Danger

Jessie · Post by **Jessie** » Sun Aug 15, 2004 6:14 pm

I shall though he has been out of the setion for a while now. He was on patrol on the waters of NY harbor on 9/11 and like a lot of east cost family I do not stay that well in touch with them except threw my mom (do to most of her brothers and sisters live out east) and my dad (only brother lives in queens (i think))

Jessie

Pauline · Post by **Pauline** » Sun Aug 15, 2004 9:23 pm

Hia Chantelle

Where i live in the uk... when i first moved in this area 10 years ago it was 0-1 then after someone got stabbed in a allyway for just being there at the wront time and place & bad elements moving into the area acouple of years ago... its got to a 3-4 perhaps 5-6 but if anyone in the area found out that i crossdressed or anyone else that might "be different", it would b 10, it would b like living in hell..

What happened to the society that is accepting to one and all in the 21st centuary and where do they live

Pauline

Virginia · Post by **Virginia** » Sun Aug 15, 2004 11:14 pm

Yes there are dangerous places, a year ago someone(s) broke into a rural home on a main highway here, "the Smarts" it made the national news, shot the mother and father and the daughter was later found dead several miles away, so I guess no one is really safe. I think the point of the request was about us as CD'ers and how safe do we feel individually and I guess that would translate to those who do dress and go out in or around our hometowns. Should you be "outed" what are the possibilites of suffering physical harm. I can only speak for myself - as we have acknowledged, the biggest threat to a CD'er and being outed is a "gang" of teenage girls! One girl I met had that happen and get this!! she simply called them over to her and talked with them about how she could improve her appearance, uh, she did also tell them something to the effect that she had to dress like this - no reason given! They bought it and actually were very helpful. I am sure that would not work everytime and it would take some "kuhunas!" to do it but hey this is why we are here to offer ideas for particular situations. As for Virginia - well, she would become your worst nighmare!
Keep the faith, girls!
Virginia

Kathy · Post by **Kathy** » Mon Aug 16, 2004 2:42 pm

On a scale of 1 - 10, I'd have to rate my area a 5. Being a rural area where everyone knows everyone, the danger is more to one's reputation than physical. While we do have our militant hotheads, most of the folks here are fairly peaceful and just want to get by.

SophieLawson · Post by **SophieLawson** » Mon Aug 16, 2004 3:17 pm

I'd say this place I live is about a 2, I feel safe around here but this topic certainly makes ya think

Sophie xx

Absaroka · Post by **Absaroka** » Mon Feb 25, 2008 9:14 am

I was looking back over old posts and thought this one might be a good one to resurrect.

There is so much on the forums about going out that it can be easy to forget that sometimes it's just not a good idea.

I'm not sure how I'd rate where I live. The safety factor I think has more to do with peoples propensity for violence than anything else. In particular there are often young men who are sort of used to the whole idea of proving themselves through violence. Any percieved weakness is seen as an opportunity. And dressing en femme in such a situation is presenting them with too good an opportunity to pass up. But there are plenty of other ways to present oneself as a target as well, and osmetimes it's just best to avoid these situations when you can.

So in terms of where I live, although people might tend to shun or avoid me, lets face it the soccer moms aren't about to do a beat down on me, and the teenage boys are all punks (not in the club sense but the other meaning), so you don't have to worry about them. I guess I'd call it physically safe but socially dangerous.

Max Wolf talks about this some in his book The Testosterone Files. He had an interesting take on it.

Absaroka

Carolynn · Post by **Carolynn** » Mon Feb 25, 2008 1:02 pm

Hi Chantelle and all.
I am going to say that in the central Oklahoma area, it kinda depends on where you go and where you stay out of. The GLBT "ghetto" with its lesbian and gay clubs is a relatively friendly place, about a 2 or 3. You can still get into trouble, but all the clubs employ bouncers to remove trouble makers, who are usually "slummers". Sometimes that can be inebriated TG folks too. There are areas of the city that I would not want to go to, and even with a large biker friend of mine, I am very uncomfortable in the biker bars.

Cowboy bars? Uh-uh. Stay far, far away. Those guys get seriously messed up and are not to be trusted. Talk about Mr. Macho. If you have to go with someone, go early in the evening, the earilier the better. Then leave. If you encounter the type while shopping, thats different since they are usually with wife/gf. Other bars cater to spanish speakers, and those you should steer clear of. Stabbings and shootings are common there every week.

Local Hotel bars are fine, from what I have been told.

Restaraunts? I have only encountered one where a new night manager had a problem our existence with a group of us, though the staff did not. We voted with our feet and do not patronize the place anymore. Since we spent well over 200 bucks (less generous tips) there in aggregate every Monday night, which is a slow night, I hope he was happy in his self rightousness (one of the wait staff told us he was a religious bigot). Every other restaraunt in town treats us just as customers, and I do not worry about going there alone or in company.

The police are another matter. Each of the police departments actually have at least one TS officer (post op but everyone knows) in the department, but that doesn't offer any protection if it's one of the MR. MACHO crap heads that you have to deal with. One friend was somewhat inebriated and trying to go home about 1 A.M., when she was pulled over. She gave the cop her drivers license, which had her male identity and photo on it, and he wouldn't listen to her when she tried to explain she was transgendered. She is very passable and he thought she was throwing a stolen license on him (that was one of the charges, dismissed). He pulled her out of the car, she stumbled in her heels and her inebriation, and badly skinned both her knees and shins on the blacktop, and then he pushed her hard on the pavement with a knee on her neck where she bruised the side of her face and cuffed her. He then took her to the station and had her pickup towed.

