Secrets

[Joanne T.]

Babbs,
There are lots of rather deep and psychological replies but it is your situation and only you can decide when the time is right.
Trust your instincts and act accordingly in your own time.
Best of luck
Hugs
Joanne xxxx

[Babbs]

Thanks Joanne, I agree, sometimes one can over think an issue.

[OliviaM]

Ts was extremely interesting reading and It gave me a lot to think about!! I am hiding some things from wife due to some negative comments after we did some shopping together!! I do plan on opening the door soon but things are going well for now!!

[Babbs]

Olivia, from my estimation, your doing better than me with your wife. To me your lucky but like some girls have said in other posts, this is sometimes like a hobby and your wife doesn't have to participate in your hobby, just respect your participation...Your in Hawaii I see! Lucky girl! So cold in the northeast!

[OliviaM]

Yes Babbs I understand what you are saying about hobbies and participation, but I haven't gotten to her real acceptance and it is limiting how and when I can let Olivia out!! And yes the weather is great and the reason I moved from NY!!

[OliviaM]

Not sure if I did the right thing!! I have confided my CD to a woman I work with!! Showed her the purple dress I bought that pulls across the front because of the girls!! Just thought a woman's opinion couldn't hurt!! She was helpful!! First is this ok?? I am having second thoughts about her ability to keep a secret!!

[Babbs]

Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.

Benjamin Franklin


I find that even if you ask someone to keep a secret, they always have someone else who they feel they can trust to tell a secret, who then has someone else and so on and so on....

[Davita]

Olivia! Good idea if you ask me. Now here's the thing with secrets. The best you can hope for is that certain people are not included in the "I am not supposed to tell anyone, but ..." list. I always told friends they can tell their spouses. When I was more "secretive", I told folks please be discreet and please don't tell anyone. I might mention certain people I really really don't want them to know assuming folks I tell would talk. I think I let out my secret more than my friends ever did.

Olivia, did you ask your work mate to not blab? Did you tell her how concerned you were if it got out? This statement, "please be careful, if this gets out, I think I might get fired or it will be made very hard for me..." something to that effect tends to stress the importance of the secret.

[OliviaM]

Thank you Babbs for a giggle from Franklin!! I know I took a gamble but it is done now so we will see!! Also thank you Davita for your great response!! I did make it clear that I was only letting her know!! She did kind of ask if she could tell one other woman I am also good friends with And that would be the only one!! I asked told that would be the last person I would want to know, and she said OK!! Again it was a gamble and we shall see!! Really nice to have you girls to talk to!! Later Gator!!

[Paulette]

The problem with a secret is that even if it's not shared, you are hostage to it. When your secret is discovered or outed or when you simply out yourself, you will pay the ransom for all the time you held it to yourself. And when it's finally out there may well be someone who says "I wish you'd told me sooner -- we could have had such fun together!"

Also, if a secret is kept long enough it will begin to warp your entire self-perception and color how you think of yourself.

[OliviaM]

Yes Paulette I hear you and can agree with everything you say!! But maybe that all just goes with the territory!! It's just that everyone should not know about Olivia!! I have to pick and choose who knows and trust them!! And maybe it's right that Olivia is separate with very few mutual friends!! Also sometimes the hiding is exciting and sometimes it is so limiting that it is areal burden!! Thanks for making me think!!!

[LexieJayne]

For a closet CD like myself its a big secret. I'm not sure that my wife would be terribly upset, I just can't bring myself to expose it now. She knows how much I love lingerie, I've bought her tons (most of which I've tried on & fit well into). She even plays along to some degree, rubbing me with panties during sex and even slipping them all the way on me more than a few time recently.

I am conflicted though because I enjoy being a strong masculine, supportive, kind & caring husband to a wonderful beautiful wife. At the same time I am intoxicated by dressing up; after many years of amateur & clumsy cd'ing I have discovered high heels & all sorts of dresses that suit my slender physique. I have a submissive alter ego that is bordering on homosexual in nature. Not sure if anyone here is familiar with tumblr but that picture blog site has a huge cottage industry of gay 'sissies'. I get the impression that the mainstream company line here is that most crossdressers are mainly heterosexual men who happen to like to wear women's clothing. Might just be me but I find it hard to believe that dressing up in female attire and being feminine does not spark at least some bisexual feelings. Again might just be me; I was sexually abused at a very young age (6 and eight yeas old) by two different males so I have come to grips about some of the reasons for my bisexual longings. As for the cross dressing part I am really not sure why. Could be the absent distant alcoholic father coupled with the self conscious insecure yet domineering mother....maybe its just a fetish thing that once it started and its powerful sexual lure that its just another addictive element to my personality.......

[Anthony Simon]

. I have a submissive alter ego that is bordering on homosexual in nature. Not sure if anyone here is familiar with tumblr but that picture blog site has a huge cottage industry of gay 'sissies'. I get the impression that the mainstream company line here is that most crossdressers are mainly heterosexual men who happen to like to wear women's clothing. Might just be me but I find it hard to believe that dressing up in female attire and being feminine does not spark at least some bisexual feelings. Again might just be me; I was sexually abused at a very young age (6 and eight yeas old) by two different males so I have come to grips about some of the reasons for my bisexual longings. As for the cross dressing part I am really not sure why. Could be the absent distant alcoholic father coupled with the self conscious insecure yet domineering mother....maybe its just a fetish thing that once it started and its powerful sexual lure that its just another addictive element to my personality.......

Well, you've got a lot of issues packed in here. From the outside it isn't hard to make the connection you've made from the submissive bisexual longings as part of your CDing to the homosexual childhood abuse you suffered. Stuff like that happening to you as a child leaves all sorts of unresolved residues - and the CDing fantasies likely provide a way for your brain try to work through it.

With me, I have fantasies about being a woman having sex with a man. Like that's more a transsexual fantasy than a homosexual or a bisexual one. It isn't necessarily the case, then, that dressing up implies bisexuality. I get the sense, when I'm dressing up, of being taken over by another, female, person. So then my alter-ego would be female rather than tending towards the homosexual.

When you talk about your parents as possible sources of your CDing, that does make sense. Like you don't seem to have had a sound source of love as a child, so maybe there's some element of compensating for that in the CDing. That would certainly be true of me.

[OliviaM]

I have read both of your posts (more than once) and caused much thinking. Still thinking. But today dressed out of the house for first time. It was still in private but I did it. Tomorrow I will dress for the friend who knows in her office. She is the only one who will see. A little nervous and excited. Tonight I am at the movies (undressed pantyhose, panties) to see Casablanca on the big screen. Excited. Here's looking at you kid.

[OliviaM]

That is under dressed.