- Posts: 1878
- Joined: Mon May 03, 2004 3:02 am
Hi Jennifer,
The analogy I use, is that it's like getting out of prison(I presume). All these pent up feelings that we never had a chance to express. Wanting to express them all at once and still keep some kind of balance in our lives. I agree with Stephanie, it's no easy task.
One of the things that really helped me was the old adage "take it one day at a time". I reverted to my younger days when I was not focused on the future and two weeks from now seemed like forever. Try to take each day as it comes and not worry so much about "everything". Everything is just a collection of a lot of small things. Small things are easier to deal with than "everything".
The freedom to be who we are can be daunting, but we can manage it by realizing this is really who we have always been. Trust yourself and try not to worry about things you don't control and just enjoy being who you are.
Love always,
Elizabeth
The analogy I use, is that it's like getting out of prison(I presume). All these pent up feelings that we never had a chance to express. Wanting to express them all at once and still keep some kind of balance in our lives. I agree with Stephanie, it's no easy task.
One of the things that really helped me was the old adage "take it one day at a time". I reverted to my younger days when I was not focused on the future and two weeks from now seemed like forever. Try to take each day as it comes and not worry so much about "everything". Everything is just a collection of a lot of small things. Small things are easier to deal with than "everything".
The freedom to be who we are can be daunting, but we can manage it by realizing this is really who we have always been. Trust yourself and try not to worry about things you don't control and just enjoy being who you are.
Love always,
Elizabeth
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Jennifer M
- Miss Platinum Goddess
- Posts: 361
- Joined: Thu Jun 14, 2007 9:04 pm
- Location: Upstate New York
Bernice,
I would think that "been there ,done that" leads to wisdom.I also believe that the wisdom from everyone on this forum has helped me to get where I am,that is once I learned to listen.
I am beginning to settle my thoughts and I am feeling better about who I am and how I treat myself and others.Being around so many in my day to day life that are "freaked" out by this I tend to spend a lot of time alone,regardless of which mode I am.Learning to do things on my own is tough but I think it will pay off in the end.Yesterday,in male mode I went to Victoria's Secret as I was out of my favorite body mist.I was nervous but I didnt let it show.I had been trying for two years to get the courage up to do that.
Being alone is also changing for me.I feel its ok to be alone.I am not dependant on others for my happiness,I am finding it for myself.This is important to me as I still believe that I will not find a woman tolerant of my femme side.My mind tells me I am wrong,and I may be.I am just going by what my heart says as it has been more accurate lately.Either way I now believe that no matter what happens I will be ok.My core self is getting stronger
I would think that "been there ,done that" leads to wisdom.I also believe that the wisdom from everyone on this forum has helped me to get where I am,that is once I learned to listen.
I am beginning to settle my thoughts and I am feeling better about who I am and how I treat myself and others.Being around so many in my day to day life that are "freaked" out by this I tend to spend a lot of time alone,regardless of which mode I am.Learning to do things on my own is tough but I think it will pay off in the end.Yesterday,in male mode I went to Victoria's Secret as I was out of my favorite body mist.I was nervous but I didnt let it show.I had been trying for two years to get the courage up to do that.
Being alone is also changing for me.I feel its ok to be alone.I am not dependant on others for my happiness,I am finding it for myself.This is important to me as I still believe that I will not find a woman tolerant of my femme side.My mind tells me I am wrong,and I may be.I am just going by what my heart says as it has been more accurate lately.Either way I now believe that no matter what happens I will be ok.My core self is getting stronger
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Leeza
- Miss Ruby Goddess
- Posts: 1745
- Joined: Tue Mar 18, 2008 4:46 pm
- Location: McCook, Nebraska
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