She was turned over to a female cop to search (he was apparently convinced she was female though she tried to explain she was transgendered), and when the female officer found she was physically male, she got P.O.ed thinking that she had been set up by the others, and she might have. Anyway, my friend spent three days in jail before there was a bond hearing or a phone call, thankfully in a cell by herself, and without medical treatment for her bleeding knees. She is HIV positive from an encounter when she thought she was gay, and she told them that and they didn't believe her. They had taken the hairpiece she was wearing mixed with her real hair but left her fully clothed for the hearing, so she presented a sorry sight, as she says.

In my experiences with cops I have always been treated with respect, but then I wasn't drunk and I just confidently handed them my DL and my carry letter and proof of insurance (I am doing RLE and a carry letter from my therapist states that). But then, I look like a grandmother anyway......

I have never gotten a ticket in four stops, though one of them was just a road block checking for drunk drivers.

So, in general, if you stay out of trouble spots and don't do something to get stopped by a cop, then you are pretty safe around here, maybe about a 4 overall on a scale of 1-10 with 10 being worst. Doesn't mean you can't be unexpectedly harrassed, but if you maintain your cool, it doesn't mean much.

There is a law in Oklahoma prohibiting biological males from using the ladies, but I go there anyway and have not been challenged. If I was, I would present the carry letter and ID and hope for the best. And yes, my name on the license is changed, and the rest of my ID, except for birth certificate. Can't do that until next Sept. after surgery.

Now Tulsa, Oklahoma is another, more dangerous matter, but I don't live in that area, and I am glad.

Love, Carolynn

Post by **DonnaT** » Mon Feb 25, 2008 3:02 pm

Violence can occur anywhere. Remember the kid shot in the head in CA, while in school recently.

Then, on the 22nd, there was a shooting in FL. http://www.feministe.us/blog/archives/2 ... -murdered/

DeeDee · Post by **DeeDee** » Mon Feb 25, 2008 8:24 pm

Donna, here's a link to an article in the local paper concerning the Fla shooting. http://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/local/ ... 7964.story
All in all, its not a very nice area....I would be afraid to go there in any mode.
DeeDee

Violet · Post by **Violet** » Mon Feb 25, 2008 10:47 pm

I find personal safety has a lot to do with attitude. If I am out CD I am certain to present an air of confidence, attitude of being ready to defend myself if necessary, and not take crap from anyone. I think overall Saskatoon would be a 7/8, not as violent as some big cities but not especially friendly to TG people. I often have walked home late in full CD, around 3AM or later, even through some rougher parts of town, and not been bothered. I have been assaulted 2 times, 1 time in a bar and 1 time within blocks of my own home, both times I was able to take care of it myself just showing the guy I'm not easy prey, I find that acting loud and angry and psychotic creates a large impression. I have also got into some confrontations that could have ended badly I think, if I did not stand up for myself. Carrying pepper spray or a knife if you can handle it will really help that self confidence, also I've been thinking about taking some classes in martial arts & maybe you could too - or at least basic self defence like a lot of girls take these days. I've always felt you're more likely to get into trouble if you have no confidence in yourself and act nervous or scared, if you get in a fight don't act like you're scared to be hurt. Step into the punch and don't forget, stiletto heels are *very painful* if you jam them right down on a guy's foot with all your strength! The cops around here seem pretty professional, I don't know what I'd do if I got in trouble with police since you're 'not allowed' to fight back if a police is assaulting you!

Merinda · Post by **Merinda** » Thu Mar 06, 2008 2:34 pm

Melbourne Australia would rate less than 1 out of ten within the normal suburban radius , this is with the exception of a few suburbs that can be dangerous for anyone at anytime.
The fringe suburbs can have a number of intimidating type people as do country towns , this is where you either stay in the closet or travel to the city if you want to go out.

If your a smart girl you wont visit a pub full of drunken yobbo's.

Azurielle · Post by **Azurielle** » Thu Mar 06, 2008 11:11 pm

As a canadian resident, I have to say that, while Canadians seem very open-minded, they have a very, no, EXTREMELY hostile and even violent reactions to TGs and CDs.
Its not just in Vancouver too: My current residence is located in northern New-Brunswick and it's just about the same reaction.

Stephanie W · Post by **Stephanie W** » Fri Mar 14, 2008 8:33 pm

Azurielle

In my experience, Canada is a lot more accepting than many places I know of. Being a regular out and about gal in Toronto, I'm happy to say I've never experienced any hostility from anyone and find this city to be one of the best places to go out dressed. Obviously one always to need to keep their wits about them in some areas, but that goes for whether one is dressed or not. Not sure about the East Coast, but I've heard more positive experiences from the West Coast gals than bad ones, so keep the faith. We do still live in a great country and hopefully you'll find that NB will become more tolerant and your positive experiences will outweigh the bad ones.

Stephanie

Amelie-Laveau · Post by **Amelie-Laveau** » Sun Mar 16, 2008 5:55 pm

Wow,, such an old thread, this was probably one of my first posts here at the forum. And yes, Baltimore is still dangerous,, almost 300 people out of 500,000 were murdered last year. Once one gets used to a hood they soon learn where to walk and what places to avoid.
But, I do see gentrification coming my way,, with the new yuppies moving in the police are cracking down a bit,, also the yuppies are now the main targets of crime,,,yea for yuppies. Maybe I'll even mug a yuppie. lol

Violet · Post by **Violet** » Wed Mar 19, 2008 7:42 pm

TSRoadmap: Safety

link contains a lot of good tips for how to stay safe (a lot of which even I don't follow a lot, which is probably why I get in trouble sometimes

) I disagree somewhat with the section on non-lethal weapons of defense - they make good points, but I'd always rather have my Mace and not need it, than not have it when I really need it (and am thinking about trying to get my hands on a taser also, you can never be too protected!)